I think I'm in love with Zim?
by Feeling-Grand
Summary: Dib realizes that he's in love with his only friend Zim. He is too overjoyed when Zim loves him back. But fate plays a cruel trick when Zim gets pregnant... and then some. Happiness, joy, anguish and pain... will they be together in the end? ZADR\FINISH.
1. Chapter 1

**Dib**

**Chapter 1**

My lengthy observation has been going on for years. Some how he's been able to grow taller like his built some device so he's the same height as the other teenagers here.

I looked at him with low slitting eyes as Zim sat on the other side of the room to me. I was sixteen now and the years had only seemed to drag by as I had to keep thwarting his attempts to take over the world. God I hated him, but in that hate I had grown a dependency and I didn't know how… it was like I couldn't go a day with out spying on him, watching his every move like some sort of stalker. But I always had to know what was coming around the corner. With Zim, anything was possible.

The teacher, Mr. Twinky, was talking at the front of the class with a big long wooden pointing stick which he'd slam the end of it on your desk if you were not paying attention. Man he was annoying, but at least Zim could never try anything in this class, which to my pleasure, frustrated him severely.

The bell rang in a knelling sound and we got our bags, going to our lockers… believe it or not, Zim's locker was right next to mine… co-incidents, no? Or maybe he did it that way so he could keep an eye on me to make sure I wasn't figuring out his plans.

We both placed down our bags and I glanced at him suspiciously.

I said in a determined Alien busting voice "Don't try to pull anything Zim, I'm always going to catch you out."

"Foolish human, you try to defeat the almighty ZIM?"

"Well seeing as I succeeded so far in every attempt you've made," I said confidently with a sneer "I'd say that I already have."

Zim snuffed annoyed and put his books away, whispering to himself "you think you have…"

"Yeah right." I said with a annoyed breath out and put my books away too. Some pretty girls walked by and I glanced at them with a smile but one said to the other.

"Look at those losers… God, like freakazoid and Godzilla."

I frowned lowering my eyebrows annoyed and stared at Zim who was thinking to himself.

"It's because of you I'm a social outcast." I hissed and he stared at me with an irritated face.

"Did I ever say 'hey why don't you follow me for five years, spy on my base and go through my garbage?!'" he said in a dumb voice mocking me and I slammed my locker door shut furious.

"If that's what I have to do to stop you from destroying the world."

"Again with this destroying?! You really need to get a life!"

"I DO HAVE A LIFE!" I shouted angrily but knew to myself that I really didn't. Zim had consumed my life ever since he landed here five years ago and that really hadn't bothered me. I had been collecting data all those years yet it had kept getting destroyed… _oh_! And no one believed me. Even though Gaz knew she still didn't make any attempts to be my eye witness when I needed her to back me up on my claims. Even the FBI had blocked my number because I kept ringing too often and by the time they got down here the proof had been destroyed by Zim or his dumb-witted robot Gir.

"What ever Dib," Zim said interrupting me in my thoughts and I glared at him lividly "You suck, and Zim rocks." and with that he turned around and walked off in his marching stance.

"Jerk…" I muttered under my breath and went to the cafeteria as well. I got my disgusting lunch of raw meat and grool and ate it, sitting down next to Gaz who was absorbed in her game with intense eyes.

"I know he's up to something Gaz." I said to her and she sighed annoyed "I can just feel it."

"Isn't he always up to something, Dib?" she asked angrily and I looked at her quickly.

"No… well, yeah. Except this time he's planning something big."

"And what would he be planning."

"Maybe to make everyone's pets turn against them and eat them… or maybe he wants to create a bigger whole in the ozone layer."

"Right…" Gaz said plainly and then shouted into her game "_DIE! DIE! DIE!_"

My eyes met Zim's across the room and we both slit them, staring at each other hatefully.

"You'll never win…" I mouthed out and he just chuckled, looking back to his food and poking it with his fork.

School was finished as usual and I hurried to my house, going to my room and looking through the eyepiece of my enormous telescope. As far as I could see Zim hadn't returned home yet and Gir wasn't anywhere about either. I quickly turned to my computer screen and clicked on the video device as I looked into the spy cameras I had planted into his house (with the oblivious help of Gir).

He was no where, it was so strange. He usually came home straight after school and complained to Gir about how the filthy humans were and how they'd all soon be annihilated. I breathed out cautiously at this weird not showing up thing and just sighed to myself, shrugging my shoulders and going to my other desk to do my homework.

I was of course an A student in everything except English… for some reason my teacher found my writing too angry and disturbed. I smirked at this irritated; I had reason to be angry. I had no friends, no one liked me and everyone thought I was insane. So please excuse me if I get a little spiteful in my writings about Romeo and Juliet or any other crap they try to shove down my throat… I had more important things to worry about, like the fate of the human race.

I finished my work in about two hours; I was doing honour subjects in everything and wrote in the essay about how Romeo appeared to me.

_It is quite obvious to me that Romeo is only attracted to Juliet because she has cast some sort of potion on him, a chemical of some type for he knew quite well that the relationship between them both would never be able to work considering their families opposition. I mean, C-mon? It's like a human and an ALIEN going out, which would be like the most disgusting thing in the whole entire world!_

I looked away after re-reading that bit and thought to myself… would it? I mean, I was once attracted to an alien, Tak, though she was disguised as a human. I couldn't believe that I had worked together with Zim in saving the world that day five years ago. Gosh, to be honest, I had helped him plenty of times and yet he had never thanked me but continued to try to destroy everything. Dick head, seriously, he was such a jerk. And the annoying thing that I found out is that he's going to live way longer than me. What I had come across one time was when he was talking to Gir was that he'd soon be celebrating his one hundredth birthday and that was him just entering teen hood in Irken time.

So unless I found a way to get him off this earth forever before my time comes, he'll have no one to stop him and we'd all be doomed…

I gulped but shook my head quickly, ignoring the panic. That was not going to happen… not on my watch.

"Dib, you retard!" Gaz shouted angrily from downstairs "Dinner is ready!"

"Kay!" I shouted back quickly and got off my chair with wheels, going down and seeing sausages and beans on the plates at the counters.

"Hmm… my favourite." I said sarcastically and Gaz glared at me annoyed.

"Do you want to do the cooking for once?"

"Oh no," I said quickly thinking of something to say "I mean I love your food."

"Well that makes one of us." she said blankly and took her plate, a knife and fork in her other hand before sitting down at the small round table.

I sighed fed up, Gaz always made the same… maybe it wasn't fair on her though, she had been given the role of the stereotypical girl in having to make the dinners and no one gave her credit for it.

I placed my plate down on the table too and started to eat it quickly so I could head back up to my room and spy on Zim's house some more.

"So how was school today sis?" I asked in a casual chatty nature for she was the only one who would talk to me in the whole entire universe by choice.

"Fine, I beat up some kid for bumping into me in the hall."

"Well…" I said slowly thinking of something to say "He probably deserved it."

"It was a first grader girl."

"…COOL!" I said forcefully with two thumbs up and she rolled her eyes, finishing her dinner and getting back to her game that magically appeared in her hands.

I finished my dinner shortly after and started to head upstairs but stopped in mid walk as Gaz said calmly.

"If you're going to spy on Zim, there's no point."

"Why?"

"I saw his space craft fly off today just after school finished with a bag packed in it."

"And let me guess…" I said angrily "No one noticed the alien flying by?"

"Nope."

Figures… so he was up to something and had left his house for a little while. It didn't scare me, he'd have to come back to talk to the almighty tallest sooner or later, he'd probably be back after a day or so. And then I'd thwart him again… like I always did


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When I arrived at school the next day he was no where to be seen. I looked around suspiciously and hid behind walls in case he could sneak up behind me but it was useless methods. He was not in the school property at all.

I sighed sadly thinking of what he might be planning with fear and tried to pay attention in my subjects but it was so hard to get my mind off his evil green face, a large beaming sinister grin plastered across his lips and me not able to know where he was.

I tapped my pencil on my desk impatient as the day drew to an end and ran to his house, looking at it viciously. I stood there gaping and shouted in a defiant voice "I know you're in there Zim! What are you planning!!?"

There was no response and I wiped my lips with my sleeve frustrated as I went to the door bravely and knocked on it.

I could hear a happy skip coming to it and the door was quickly opened by Gir, not in disguise.

"Gir!" I said angrily and stomped in "Where is Zim?!"

"Ohh!" he cooed happily and jumped around me "My master has gone on a vacation!"

"Vacation?" I said instantly confused as I startled back but stepped forward saying to the robot, "Well then why didn't he take you?!"

"Said I needed to mind the base!"

I looked about at the pizza boxes that lay everywhere in the Lange room and glanced at him not believing.

"Zim would never take a vacation when trying to destroy the-"

"Looooook!" Gir beamed and threw a pizza slice at me "I made a PIGGY!"

"Very… Good." I said gritting my teeth and walked on through the house looking about suspiciously "Well, when will he be back?"

"Don't know!" Gir said laughing "Whoo! Party!"

"Well… Gir," I said with an unsure smile "Do you want to play a game."

"G-g-g-game?!" he choked out in excitement "Oh, I DO looove Games!"

"Okay, well this one is called 'tell Dib Zim's next plan' game"

"Hoo hoo hoo ooh!" he cheered and I sat on the couch, pulling out a pen a notepad from my jacket's pocket and waited for him to start dishing.

"Well Zim said let's go to the potty and eat ice cream and we went dancing all around the house and then to the moon and then a squirrel came and we went to Big Macs and bought a HUGE Burger which we all shared and boy! Did we ever make a mess!"

"Oy…" I sighed annoyed, I should've known that even after five years I was still only going to get complete nonsense out of that robot "Well thanks… but that's enough."

"Can I come home with you! I'm lonesome here." Gir said sadly and I stared at him blankly.

"No Gir, Good guys don't have bad guys come to their houses."

"WHAAA! WHAAA! WHAA!" he suddenly burst out crying and I covered my ears instantly from the loud drilling noise.

"Shut up Gir!"

"You don't loves me! You don't loves me!"

"Well of course I don't!" I shouted obviously and he just went into a bigger wail.

"WHAAA! WHAA! WHAA!-"

"Alright!" I screamed at him "You can come! God!"

"Hee, he, he!" he suddenly said skipping over to his dog suit and putting it on, "Let's go!"

"But what about the base?" I asked looking at it.

"It needs some time away from me… we had a fight over the TV."

"Right…" I said slowly, not believing. Oh well, Maybe I could re-programme Gir, get him to be my loyal robot and spy on Zim for me.

As we reached my house, Gir was hopping about madly and laughing all the while.

"Ohhh! I'm gonna loves staying here for the night! Is Gaz home?"

"Err sure, I guess she is by now."

"Ohh hoo, hoo, hoo!" he cooed excitedly and ran to the door opening it up and I ran after him into the house.

"Gaz!" I shouted and he copied clapping his hands "I'm home."

"God," she said coming into the hall with folded arms "What is Zim's evil dog robot thing doing here? Are you like feeding it for him while he's away?"

"Ohh! You gonna feeds me!?" Gir asked excitedly turning around to me and jumping about ecstatic

"No."

"WHAA! WHAAA!-"

"Alright fine!"

"Ohh hoo, hoo!"

"God, Dib, You're like Zim's little pet, you follow him around everywhere and now are even taking care of his robot in his absence."

"It's not like that!" I said angrily to Gaz and she raised one eyebrow not believeing "I'm going to re-programme him."

"Ohh!" Gir screamed crazily "I loves when things get stuck intos me! It's sensational!"

"Well, if you're going to take care of him, could you at least keep him quiet, put a bolt around his mouth or something…" she said annoyed and I sighed in desperation.

"Believe me, I'm considering it."

I started to regret bringing Gir home. No matter where he went he left a trail of mess and he would scream into my ear at any possible moment. I should've realised that only the second most annoying thing in the world, Zim, could put up with the first.

As I sat at my desk in my room doing my work Gir walked in with tomato sauce all over his face and smiled when he saw me. I groaned and he jumped on my desk shouting.

"SURPRISE!"

"Don't you ever calm down?!" I yelled and he stared at me confused.

"What do you mean by that Dib thingy?"

"I mean, you act like you bloody have ADD or something, you're always all over the place."

"That's just showing I loves you!" Gir replied and grabbed my face kissing me and getting tomato sauce all over my cheeks.

"Urgh!" I shouted pushing him off and he laughed dancing about before falling dead asleep on my homework.

I blinked slowly, cautious and surprised but slowly grinned, knowing it was my chance to plug him up and try to re-programme him. I lifted him carefully off my desk and got one of my long extension chords connecting it to his middle.

I turned on my computer and quickly saw a whole bunch of Irken writing, not knowing what it meant till I switched on the alien translation device and the symbols quickly turned to English writing. Gir was sleeping soundlessly, sucking his thumb and I glanced over at him warily. I typed in some codes which said _be loyal to your masters, give up your life for your master _and then almost forgetting I added _Your new master is Dib Membrane._

I saved the settings and translated it back into Irken so it would compute with him before shrugging sleepily. I unplugged the chord and closed up his centre unit before getting changed into my pyjamas and going to bed. I swooped the blankets over me and closed my eyes tiredly, going asleep.

I could hear his snoring as it started up and frowned with my eyes shut… great, a snorer.

The next morning I woke in surprised as a pail of water was tossed over me and I jumped up looking about dazed to see Gir standing on the ground and looking up at me smiling.

"Good morning, Dib!"

"Good morning…" I grunted back with clenched teeth and he clapped his hands excitedly "Is this how you usual wake your master?"

"Yes SIR!" he said in a serious ordered voice and I jumped surprised at his sudden seriousness.

"Okay."

"Okay dokey!" he replied and climbed quickly onto my bed, jumping all around it and laughing insanely.

"Urgh…" I said frustrated at him "I knew this wouldn't work… you're exactly the same"

"I'm gonna go home now!" he said happily and jumped to the floor but I grabbed his arm quickly, lifting him up and taking him over to my gadgets, "What you doing?" he asked curious and I replied blankly.

"Just installing a camera onto your front." and I got a tiny spy camera and drilled it in.

"You are obsessed with my master aren't you?!"

"Well when he's an evil alien bent on taking over the world I have to watch his every move."

"Right." Gir replied slowly and jumped out of my hands when I was done "See you later big head!"

"I do not have a big head!" I shouted angrily after him and looked out my window shortly after to see him flying away with his jets at the bottom of his feet.

I sighed. Zim would have to be home soon, I mean the base would explode if it was left in Gir's care for too long and even he knew that himself.

I looked over at my computer screen and turned on Gir's camera through it seeing that he had arrived home and was going inside to get something to eat.

"I sure do like PIZZA!" Gir shouted to himself happily going over to the phone and ringing up the pizza house.

I watched engrossed as he explored all through the house doing basically nothing but it was what I was seeing, parts of the house I had never seen before that fascinated me.

And to be honest to myself, as the days went by, I was shocked that Zim never called once, he had totally disappeared and this was really worrying me.

For all I knew he was going off destroying needless cities and no one would be noticing.

But even with that… I still missed him. As I came to school, I missed seeing him there. I mean, I had seen him nearly everyday for about five years and with him missing for now a week and a half I was starting to get worried.

I wondered how Zim coped with having no friends… like me, it must be hard. Well at least he had a robot, who liked him, I wasn't even sure if my sister liked me.

But still, at least when he was there I had someone to notice me at school, even if he was evil.

But was he really that evil? Maybe it was because of his orders… maybe I could persuade him to change his mind. He'd probably think it would be some sort of trick but maybe after five years he'd have some respect for me and see things through my eyes. I'd assume that he wouldn't want his own planet Irk destroyed, so maybe if I bought that up he'd be able to relate.

"I'm gonna yell monkey!" Gir said loudly with glee and I looked back at the screen I'd been watching ever since I had come home from school "MONKEY!"


	3. Chapter 3

Yo, this is the third chapter and I'm glad I updated quickly enough. Hope you like it! There probably won't be anything physical for a while but who knows! ;D

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The days seem to start to go by more slowly. He had not come back after twelve days. I mean honestly? Who takes a vacation for that long?! He was even in my dreams, laughing at me as I chased him, his hands on a remote control, but he always seemed so far away. Usual I would be able to catch him in my dreams, save the world and have everyone finally thank me for my efforts… but now, he was able to get away and there was no way I could stop him. I jumped up suddenly awake on my bed sweaty and looked around in the dark, the only light coming from my computer screen as it had videos up from the spy cameras. I panted quickly and rubbed my eyes in fear… why was I thinking about him all the time? My normal obsession which I hadn't paid much attention to because he was normally around was now going completely out of control. Every thought I had, it was of his face, grinning with over exaggerated evilness. Maybe what people had been saying to me was true all along. I did have an unhealthy obsession… but everything would be okay, right?! Once he returned I could find out what he had been doing. _Oh come on Dib! How could you not see this before?!_ I thought frustrated to myself… I loved stalking Zim! I needed more distractions in my life. I mean, I could not be this freaking paralysed in my thoughts!

The day at school went by in dead silence in my head as everyone buzzed around me. Every time I heard something I flicked my head around, seeing if it was him but it wasn't. I was just becoming paranoid. When people walked by me I'd stare at them quickly, hoping it was Zim in one of his terrible human disguises but the students would just look at me confused. I smiled nervously and would glance back down to the ground… absorbed in the sound some more and then once again glaring up when I heard a spill or a shove.

"Dib, you are really freaking me out."

I turned seeing Gaz standing next to me with a half concerned face and I looked at her confused, smiling quickly.

"What do you mean by that?" I replied fidgety and she blinked barely.

"You're always squirming about and flinching at every sound you hear… seriously? Like what's your problem?"

"Gaz." I said in a dead grave voice "It's been thirteen DAYS. He hasn't come home in _thirteen_ days."

"Oh my God," she said annoyed "Is this about Zim? Oh wait a minute, it's you… it's always about Zim."

"It's not normal! How could he leave his base so unprotected?!" I shouted in a crazy voice "Doesn't he worry that the government can get their hands on it?!"

"Well have you called the government?"

"They banned my number…" I said sourly and she smiled meanly.

"Oh yeah."

"But fine! I'll explore his base tomorrow!" I screamed in annoyance, "It'll be Saturday!"

"Stop screaming or else I'll pound ya!" Gaz yelled back in a warning voice and I zipped my mouth, tapping the lunch table with my fingers impatiently with crazy waiting eyes.

Laying in my bed that night I was at last beating Zim as I had finally been able to catch him in my dreams and I started to strangle his skinny neck in pure rage.

"I knew I'd get you eventually!" I screamed at him and laughed like a maniac but Zim said back in a superior voice.

"What and kill the only thing that is keeping you sane?!"

"I don't need you to keep sane!" I shouted letting go of his throat and he laughed loudly pointing a finger at me from the ground where I was holding him.

"You need me! You need me!" he screamed roaring out in laughter and I covered my ears stumbling off him in terror.

"N-no! No I don't!"

"Face it Dib!" he said in a taunting voice, "With out me to spy on your life is pointless!"

"I have a life…" I whispered on the ground, staring at him and he just grinned darkly "I… have a life."

I woke up gasping for breath in my bed and flung around in desperation trying to get his face out of my mind. It was morning and when I glowered over to my digital clock I could see it was 10:30.

My eyes widened immensely and I jumped out of my bed, getting changed instantly, running out of the house and through the streets till I finally saw Zim's green house and stood at the entrance of the yard… breathing heavily with rage. I would go in and destroy it for he couldn't stop me! He wasn't home so he wouldn't care! I would go to his underground base and contact the tallest, telling them that there was no way they'd be able to take over the world! I started running to the door and for a moment forgetting my plan I knocked instead of bursting in.

I waited for a second, expecting Gir to answer it but when it opened there in front of me was a confused disguised Zim who said annoyed.

"Dib!"

"Z-z-z-zim!" I stuttered out in total disbelief. He stood there in real life, it wasn't a dream but rage built up in me from all those dreams I had had about him and before I could stop myself I lunged yelling "AHH!" tackling him to the ground.

"Ahh get off me!" he screamed shocked and before I could beat him up, I couldn't help myself but I hugged him as tight as was possible.

"Ahh look!" Gir's voice said in an adoring voice as he stood in the distance "They're making up!"

"What are you doing!" Zim gasped as he struggled from my life squeezing hug "Are you trying to strangle me?!"

"No, I'm hugging you!"

"_Hugging?!_" he said in pure disgust as he tried to push me off but I was too strong for him, "Why would you hug Zim unless… Unless you're placing a bomb ON ME!"

I just rolled my eyes and let go of him, realising it was a bit weird but I was just so happy to see him, which I thought was something I'd never feel.

As we sat there on the ground, he was gasping as he shook his outfit and quickly got on his feet. He yelled in a horrified voice "Get out of my house DIB!"

"Or what are you gonna do? Leave again!" I said sneakily and he looked at me in pure confusion.

"Why does it matter to you if I leave?"

"It… doesn't" I said starting out in a yell but lowering it nervously near the end. We looked at each other awkwardly and in that space of time I started thinking to myself… I had never noticed how soft Zim's skin felt, his Irken skin was warm and moist and almost felt… nice? When I was hugging him.

"GET OUT!" He screamed in fury and that snapped me back to reality "SECURITY!"

"Oh alright." I said disappointed that I had to leave so soon, but what else would happen? This was Zim after all and he probably wouldn't want to see _me_ out of all people.

I got off the ground and looked at him again just before I left, memorising his green face even though it was in disguise.

"Well…" I said walking backwards out the door so I could see him and he looked at me with both eyes low and hands on his hips "See ya."

"FUCK OFF!"

I shuddered as the door slammed shut behind me and sighed sadly… but a grin still crept up on my lips just so pleased to see him and I started walking home with my hands in my pants pockets whistling. But it suddenly dawned on me… I was happy… to see Zim? I was happy TO SEE _ZIM_. Had I betrayed my goal by actually being glad to see my arch enemy?

I hadn't actually ever focused on my obsession with him, that I needed him in my life so bad… but it seemed that if I had gone another day or two with out him coming home I might've actually… killed myself?

No! That was insane. I was not that obsessed… but when I got home I headed to my room without eating dinner that was laying on the counter for me and went to my computer screen to watch him in his house.

He was talking furious to Gir who was just running around in circles and his face was in heated rage.

"How dare that importune little human even touch the ALMIGHTY ZIM and show Human _Affection_!" he spat in pure disgust and my eyes were glued to the screen watching his every movement.

"It's not that weird." I said to myself confused and plopped my head on my hand looking at his face from different angles… that's what you did to someone you missed, you hugged them. I sighed and watched him get a small dust vacuum sucking up the dirt on his clothes and I laughed at his overreaction.

"Come on Gir. We must discuss what I learnt while on my 'Vacation'" he said to his robot who just shouted in response.

"YAY!"

I quickly switched to Gir's camera and watched the small robot follow Zim from behind. I leaned forward into the screen eclipsed in awe and curiosity as to what he was going to share. Even Zim's angry voice sounded good to my ears and I kept saying in my mind confused… why? Why hadn't I noticed before how enchanting it was? I blinked confused at myself… had I just thought Zim's voice was enchanting? Sure it was different to humans' voices but it had sort of a kind of metallic softness to it. I suppose all my times hating him I had never noticed.

"The humans I had studied around the world Gir are so queer." Zim said to his robot as they were sitting down in the lab and he was fiddling with some buttons "I watched them do ancient rituals, marriage, funerals… it was so odd!" he yelled in utter confusion but then seemed to calm down as he added "And yet… I wandered why if I died on this planet, would my own species come and put me in a coffin to send off into space…. Or would they leave me to rot?"

"Master I'd bury YOU!" Gir said happily and Zim pulled a sickened face.

"Be buried in the planet I had failed to conquer? That would be the worst humiliation for an Irken."

"Ohh…" Gir replied sadly.

"But Gir…" he added as if scared to say "It's as if I've come accustomed to life here. I _hate_ to say but it's like… IT'S LIKE… I'm relating more to these humans than to my own species…"

"You just need some WAFFLES!" Gir said in extreme happiness and pulled a plate of waffles out of his head.

"Gir."

"Yeeees?" he said expectantly and Zim seemed to put on a face as if remembering what happened last time.

"Fine. Give me some _waffles_." he hissed that word and I laughed at his despise of it. He was only doing it to make his robot happy and I found that… sorta cute.

But what he said before seemed to ring a bell inside of me… how he seems to be relating more to human emotions than Irken. If I dare say it, it felt like he had sadness…?

I looked at his sad face from Gir's camera and I almost felt sympathy for him… for I was also sad. I felt in myself I didn't belong in this world. Would my family really care if I died? Sure they'd bury me but would that be it? Would they grieve?

I'd talk to him at school on Monday. I'd try to convince him to change his mind on world destruction. But for the rest of the night, I just watched him through Gir's camera, thinking deeply of what was in his head.


	4. Chapter 4

yo What is up! I can't believe I updated so fast! Well lets just say I have a lot of spare time because of the easter holidays. Sorry there won't be any lemons yet but if you like the story then yay! Review! I'll try to update soon and let me just say I love writing as Dib :D---

* * *

**Chapter 4**

There was no dream in my head that night as I slept. I woke up startled by that fact. I always dreamt! And most importantly, always about Zim. I sat up in my bed stretching and yawning before licking my dry mouth and getting up, pulling on my clothes and heading downstairs. If anyone saw me they'd say I was over the moon and I was. Zim was back and things were for once back to normal again. I said in a bell like voice to Gaz as I saw her eating her cereal in the kitchen.

"Good morning lovely sister!"

She glared at me hearing this and quickly swooped her hand up to my t-shirt pulling me up to her face and hissed "Don't ever say that again."  
I smiled at her nervous before she slammed my head against the table and I fell to the ground, front first.

"Jeez Gaz…" I muttered annoyed and surprised, "Since when have you not been able to take a compliment?"

"Well I'm not going to take one from a dork like you anyway." she said with a pissed voice and munched hard on her cereal, paying no more attention to me as I got off the ground with aching bones.

"Well today's going to be a good day Gaz." I said getting happy again while I headed for the fridge and took out a cardboard carton of milk. I went to one of the cupboards and got out _Crunchy Os_ for myself getting a clean bowl from the rack and pouring them in, "I'm going to try to become friends with Zim."

Gaz seemed to almost choke on her food as milk streamed down from her mouth in harsh laughter, "You can't be real right?" she said in a cruel sneering voice "Zim and you have hated each other from the first day he started school!"

"Well, I know I have that against me…" I said thinking about the situation as it stood at present in front of me but added trying to be confident "But my plan is to befriend him and get him to change his mind on world destruction."

"And why…" she said in a dead not caring voice "Why do you think I need to know this?"

"Because I tell you all my plans…?" I replied unsurely as I sat down and started to eat my cereal. She got up straight away and put her bowl in the sink going and getting her bag for school. I didn't even think to look at the time but when I did it was ten to nine and my eyes widened fast realizing I hadn't much time until school started. I swallowed down my cereal fast, hurting my throat in the process from such large gulps and ran to my room, grabbing my heavy bag and sprinting out of the house skidding on the concrete as I ran to school in hurry. I just reached Gaz and slowed down a little, relaxing that I'd be on time.

"I can't believe I got up so late this morning." I said panting as we walked together and she wouldn't look me in the face, a dark shadow over her eyes.

"You did. Who cares."

"I suppose." I said warily and my eyes widened wide as I saw Zim go in front of us, just leaving his house, "hey Gaz," I whispered fast nudging her and she shuddered at my touch "I'm gonna go just a little ahead, kay?"

"Please just go."

I frowned but couldn't be put into a bad mood by her and jogged up to Zim who was walking in a stiff hateful way.

"Yo Zim."

"AHHH!" he yelled as he turned to see me beside him and I startled back by his high pitch.

"Calm down."

"What do you want DIB?" he asked in a wary questioning tone as he stopped to look at me suspiciously.

"Just to hang. D-do you want to hang today?" I asked with a nervous kind smile and he raised one eye carefully.

"And why would ZIM want to 'hang' with an inferior human like you?" he asked in a darting voice and I knew that there was no way he'd talk to me unless he had to. I had to come up with something fast.

"Well kids at school are kinda saying how it's not _normal_ that you don't hang with anyone at school"

"What?" he said quietly in confusion.

"They say that it's not human. They're getting… suspicious."

"Getting suspicious." he said to himself worried and then eyed me again "And why would _you_ want to help _me_ fit in?"

"Er… because they think it's weird that I hang with my sister." I said trying to think of something on the spot and I watched him carefully as he raised a finger to his green face, considering this offer very charily.

Gaz walked by us then and said in a mean voice "Weirdos."

"Zim is not a weirdo!" he shouted in the air in rage at hearing that and seemed to relate that to my offer as he looked back quickly at me with low eyes muttering "Fine… I will accept your offer to '_hang'_ DIB."

"Great!" I said with two thumbs up and he stared at me dartingly at my response.

"This does not mean I like you DIB." he said coldly and we could hear the bell ringing in the distance after he had spoken. Both our eyes widened surprised and we suddenly ran in a hurry the rest of the way to school. We rushed to our chairs that were on the opposite sides of the classroom like usual but I wondered to myself that maybe this would change now that a deal had been struck up.

Mr Twinky looked at us with a crossed face at our tardiness and said in his soft voice "Zim, Dib? Late I see?"

"Er, yes sir." I said quickly and he shook his head disappointed.

"One more tardy from either one of you and you have detention after school."

Oh come on! I thought annoyed at this, I was never late compared to Torque and he threatened me? I grumbled quietly to myself and got out my history book in stiff irritated movements slamming it on the desk. Mr. Twinky looked at me not impressed by this behaviour and I rolled my eyes, realizing that there was no reason for me to act like a drama queen. I smiled at him trying my best to be polite and opened my book up quietly but he just got back to his class not really caring anymore of any of my actions.

I thought to myself at how lucky I had been in convincing Zim to hang with me, I mean, after years of hatred he had accepted the offer quite easily and if it was for the being _noticeable_ that he didn't hang with anyone I'd say he might've accepted it because he was… lonely.

But could a cruel dictator like creature really be lonely that he'd want to hang with his arch enemy and it started to make me question, maybe our hate for each other wasn't nearly as deep as we had thought it was.

I looked across the room at him and he glanced back at me suspiciously. I smiled a little with one side of my mouth and he lowered his eyes heatedly, turning away. That made me sad that he didn't want to see a kind expression on my face because when ever I gave him a hateful glare he and I would stare at each other for the whole class trying to penetrate our souls to see which one of us would be able to make each other feel the other's detestation the worse. I sighed and looked up at Mr. Twinky again as he read from the history book in his soft woosy voice.

When the bell rang for lunch the whole class got up in a hurry and rushed out of the room bashing past each other in a mad riot. I watched Zim wait for the crazy students to have left with a disgusted face at their near cannibalistic attitudes to escape before he got up and walked out of the room with his usual march. I quickly caught up to him just after he had stepped through the doorway and said in a happy voice,

"Hi!"

"G_aH_!" He said in a surprised gasp as he caught his chest and looked at me with crossed eyes, "What is it DIB?"

"I thought we were gonna _hang_?" I said that word carefully and he looked at me confused before saying in a muttering voice.

"Oh yes…"

"Well I suppose first we should put our books away." I said in a nervous laugh and he raised one eye, lowering the other as of in an annoyed expression at my kindness.

"I think I've been in this jail for long enough to REALISE that." he said with superiority and instead of my old insulted face at his remark I just chuckled and he looked at me in disbelief at my response. He said quietly walking off to the lockers and me following him quickly "You are acting very _odd_, Dib."

Maybe I was, but I was just so glad to have him back in my life to give it substance again that maybe I was trying to make up for the last two weeks of his absence… and of course my plan, which I had forgotten I would have to incorporate into our friendship.

While we put away our books in our lockers Zim seemed to be looking to the ground a lot thinking to himself. I wondered immediately what was on his mind, maybe it was his next scheme… maybe his holiday was to find a way to put human rituals into his plan of destruction and I thought quickly I had to devoid him of this.

"So Zim, anything on your mind…?"

He stared at me aghast at that question "You expect me to tell you anything that goes on in my head?!"

"Well, if we're going to hang, we're going to have to talk about stuff… like what's on our mind." I said friendly with a nervous tinge to it and he blinked at me blankly.

"The only thing on MY mind DIB is that you keep on talking to me! Why?"

"So we're not so distinguishable from the crowd." I said hesitantly that he was so resistant to my friendship and knew I had to connect with him on his level more.

"And how do I know this IS NOT A TRICK?" he shouted in a demanding voice and I wondered really how a voice could still be so metallic and soft and yet nice to the ear.

"It's not…" I said desperate not to make him feel threatened and sighed thinking I'd have to go at this friendship from a different way to a humans "Okay, I won't ask any personal questions. Will that prove it's not a trick?"

He stared at me suspiciously before walking away and I hurried after him again as we headed to the cafeteria.

We got in queue for our lunch as we got our trays and slid them along the counter getting the grey stew and Zim seemed to be moving very fast as he was already over at his usual isolated table sitting down just as I was getting my stew. I walked quickly up to him and caught someone's gaze from across the room as Gaz stared at me in disbelief. I usual sat with her and she seemed determined to keep this up for she moved from our normal table over to Zim's, slamming her tray down and sitting opposite him.

"Gah?" Zim said in surprise seeing her and glared at me suspicious.

"Gaz, what's up?" I said to my sister tensely, pointing at Zim with my eyes to try to remind her of my plan and she just smirked.

"The sky." she said blankly and started playing her video game ignoring her food.

Zim looked at us two humans in suspicion before saying out loud to the whole cafeteria "Oh look at me with my TWO friends! Like normal humans!"

"Zim, you don't need to prove anything." I said kindly and he raised one eye wary at me.

"I know I don't have to prove anything to disgusting humans. You think I DON'T know that?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile and ate a forkful of my stew. He looked at me disgusted as I did and I knew it was because most human food was like poison to Irkens.

"So Dib, What do 'friends' talk about?"

I was about to answer but stopped in mid air… I… didn't know. I had never had friends before, only Gaz and I said with nervousness "Science, video games, work?"

"Oh yes, and have your species discovered instant transportation yet?"

"No… not yet, but my dad's working on it."

"Really now?" he asked interested at that and pulled out a notepad writing it in it as if to remember this.

I wanted to ask him something personal that I didn't know about him but what could it be that wouldn't be going too far.

"So what's your favourite colour?"

He stared at me suspicious and I said trying to be helpful "It's what friends know about each other."

"… Green…" he said cautiously and I smiled glad that he had told me. But felt to myself, duh, he was green and thought his species was the best life form in the universe.

"So what do you watch normally on TV?"

"I don't watch TV; it is only for Gir's amusement."

"Well I like to watch Mysterious Mysteries," I said eager to tell him "Now I know they have gone a little bad for ratings lately but some of their stuff is really fascinating."

"Mysterious Mysteries? Something for the _importune_ mind."

I frowned but remembered he knew no better so decided to teach the right way to interact "Friends don't insult each other Zim, they try to support each other on things and share common interests."

"Share…?" he said not understanding that word and I looked at him confused.

"Yeah share, you know, like if you didn't want all of your lunch you'd share it with me."

"You can have it all." he said quickly catching onto his chance and shoved his food in front of me and I smiled nervous.

"No thanks."

"I thought friends _shared_?" he said sneakily and added "Unless you are not Zim's friend?"

I couldn't make him think otherwise and took his food quickly, eating it down and he looked at me with a grin.

"See we are friends." I said but then added "But friends don't share _everything_."

"Fine, I don't CARE." he said looking off into nothing because he was sick at looking at me but I couldn't turn away from his face, he looked so different with this new deal. Usual when I saw him he was in fury but he just looked bored now and I liked a normal humanistic expression on him. But because of his alien air he was like a more magical creature than anything.

"Jeez Dib would you stop looking at him like he's a GOD?" Gaz said meanly and I turned quickly away from Zim annoyed at her for saying that.

"ZIM will be God, ruler of you ALL!" Zim yelled at the whole room and I chuckled at his speech. But somehow I knew Gaz saw more in my approach to him that even I did and she looked at me as I found it hard to look at my food and not him, with a wary face on her own.

The day was like a perfectly normal day to me, at last, as long as Zim was at school things seemed balance but even when I got home I didn't do my homework straight away like I normally did but landed on my chair of my computer and quickly clicked into Gir's spy camera seeing that he was watching 'Angry Monkey' and laughing his head off saying.

"LOOK AT HIM LAUGH!"

I turned on my other cameras around the house quickly and looked for Zim but he was no where to be seen. Where was ZIM?! How could he not be home yet! I leaned back suddenly, surprised at myself, so he wasn't home yet… he'd be home soon… I just had to wait. Why was I acting so impatient? I kept telling myself it was because I was making up for lost time but my eyes brightened up instantly as I saw in Gir's camera, Zim coming into the house and yelling "Gir! Why aren't you fixing the circuits like I asked?"

"Ohhh!" Gir said quickly giggling as he got off the ground and said happily "I forgot!"

"Oh well, do it later!" he said stiffly and sat down with a plop onto his couch "Gir… I need to talk."

"NOOO!" Gir screamed desperately "Don't talk! DON'T TALK!"

"Please Gir."

"Okay." he said suddenly changing his attitude and jumped on the couch sitting next to his tall master.

"You know DIB?"

"Of course I know DIB?"

"Yes well, he's helping me seem _normal_."

"Yeah!"

"But it doesn't make sense! Why does he want to help me! He's not seeking information. He says he wants to be fri_END_S?"

"Friends are good."

"Are they?" he said blankly taking the remote and changing the channel as the show ended "he says people think he's weird, so we should prove them wrong? WHY do I need to prove anything?!"

"You just need to be tickled!" Gir said chuckling as he started to tickle himself "Ha ha ha ha! HE HE HE HA! WHA HA HA HA!"

"GIR! pay attention! I want to _share_ stuff with you." he said that nervously and Gir stopped tickling himself to look at him. Zim wanted to share? I thought to myself, leaning forward into the screen intrigued, the only thing he had told me for the whole day was his favourite colour. If I was able to find out more about him I could use it to make a stronger friendship.

"Gir did I ever tell you that time… I invented that machine that made food from dust?"

"Nooo"

"Well I did just then, so there!" he said quickly in an angry voice but calmed down saying "Oh I remember how I wanted it to cure hunger in Irk but the tallest wouldn't accept it, they said I was too small to have invented anything useful… my efforts WERE futile…"

"Well you could use it to cure my hunger, Master!" Gir said happily and Zim did a bit of a smile. My eyes widened at his kind expression, another human feature and I would love it if he had given me such a kind gesture.

"Gir, that is a hunger that will never be cured."

"Aww!"

I chuckled at their bond, how they were so close and wished that Zim would tell these things or treat me this way. I blinked? But was it that strange to want to have a bond with him? YES DIB! It couldn't be… I'd have to make him have a bond with me if I was to change his mind.

And I looked off nervously from the screen; this was normal what I wanted. To have a bond, I'd been searching to have a friend for so long… I couldn't mess it up. And maybe he'd truly be my friend… one day… maybe he'd trust me… and even like me.

Huh? Somebody like me…?

What an impossibility…


	5. Chapter 5

Well here is the newest chapter! Enjoy and review! Yay! DIB! :D

* * *

**Chapter 5**

I tried everything to please Zim at school. At first he thought it was odd but I knew deep down in my mind that this was the only way I knew how to make friends. When I said I'd carry his books for him he just looked at me shocked and suspicious but after the first two times seemed to get accustomed to it and then became expectant of it. I didn't care as long as it made him trust me more. We talked about things at school like normal but I always felt he was holding back information from me. He'd tell me the basics about his life, going back as far as his landing on earth but never told me anything about his life on Irk. I yearned to know everything about him and when ever I'd prod him about his favourite past times or his parents Gaz would just stare at me with dark eyes, wondering why I had to know these things. But I did, I had to know everything, every ounce of his life from his first breath till his time here and whatever he didn't tell me at school I found out about by the cameras.

"Zim, do you believe in life after death?" I asked him one day a week into our friendship and he stared at me suspicious, but didn't seem nearly as much as a week ago.

"My… religion," he said trying not to sound odd "used to believe in heaven but not anymore… it is an inferior primitive feeling thinking you go somewhere after death."

"Oh not me," I said dreamily thinking about it but not realising I was only talking this way because I was around him "I've read all about angels and ghosts and as a paranormal investigator know that there must be something beyond what we see in the physical world… like, heaven is a place we go filled with loved ones." I felt nervous saying that and Gaz and Zim just stared at me as if disgusted by my view.

"Even LOVE is a primitive _thing_" Zim said hatefully and my heart hurt a little hearing that come so spitefully from his mouth "It's as if trying to connect you to something, like you don't have any control! My species got rid of such a thing long ago!"

I couldn't look at him when he said this, just turned my eyes to the ground and felt sadness come over me slowly… how could Zim feel that way? Surely he wouldn't condemn his life to live alone with out a partner… even I had hopes of finding someone one day. But maybe he was right. Maybe it did tie a person down. And I took his word, I'd agree with anything he'd say, his species was so much more advanced than mine. He was the omega, he knew all the secrets yet there was so much he was keeping from me. I had to know all his personality, his bad and his good for he had to have good, I'd seen it a little and if the small part seemed so powerful than all his goodness must be an explosion.

I sat at my computer watching him talk to Gir as he talked more and more about the things we discussed at school. He said in his metallic voice.

"Gir, I don't know why… but, I feel _different_."

"You probably need to poo!" Gir said unhelpfully and he stared at him sadly.

"No… I mean, I want to believe…. to believe in this _heaven_ but… it's so dangerous. WHAT is a loved one? It just doesn't make sense. Is it to torture one like I was taught? To hurt and kill one?! To make you submissive to the other persons will?!"

"Love is like a big stomach groan that goes round and round and makes you GO CRAZY!" his robot shouted screaming his head off and Zim sighed looking at him.

"If that's what it is I don't want it."

Maybe Zim was right again, if love made you submissive it must be bad, if it could make a creature as strong as him obey someone than it must be pain. I knew his words to be true, love must hurt! It must be bad. He knew everything, he knew what was right and wrong. I trusted him more than ever before, the more I knew about him the more I wanted to be around him, maybe this is what friendship felt like at last? The constant need to be around someone, to make them happy even if it made you sad. I ate his lunch for him, I carried his book and I nearly agreed with everything he said. And the thing about all of this was that I loved doing it. It made me feel so happy to bend to his every will. Like that was my purpose all along. And surely he trusted me now to take in my words, to change his mind. Hadn't I proved myself to him? Hadn't I done enough?

I watched him on the screen until my eyes grew heavy and his face was the last thing I saw before everything grew dark, his voice the last thing I heard before I was put in the silence of my mind.

Everything seemed so sensitive as I felt myself touch something soft and moist. All I could see was a blur of green that enveloped my body, pushing itself against me and kissing my lips. I could taste berries of all different kinds as my lips moved against this creature's so slipping in their wetness and my tongue curled and twisted around it's so eagerly. Our lips pushed hard together locking so tightly and sliding past each other in passion. My face felt hot and my body wanted to exert itself completely, knowing that we were both naked and I pushed myself into it, hearing it gasp weakly as it said in a metallic voice, "I-I love you D-dib…"

I opened my eyes barely, looking into the face of the alien and smiled so deeply as I whispered too "I love you Z-zim." before coming down hard on his lips with such force that I felt an explosion and jumped awake in my chair. I gasped looking about scared in the dim light before noticing it was early morning and got up slowly from my chair but felt very stiff in the pants and looked down to it seeing my cock was poked right up and I squealed in pain, undoing my pants and rubbing it hard, trying to get rid of the erection. I gasped as my hands felt so cold on it not like the warmth it had felt in the dream and soon it was gone but I went to the bathroom to wash my hands off in disgust. I had never gotten one before in my sleep and I started to recall the dream, trying to remember the face I saw just before I woke up and g-g-g-gasp…. it was Zim.

I had dreamt about him and it had been so… so beautiful, like all my happiness was centred and I was connected with the one I was meant to be with. But I shook scared, looking at myself in the mirror as I saw my pale face… it couldn't be. I- NO! It'd ruin everything, I couldn't be… b-but I was.

I was in love with Zim.

I wanted him so badly, all this time, like I had never wanted any creature in the world and it scared me so much. I wanted to feel his lips pushing against mine and wanted to feel his insides so desperately. I looked at myself horrified. I had feelings for an alien… I had feelings for the only friend I had ever had. How could this be happening to me?! How could I not see this before? I couldn't go to school today and look at him in the face after the dream I had had. But I knew I couldn't keep myself away from there… I had to be near him. I needed him so bad. Even if I tried something he would never respond. He found me disgusting… I was a human. A creature he despised. I felt like crying desperate at the scenario I was in. I was shaking all over just imagining how soft he'd feel, our lips touching ever so gently. No! It couldn't happen! It couldn't be true! I DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM! I fell to the ground, shivering in pain at these crucifying emotions in me… I had never felt a crush this deep… so much that when I thought of him again my heart sped up in a frenzy and I held my chest scared. I had to go, I had to treat him like I always did, even if I was being tortured inside.

I looked at my watch to see it was eight and slowly got off the ground, heading to my room in wariness to get changed into some clean clothes. I found myself going downstairs to the kitchen to see Gaz reading a comic book in the Lange room and sat next to her with a blank worried face on me.

She glanced at me barely but then smirked going back to her comic. I stared into thin air my eyes just going over the images I had had in my dream and the longing I felt so greatly.

"You look flushed."  
I blinked, looking at her slowly as she still had her head in the book and I muttered back in fear.

"I-I know…"

"What time did you go to sleep last night?"

"I don't know."

"Probably glued to that computer… dork." she muttered meanly and I put my hands on my face covering my eyes in pain. She looked at me confused as she heard me whimper and sneered, getting off the couch and going to the kitchen to have breakfast. I just sat there… alone with no one in the world to help me… alone.

I swallowed hard and got weakly up going and getting breakfast as well. I ate my cereal in silence and afterwards got my bag, waiting at the door in a still stance for Gaz for I really didn't want to be by myself.

She came up to me after ten minutes with her bag and opened the door ignoring me but I followed in dead steps.

"You probably want to walk with your boyfriend?" she said harshly to me as I walked behind and my heart froze in fear from that word.

"H-his not my boyfriend."

"Dib, I know." she muttered in a lifeless voice and I blinked up at her confused.

"Know what?"

"I see the way you… look… at him." she said and turned her head to me with low eyes, "So don't try to deny it."

"Gaz… I-I don't like him that way." I lied in a shaky voice and she smirked looking straight again and put her hands in her pockets.

"Whatever."

I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down my face as I thought of him. How could I have not seen this…? All these years it was not hate, but love. I had loved him for so long, yearning for his voice.

"Speak of the devil." Gaz said blankly and I opened my eyes slowly seeing Zim up ahead waiting for us in front of his house.

"_Zim_," I whispered his beautiful name and shuddered as we came to him. He looked bored and impatient and said to me as he started to walk with us.

"Dib, HOW is _your_ day?"

I looked at me confused, he never asked me how my day was before and I replied barely.

"Fine."

"Me and Gir watched Mysterious Mysteries yesterday and I wondered what you find so _fascinating_ about this show?"

"Err… the mysterious mysteries part."

"Ha HA HA HA!" he laughed and I smiled not understanding why he'd laugh at such a stupid joke "I suppose THAT is one reason. But it occurred to me that some of the stuff is fake!"

"Well I know that some of the stuff is fake…" I said in barely heard words as I tried not to look at his green face "But some of it is also true."

"Yes… maybe."

"How was your day?"

"I fixed a new invention I made that dissects dead bodies so I can… study, the anatomy of humans."

"And where would you get these dead bodies?"

"Graveyard." he replied quite bluntly as if it was obvious and I glanced at him seeing that he was smiling and my heart fluttered at the expression.

"You seem distracted Dib. Why?" he asked suspicious and I froze up inside at how he could notice my different actions around him.

"It's just so good to see you." I said quietly and my face went a bit red in nervousness.

"Good to see me?" He said surprised, "Why?"

"Because, you're my friend." I said shyly and he raised an eye still feeling like something was different.

"Well seeing as we are 'friends'" he said in a straight voice "Why don't you sit beside me today."

I gulped in horror as soon as I heard that offer "But-what-_why_?"

"I've come to notice that you humans talk to each other during times when the teacher is not saying anything and it would make me appear more human if I was talking too."

"Of course Zim." I said quickly and my heart pounded desperate to touch him. He wanted to talk to me in class? After all the years sitting opposite each other we were going to be sitting together… he hated everyone and now he wanted to sit next to me, "It's great."

"YES IT IS!" he shouted and then looked at me confused, I stiffened "Dib, you've gone completely red."

"Yeah-what?" I said gasping that he had noticed this.

"Your cheeks look like they are burning."

"It's nothing! Just an allergic reaction."

"To what?" he asked curious and I sweated a little nervous… why did I have to lie, I only wanted to tell him the truth and for him to love me but I said quickly.

"To… the sun. I'm fare skinned."

"How strange." he said cautiously and went into the school as we had reached it. I followed behind him fidgety and when coming into the class was about to go to my normal seat but remembered what he said when I saw his confused look and hurried to the seat behind him, I couldn't bear to sit at the side to him for he'd see me staring at him for most the day. I breathed out uncertainly as Mr. Twinkie looked at the class and said in his soft voice,

"Alright everyone turn to page fifty one in history."

Everyone turned lazily to their page and I tried to pay attention to the class but couldn't keep my eyes off Zim's back. He was so slender and smooth and my eyes looked at him longingly. Want just to slide my finger down his arm and the slip them between his fingers. I swallowed hard at the thought and tried to listen to Mr. Twinkie but every word he said my mind would just translate it into Zim, Zim, Zim…

I sighed in desperation and buried my head into my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Something the matter Dib?"

I looked up with a drained face as Mr. Twinkie was looking at me confused and I said wiping my face weakly, "No sir…"

"He's crying!" someone whispered to another and they all giggled quietly but Zim turned around in his chair to look at me completely bewildered by my strange behaviour.

"Do you want some time outside?" the teacher asked concerned and I shook my head fast.

"No."

"Okay then." he said and got back to teaching and I saw a note drop in front of me as Zim had placed it there before turning around and I opened it quickly seeing it say, _What is wrong with you?! _I sighed sadly and looked at his turned back with pleading eyes… If only I could say.

When lunch time came I got off my chair quietly and followed him out of the room in sadness. Zim really seemed confused at the way I was acting but didn't say anything as I carried his books out to his locker and he put them away in silence.

"So, doing anything tonight?" I asked barely and he looked at me in anger, suddenly slamming his last book onto the ground and I startled back confused.

"Okay DIB! What is wrong with you!"

"What do you mean?" I asked worried going red and he glared at me suddenly pushing me against the lockers and I stared at him terrified that he was so close.

"Listen here, Zim does not want to be friends with an emotional human! It brings down my momentum!"

"You're right…" I stuttered scared as his face was so close to mine and I leaned unconsciously closer to his, looking at his lips greatly "I didn't mean to annoy you… I shouldn't have been so… inconsiderate."

He lowered his eyes warily and let go of his grip on me but I suddenly fell forward hugging him and he gasped in horror.

"You hug me again?!"

"I'm just so sorry…" I said holding his body close and he, not knowing what to do hugged me back. My heart galloped and I leaned back to see his face, my arms still wrapped around him ever so tightly.

"It's fine…" he said slowly looking at my wet eyes as if trying to understand something and with out my control I started to move my head gradually forward in lust, my lips parting slightly but he pulled his face back in surprise and let go of me, stumbling back and repeated "What… was that?"

I was silent and stepped back saying in fear "I'm so sorry… Zim… I," but I ran with all my might before I finished that sentence out of the school and I could feel his eyes watching me all the while. I finally panted, pressing myself up against a building's side, breathing heavy at what I had nearly done. This was insane! How could I have just nearly ruined everything by trying to kiss him?! Why was I such a fool and I cried in roars as tears streamed down my face, I was gay… and I would've accepted that but it was for my only friend! I couldn't go back there and look him in the face, I'd drop out of school or something. I was just being irrational but I couldn't think straight at the time and I knew I'd have to face him again and explain. Maybe the dream meant nothing, I thought to myself quickly as I sunk to the concrete ground in panic and I knew that was a lie because even thinking about being that close to him was giving me butterflies in my stomach. I sighed longingly for his touch, for our lips to meet and I hit myself in a face yelling,

"Stop it! IT CAN'T HAPPEN! He wouldn't accept you! No body would!"

I cried again, my tears drenching my blue t-shirt and I sat there in whimpers knowing that I couldn't go back to school today… I'd just have to skip it. I was usual so brave, but I wasn't a man… just a scared confused

Boy.

Alone and in pain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Zim**

What was wrong with that human? He was seriously acting weird today. I stood at my locker in utter confusion at why Dib had run off… was he ashamed that he hugged me? Why would anyone be ashamed at hugging Zim? Humans would spawn around me to be near my ever present air of greatness and yet he had just shot for the door in tears. I rolled on my heals bored not sure what to do, to wait or just leave but decided I should go after five minutes, he'd probably show up later on. After all we were in high school and we were allowed to leave the building at lunch. God, I was bored as I went to the cafeteria to get lunch and sat down on the table, the opposite side to Gaz for she was reading a comic and I said in a loud voice with a questioning manner to it,

"What is UP with your _brother_? He just ran out of the room… wait!" I said thinking of something suddenly and reached my hand around my back making sure there wasn't a bomb. I breathed out relieved and darted my eyes back at the girl waiting for my question to be answered but she was still stuck into her book, "Ah hmm…" I said impatient and tore the book away from her but she growled with raging eyes and I glared back waiting, "Well…"

"God, Zim, You're so blind!" she said meanly and annoyed at me and I leaned back confused by this.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked quickly and she rolled her eyes.

"Look I may not be that close to my brother but I'm not going to ruin his only 'friendship' by telling you what the matter with him is."

"Tell me! He's… he's not on his… period, is he?"

"I still don't know how you pass as a human." she said blankly and suddenly grabbed her book back, giving me warning eyes not to tick her off again.

"Well why wouldn't he tell ZIM? I thought I was his friend?"

"Duh, that's why!" she said sarcastic and I hissed at her annoyed at her attitude. This was truly odd, he was keeping secrets from me? I thought that these human friendships meant telling each other hidden stuff… or had I gotten that wrong? Well it didn't matter, I'd talk to him in class when he came back… but for now, God, I had to hang with his ever so lifeless sister. I blinked barely looking over at her and sighing leaning my head into my hand and looking off bored.

"So… what have you been doing lately?"

"Shooting puppies."

"YOU PSYCHO!" I screamed shocked and she didn't even look up at me. Shooting puppies… what kind of sick person would do that, drowning them was fine but actually seeing their face when you had the gun up against their head… God, and I thought I was evil. I looked at her in utter disgust and she rolled her eyes, staring at me deadly.

"You are so dumb… what can he see in you…"

"I'm dumb? I'M DUMB? I'm from a superior species that have invented time travel and artificial intelligence!"

"Then maybe you should go back in time and make sure you never come here, a lot of people would be much happier."

"That's not true." I said stubbornly at her, she thought she knew everything but I knew Dib's life would've been nothing if I hadn't come, and in a way… my life would've been nothing with out him trying to catch me… it gave me adventure, but now he was my friend… and it felt, weird. It wasn't like the same friendship I shared with Gir where he'd just say gibberish in response to my questions but Dib was actually an intelligent being. If only he had a way to make people listen to him. If he wasn't such a loner he could've probably convinced people I was an alien five years ago and gotten me captured. But now, he was either trying a new way of capturing me by pretending to be my friend… or bizarrely, really wanted to be my friend. And I found this odd at first, like it was a trap but he had kept his part of the deal and had not asked anything about future evil plans or my life on Irk. He still didn't know how my species even continued or that I was unisex, having both male and female parts in me. They were useless now anyway, we the Irkens had once been able to carry offspring but because of chemicals in our food we had become sterile as a race and the only way to continue was to grow baby Irkens in tubes. I still wondered to myself what it would've been like to be loved by something… but mating became pointless for the children that kept two Irkens together were no longer factors and so as a race we became ruthless in conquering, maybe to give us another point of existence.

I glimpsed to the side of me slowly as I came out of my thought and looked around confused. Time seemed to be dragging by without Dib around and that really frustrated me. I wanted to talk about things like… ICECREAM and why humans liked it so much if it burnt your throat while going down, or what he had been doing lately in regards to hobby wise. I pouted and glanced at Gaz jadedly as she was no amusement at all. At least Dib tried to make me laugh and always talked only about the stuff I was interested in.

"Almighty God! Doesn't anyone have anything to say!" I shouted to the whole room and no one paid attention to me like usual "I will smite you all!" I screamed frustrated and finally the bell went and I got up pushing people out of my way as I headed to the classroom expecting to see Dib sitting at the desk behind mine but he was not there. God, the nerve of him trying to avoid me! Had I done something wrong? And thought to myself in an odd instance that maybe… I had…?

No that couldn't be true, I had treated him the way I always did… so what was wrong with him? I thought about it as I sat down and watched slowly as the classroom got filled with filthy humans. I grated my fingers against my wooden desk in anger… ignoring me? How could he ignore me! I thought we were friends… maybe I thought wrong? No what was I saying, I'd have to hear from him to believe that he had ended our brief friendship and oh ho ho, wouldn't I talk to him soon.

I waited impatiently for the rest of the day to end, tapping my three fingers against the desk and glancing up at the clock every five minutes to see the time. Time was such a weird thing for earth… it usually seemed so much shorter to humans than Irkens. For instance, we Irkens never pay attention to time because our bodies don't age, only our minds. So an Irken that is four hundred years old will still look like only a teenager but his brain would be slowing down and soon would just die from exhaustion. The longest living Irk I knew was Pin, she was fifteen hundred years old by the time she died and me only being one hundred years old still had a lot of time left before my final breadth. I rivalled at this, knowing that no human would live long enough to destroy me but something seemed to budge me from the inside. Dib would probably die in seventies years or so and I'd still have a millennium or more until my old age killed me… it was sort of sad in a way… for him. Not for me, for I couldn't really care if Dib lived even only ten more years… again I felt a nudge and realised it was my heart. When ever I thought about Dib dead it bet hard in my chest and I found this very odd. Sure why should I care if Dib died… just because he was my only 'friend'. My heart beat at every hateful word I thought and I felt confused at this… what was it trying to tell me? That I cared for _DIB_?

BRIIIIIIING!

I jumped as the bell just went and I got up from my desk quickly, heading for my locker and getting my books. This really couldn't be, I didn't care about anyone… as young I had been taught everything is a liability so you must discard this if you are to be great. But it was okay to have a friend, and to care for that friend surely?

I shrugged unsure of everything and went on my way out of the school, walking in my superior march along the footpath till I reached my glorious house and came inside seeing Gir watching a commercial for cheese. His mouth was drooling wildly and I grunted saying.

"And I suppose you want me to get that for you?"

"I WANT CHEESE!" he screamed suddenly spinning his head around madly and I sighed adding.

"It's in the fridge already, you SAW the same add yesterday and got me to buy it!"

"Ohhhh hoo hoo!" he cooed excitedly and jumped off the couch running to the fridge, picked it up and then devouring nearly every content in it, not even looking for the cheese.

"Great! Well you can go shopping if you get hungry then!" I said furious at him but he was just rubbing his belly with a dream like smile as he said coming back in.

"That was great."

"Did you hear me Gir?"

"Ah Nooo!" he replied before jumping on the couch again and watching the television with blank blue eyes.

"God Gir, sometimes I wonder why the Almighty tallest gave me you? You're meant to be superior but you just seem inferior."

"Master rhymed! Master RHYMED!"

"Oy…" I muttered stretching my hand down my face in self pity and suddenly picked up something making a weird winding sound behind one of the cupboards. I followed it cautiously and noticed a lense just at the corner. I pulled at it confused and a small camera which it was part of fell out and landed on the ground in front of me.

"WHAT is this?!" I shouted furious and picked it up turning it around a few times and spotted some writing at the back which said _property of professor Membrane. _ My eyes widened shocked and I started to boil inside as I thought of DIB and how he had pretended to be MY friend but had been secretly filming me and probably had proof of me not in my disguise! HOW COULD HE! How could HE! I never pretended to be his friend. An Irken would never make such a lie… sure there was Kief… BUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT!

I turned psychotically to Gir and said in as calm of a voice that I could.

"Gir I am going out… okay?"

"You gonna kill him aren't you?" he said back with a smile and I nodded very slowly. He giggled clapping his metallic hands evilly as I stormed outside the house and began walking with pure hatred in the direction of Dib's house. He was going to pay, I was going to beat him to death and then maybe experiment on him! He will rule the day he ever lied to ZIM, he would rule the day…

I spotted his house in the distance and my eyes slit deadly. I walked up his footpath to the entrance of the door and used my spider legs to blow it open with a laser beam. I walked inside and saw Gaz in the Lange room playing a game. I glared at her but she didn't seem to notice the smoke coming from the bits of dead wood on the floor and I turned my head viciously to Dib's staircase, walking up it in stamps.

"Diiib?" I said mechanically in a high voice as I saw his bedroom door in front of me and I smiled darkly reaching the second floor and knocking on it with wide eyes "It's Zim… want to play?"

I could hear whimpering behind it and realised that he must've seen me through the camera discovering his little spying secret. I turned the knob but it was locked.

"You better OPEN this door Dib." I said in a calm high voice and I heard him blubbering saying.

"I-I'm so sorry Zim!"

I grinned malevolently and got one of my spider claws out, unscrewing his bolts in his door. I could hear scampering on the other side and the door collapsed hard into his room. I saw Dib there, his clothes torn, sweating and pale, on his bed shivering and he said to me in a whimpering voice.

"Zim, it's not how it looks."

"No? REALLY? So you were not spying on me for lets say A WEEK, and weren't going to send those videos off to the government?"

"No Zim! I wasn't!" he gaped and his arms flung forward as he grasped the side of the bed looking at me desperately "I just wanted to see you, THE REAL YOU!"

"And what is the real me?"

"You're kind and sweet." I snuffed at that shocked that he was saying such terrible things about me, "You're PERFECT!"

"Perfect way for you to get awarded for your find!"

"That's not it!" he screamed in pain and jumped off his bed coming closer to me with needy eyes "I would never turn you in."

"And why now?! Hmm?" I said quickly in a sharp voice "Why would you want to be my friend now? If it wasn't a sinister PLAN!"

"Because…" he said and gulped in fear, I looked at him demanding to know his intentions "Because."

"Because you wanted me gone."

"NO!" he cried and grabbed his face, scratching at his eyes in agony "Because!"

"I've had enough of this…" I hissed tired of his hopeless excuse and got out my spider legs, my lasers pointing at him and getting ready to fire.

He stared at me then with wide eyes and whispered, "I love you…"

I didn't hear and the beam started to build up in the metal ends.

He then glared straight into my eyes with all his soul and said in a loud authority voice "I LOVE YOU."

I had already began shooting but stumbled hearing that and my laser went all around the room madly. I immediately put it away and tripped back on my feet staring at him in disbelieving eyes as I said in a bare gasp, "What…?"

"I love you Zim." He said in a still voice and I could see that he was hiding panic in his eyes.

"You lie." I mumbled and he shook his head. I quickly got up and walked backwards hastily out of the room but he was walking towards me and before I knew it I had missed a step and fell down the stairs. His eyes went wide in worry as he ran down the stairs after me and I got up panicky running to the door but he shouted in a lightning fast voice.

"Security, block off front door!"

A metal door suddenly fell down over the exit and I pressed up against it terrified as he walked towards me and said in a calm voice.

"Zim, we need to talk."

"N-No, we don't!" I squeaked hastily and he suddenly pressed my shoulders up against the metal with his firm hands to stop me from running as he said quickly.

"I've always loved you… it's just taking me so long to see it! And I know that somewhere down in you, YOU LOVE ME TOO."

"I don't feel such p-pitiful emotions." I stuttered scared and his eyes dimmed down as if thinking of a way to get through to me. He then looked up and muttered in a desperate voice.

"Well, maybe if I do this!"

And pushed his lips hard against mine. I squealed, not knowing what to do. I was for once in my life totally terrified and pulled his hair but he only grabbed my hands and held them against the metal. I could feel his tongue violate my mouth and his lips merging with mine and if I wasn't so scared I would've sworn I'd felt pleasure but no! I DID NOT WANT TO FEEL pleasure and I drew out my spider legs, wrapping them around his waist for he didn't seem to notice and pulled him away, our lips separating in a popping wet sound. He stared at me with happy lustful eyes and I glared at him, wiping my lips with my sleeve from his saliva that was on me and felt very hot inside as if I was boiling.

"Well Dib…" I said barely as I held him back and he didn't fight only looked at me with eyes of temptation "Our friendship is effectively over."

"I don't want a friendship anymore." he said back quickly and said with a grin "I want a relationship."

"Oh my God, GAYS!" Gaz yelled from the Lange room and I stared at him with low disbelieving eyes at his nerve.

"The closest you ever got was a friendship and now you don't even have that!" I said back trying to be calm but my heart was panting crazily and I wondered why, at Dib's touch it had sent me into a frenzy and I hated that! While I was thinking to myself at my own self disgust he slipped out of the hold and jumped forward at me, swinging his arms around me and I stiffened even more shocked as he whispered almost afraid but not really willing to give up.

"Please Zim… just give us a chance?"

He sounded nearly desperate again and I was breathing hard as I felt his chest beat against mine and I said trying not to sound any higher than I was.

"Why?" I asked in disillusion and he whispered into my ear ever so quietly.

"Please."

I froze as he kissed my green cheek softly and felt the heat again… but it was crazy getting into a relationship with him… how could it work… yes we had so many things in common and loved talking to each other and he was the only person who seemed to get me and want to make me happy. BUT it was not in my nature! It couldn't be! I was scared at the silence I was making as I thought, and what he would be thinking. I was scared of so many things and it was because of him. But now that I knew how he felt… it seemed to draw out an old primitive emotion in me. Like what my ancestors must have felt so long ago… and maybe I was desperate for love… I had never felt it and maybe it wasn't so tortured as I was taught if it made Dib nearly risk his life to try and get it in return from me…

I started to breathe quickly, my heart galloping as I said in my high voice.

"I'll try it out."

He pulled his head back, leaning his forehead against mine and I panicked a little as he said with a raising smile.

"Really?"

"I-I-I. _YES_."

"You won't regret it." he said in a speedy voice and I stared at him not sure whether to believe him or not.

"We'll see." I replied still stiff and he moved his lips forward to press them against mine again but I grabbed him with my spider legs, pulling him back and said warningly "I think I need some time to think."

But I felt desperation in me suddenly as if my body wanted his against mine and I said a little twitchy "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay…" he said with a small smile and said nervously as I let go of him "Security reset."

The metal door lifted suddenly and I walked out of the house staring at him all the while before I reached the pavement and turned to walk on it, my spine tingling and I muttered to myself as if in pity.

"ZIM… you are pathetic…"

And I was, I was going back on my species, on what they had abandoned. I knew if I gave myself to him… I would be an outcast from the Irkens. I knew it… but it would still be near impossible for me to prevent it. Now that I knew it made me feel this warmth inside.

…God dammit…

* * *

Well that was chapter six and things from Zim's point of view. Hope you liked it and review! Yays, Zim!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Dib**

I stood there breathing heavily… it had happened. I felt like I was beaming inside at everything I had experienced only moments ago and tried to remember what it had felt like a minute ago, holding him so tightly in my arms, his body pressed against mine and I squeezed my face in bashfulness at the very thought. I can't believe I had done it. It was so amazing and I only looked so incredibly forward to tomorrow where I would see him and imagined the closeness again, me blushing madly. What was wrong with me? NOTHING! It was all just so GREAT!

"Hello Gaz!" I said as I jumped on the space on the couch beside her and she only stared at me with a growl.

"Dib, listen to me carefully." she said hatefully "I have _no_ problem with you being _gay_ but I should not have to listen to _you_ two making out." and she grabbed my collar pulling my face up to hers in fury "Got it?"

"Yes." I said with a red flushed face and smiled goofily at that word… ha, ha, gay… but it actually felt right. She lowered her eyebrows frowning and letting go of my collar, I sat back down soaking into the couch in relaxation and thought of all the things that were going on. How, how it had all happened. I could've swore I thought he was going to kill me if I hadn't said it and now I was so glad that I had.

"Gaz, I can't believe my life could get any more perfect." I said in a gasp and she stared at me blankly.

"Don't get me wrong Dib." she said in a dead voice "But didn't he say he needed sometime to think?"

I froze… I hadn't remembered that part, everything had kind of gone blurry once he had said yes. B-b-but he wouldn't change his mind, he surely wanted this, when I touched him, oh, it felt like I was stuck on him. His skin was so soft and elastic, so warm and moist. God he was like perfect. I THOUGHT ZIM WAS PERFECT. All my life… but what if I couldn't have him? Could I handle it, i-it couldn't happen, how could Gaz remind me of that? I felt my sight go a bit blurry as my eyes became watery and I shook the tears from my face angrily.

"He wouldn't end it before it even starts." I said quietly and she looked at me bluntly.

"Well you guys have been enemies for five years, and suddenly you're lovers… wouldn't it be weird?"

"I… don't know." I muttered trying to hide my pain at what she was saying and just clenched my eyes yelling "It has to work!"

"Whatever." she grunted and added "just don't count your eggs before they hatch."

I stared at her in pure grief at all she was saying and bit my lip in fear and anxiety, "What if Zim does change his mind… what if I never get to talk to him again?"

"Why do you talk to yourself?"

I looked at her hearing her mumble this and I got up in anger, walking away in hard steps and heading upstairs to my room. I had no door to close for it was laying on the ground so I walked over it and lay on my bed, my eyes watering up in worry… how could the happiest day of my life suddenly turn into the worse. Of waiting to see what would happen. The pure pressure of tomorrow and its outcome was haunting me and I could feel myself sweating as I lay. A cold sweat. I felt I was torturing myself, it actually hurt laying there and thinking, but that's all I could do… I was in so much unbearable pain, I squinted about in my bed in desperation as I knew that maybe those suicidal thoughts I was thinking earlier today were prevailing me again. I needed him, I thought crying. AND IF HE DIDN'T NEED ME… THAN I… couldn't go on. IT WAS TOO _HARD_! Why was I feeling so distressed, fearful and alone and I grabbed my knees, rocking myself back and forth in fear as tears drained down my face and the darkness, oh it felt so dark… prelude me. There was a razor in my bathroom and I felt it stare at me through the walls. Calling me. I wept as I got up and walked in angst to it, closing the door and pressing it hard against my wrist. I felt no pain as blood drew out of the slit I had made and I looked at it. I needed something to take my mind off of Zim for at least tonight and this cleared my mind. I made a few more cuts and felt stinging in my arm, squinting my eyes at the sight of the slits but it felt justified… I needed ease, and I needed to wait. I stopped after the fifth cut and looked at my blood drained arm. Everything would be alright… and at least now, I-I knew how to feel safe… maybe tomorrow, even if things did go wrong, I would be able to calm myself, as long as I used this method.

I smiled barely in peace but fear still tingled and I took a deep breadth, going back to my room and going to sleep. Even though it was only six thirty, I couldn't stay conscious unless there was some conclusion to come so I had to sleep. And wait, for tomorrow… f-for the result. I could only, w-wait.

I opened my eyes in a gasp, light was coming in from my glass window and magnifying on my spec lenses. I breathed in slowly as I lay there and touch my left arm with my right hand's fingers gently, feeling the wounds ache at my feel. I sighed out and sat up on my bed. Well today was the day of everything. He'd have to tell me today, he couldn't not tell, I had to know! I stilled my breathing slowly as I got excited and got dressed into some new clothes quickly. I hurried to the bathroom and gelled up my hair to make it look cool for when he saw me. My eyes hurt but that would go away the more I woke up and I went downstairs, looking up at the clock seeing it was eight thirty. Gaz was eating breakfast and I took a gasp in bravery preparing myself for what ever would come to me today.

"Hey sis," I said happily and she darted her eyes at me annoyed, "Everything's great isn't it?"

"You look terrible." she grumbled staring at my pail face and I laughed trying not to show my worry.

"Well as long as Zim doesn't notice. It's. Fine."

"God." she groaned and rolled her yellow eyes fed up with all my talk. That kind of upset me but I shook it off quickly, eating down my cereal and brushing my teeth one more time before we headed off to school. I felt scared inside at when I'd see Zim. I felt scared at everything. But it would be okay. It… would.

When we passed his house he was not there waiting for us and I froze a little at this revelation. Oh please Zim, I begged in myself desperately, please be at school today!

I slowed down a little as I walked by his green house to see in his windows but the curtains were closed and my heart sunk a little in pain.

"Gaz," I said fearful catching up to her by doing a little jog "D-do you think, he'll show today?"

"How would I know…" she said in barely audible words and I gave her a pleading face. She sighed "I don't know Dib. Probably…I guess."

"Okay," I whispered and saw the school coming up quickly, my body choking up inside with anxiety. It'll be alright, it'll be alright, it'll be alright…. I kept telling myself this in hurried words as I stepped inside the run down building and went to my class. As I pushed the door opened I saw Mr. Twinky standing up and talking to the class and my eyes quickly dashed to Zim's desk. I froze.

He was there watching the teacher with bored out of his brain eyes but darted them onto me in an instant, looking me straight in the eye with intensity before eyeing down to his desk as if not baring to see me any longer. I didn't care, HE WAS HERE! And I slowly went to the desk behind him, my heart beating in an out of control manner. Mr Twinky carried on talking as if not noticing anything important and his soft voice dulled on into the room.

"And so you see, if the Romans had really been so advanced then half of their population wouldn't have died of lead poisoning…"

I stared at Zim's back breathing heavily and I knew he could sense my lust for him, my love to be around him and how his very scent made me go into heaven. The side of his eye glanced back at me slightly as if nervous, before he blinked and eyed back at the teacher. I scraped my fingernails along my desk in agony at how we couldn't resolve this so he could tell me that he did want to be with me forever and that we needed each other to live. Life was pointless otherwise.

I waited for the lunch bell. It was taking forever and I had to hear it. Every second seemed like a dart to my heart! The clock ticked _soooo_ slowly and I felt like crying inside if it didn't hurry up and ring. Zim wouldn't glance back at me, it made me feel not worthy… that I wasn't beautiful to him or that I didn't have his unbelievable skin. It wouldn't be so hard if I was just an Irken. Why did I have to be born a human? All these thoughts were running through my mind in an uncontrollable hurry. EVERY SECOND TICK TOCKING.

Briiiiiinng!

I froze at the sound of the bell and darted my eyes up to Zim as he got up from his chair and stood tensely in front of me, as if waiting in a cloud of anxiety himself. I jumped from my seat lightning fast, but blushed madly as he looked at me with wide eyes before walking off and I walked behind him like I had done in the last week… like we were just friends and oh so much how I wanted to relinquish that. For I knew that if he didn't want the relationship as boyfriends… he wouldn't want one now as friends either.

He reached his locker and silently changed his books, putting some away and taking some out. I looked at him with vein eyes at how he wasn't saying anything and I said scared.

"So Zim… what have you decided?"

He froze hearing my voice and lowered his eyes looking at me and twitching his mouth in alarm.

"Oh yes, that."

"Yes that." I repeated back trying to keep my voice calm and he glanced about as if trying to find a distraction, "Zim."

"Well I've decided that… I… I don't know!"

"Zim I really need to know." I said quickly in dread and he bit his lip.

"I don't want to loose your friendship Dib." he said quite plainly but had an edge to it "and I've thought how… when I'm near you… I get this heat. RIGHT NOW!" he suddenly screamed in panic and made me flinched surprised "It's burning my insides and I don't know what it means!"

I knew what it meant… it was the most obvious sign in the world and with out thinking I dropped my bag to the ground and grabbed him, pulling his lips to mine and kissing them viciously. I couldn't help myself, it was boiling up so much and I could feel our hot and heavy breaths as we sucked each others' taste in our mouths desperately but Zim put his arms between us, pushing me back and panted hard as if trying to catch a breath "It feels so strange!"

"Zim, its sexual tension…." I said quickly in a lightning fast voice "That's what happens… I don't believe it, you do _like_ me!"

"I- I don't know." he blubbered out delusional and stared at me with his back pressed up against the lockers, "But I shouldn't like you THIS way! We're just friends."

"NO ZIM!" I cried grabbing his hands and I could feel the heat in them rise into my own "No, we love each other both physically and personality wise."

I felt his fingers clench tight in my pale hands and he glanced up to me with a look I had never seen in him before… need.

"I- don't- understand. HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME SO CONFUSED!" he shouted in terror and I grabbed his hands tighter too, looking at him with my heart going crazy. I wondered needful at what he was thinking, the thoughts going through his mind. Was it a yes or a no! PLEASE ZIM, _JUST TELL ME!_

We heard the bell go in the background and Zim let go of my hands, dropping his to his side and I could see his skin go a darker green. Students started walking through casually and he stared at me with shiny eyes

"You… Dib. I can't DO this!" and ran off. I watched him go in desperation and knew with out hesitation that I had to follow him. I sprinted after him and he glanced back scared, I could feel his heat as I was so close behind and he suddenly pushed the boys' bathroom door opened running in. I dashed in just before it closed and saw him dodge into a cubicle, his panting hard.

"Please Zim!" I begged in a screechy voice as I pressed my hands against the door and could feel him leaning against it; the heat was so strong but not burning, just like a hot day "_Just tell me! I love you! PLEASE!_"

"How can you reduce yourself to this!" he shouted terrified at his own feelings "How can you reduce me to this?"

"I only want to be with you!" I cried, tears streaming down my face in agony and I could hear the door unlock quietly. I took a reluctant step back as he opened it and stared at me with his lenses out, his red eyes like globes… he must have been crying too.

"We shouldn't even exist in this solar system together…" he whispered in his metallic voice and I walked closer to him, my own fear shadowing me.

"Just tell me…" I said in gasping words, "Do you love me….o-or not."

He stared at me, his Safire like eyes gazing into my soul and said in a still voice "Yes…AND I want you, like I've never wanted anything ever before at this very moment."

And with out thinking the cubicle door was locked again and we grabbed each other feverishly, kissing hard and fearfully at what we were doing. I felt his long tongue wrestle with mine, trying to get it to work in his favour and I followed, not caring about anything at this moment but his soft hot skin. I could feel him sweating as he took off his clothes but still managed to kiss me while doing it and he bit my lips angrily helping me pull off my shirt and to undo my pants. I couldn't believe this was happening… it was really happening and I wondered in a blink of a second how we were going to do this? Would he turn around or how was he down there, I couldn't really see for he was kissing me madly but he seemed to put his legs up on my pelvis like a girl and I slid into him almost breezily. He felt so warm inside as I started to thrust him repeatedly against the wall, he was weightless, and I could feel myself ejaculate with out controlling it. He seemed to have a good grip on my shaft as I started to pant heatedly, our mouths separating for a brief minute, but he was holding onto me so tight and I looked up to his gorgeous face that was shining a beautiful emerald green. I pushed a few more times, drilling inside of him as deep as I could go before falling to the ground in an uncontrolled orgasm, groaning in pleasure and he was sitting on me, his legs stretched over my pelvis region, kissing my chest and pushing his hot cheeks up against mine in a sign of affection. I took a breath as I closed my eyes and sucked in the scent of our hot moist bodies still together. I could feel myself gently slide out of him and he hugged me tightly as he rolled to the ground beside me with a dizzy smile. His red eyes were closed softly and he rested his head on my panting body, listening to my heart beat slowly.

I heard him say quietly in his dreamlike voice "Dib… I have never… felt anything like that before… in my life….and I've lived a hundred years."

"Me too." I said in a gasp and felt him looking at me with a broad smile… as if he was for once seeing me the way I saw him.

"Do you love me?" he asked as if a little scared for some reason and I looked at him confused by this.

"Yes."

There was silence and I relaxed a little, laying there in that squished cubicle before I asked back in a nervous voice.

"Do you love me…?"

He stared at me silently and looked away, muttering "I don't know… I think I do…. this burning, it's gone but now I feel something that I can't recognise. When I look at you, it's like a fluttering."

I could've blushed but I was too tired and said back with a shy smile "I love you Zim… invader of my heart."

He grinned and nudged his head under my chin, dawdling his green fingers on my chest and said in an almost happy way, if he could sound happy about my declaration "Well at least I've conquered something…"

We breathed heavily in the silence of the bathroom, not caring that we were supposed to be in class or that we could get into big trouble for being absent. We were in paradise… I was in paradise. And I wondered how anything could go wrong. How anything could tear this feeling apart. Everything was beautiful; the gloomy sky was like a swirl of fluff to me now… the grey concrete just an unpainted canvas. I stared at Zim as he rested his head on me and a soft smile rose to each corner of my warm face in happiness and love. Nothing could be destroyed. Not now, not ever.

If only I knew better…

* * *

Well that's chapter 7. And it's not over yet. Sorry if it wasn't anal but it may be in later chapters. Back to Dib's perspective ay? Well hope you enjoyed it and review if you think it deserves it.

Yay!


	8. Chapter 8

You may find the end of this chapter a bit too heavy but this is Dib and he's in deep.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The next couple of days seemed like heaven. We were always together at school and I wondered to myself how there was so much more I hadn't known about him. He told me everything, every inch of his life that I had so yearned to know before and the more he told me the more I knew we were becoming everything to each other. He didn't like getting me to carry his books for him anymore but I insisted, telling him it made me happy and he even told me the things he used to like to do to see me struggle like when I forcefully ate his lunch only to please him. He seemed kind of ashamed of it now but he was becoming the more dominant one and I loved it. He would text me at night and even put a webcam on his lab computer for us to talk when we were apart. When ever I met up with him at school he'd actually kiss me proudly on the lips in front of everyone and he always felt so hot after a time of separation, lusting me as much as I were him. We were on detention for a week for skipping class that one time but it didn't matter for we would only talk to each other in the room and people seemed to start avoiding me more if that was possible but as if I cared for what some dicks thought. I was happy. I was finally happy and no one would take that away from me. All my life I had been fighting the one thing that in the end put me in bliss and I'd often laugh insanely at it as I lay on my bed… how foolish I had been, and how I'd never be foolish again.

As Gaz and I walked towards Zim's house that Monday I felt my heart beat madly seeing him at the wall of his entrance and I said with a large smile.

"Hey."

"Come," he said to me dirtily with a dark grin and pulled me away to his house, Gaz staring after us in sickness at what she knew we were going to do. We didn't go into his house but to the side and Zim pressed his moist lips against mine, fixing them together as he drew my tongue into his mouth and twirled around it with his own. I felt myself feel hot as he French kissed me in delirium, our warm lips sliding in passed each other and he pulled down his pants slowly, knowing it was simpler to just do our pants for we had done this a few times now and I unzipped my fly, showing my upright cock; he smiled sinisterly as he hopped on me, pushing me over onto the grass and lay on top of me majestically as if he was conquering something. I could feel him surround me, in my sight, his heat consuming my whole body and him thrusting down on me, kissing me madly around the neck and I groaned in a fog of pleasure as I felt the lower half of myself explode into him. It felt so sensational, so right as if we were born to do this and as I lay there I saw his green face stare down at me with a luscious smile, breathing heavy from the saliva he had left on my neck before moving up to my lips again and mooching them together, but gasped as he could feel me in him and grasped onto my black hair messing it up but I was too distracted to notice the strong grip on my head. When my shaft finally began to lower and slide out of him he just lay there on top of me and whispered darkly into my ear.

"I needed that."

Needed? I thought confused, but then blushed thinking that maybe it was no longer a want with him but a need… like we were finally equal in love completely. We lay there in silence, our genitals pressing against each other softly and he stared at me asking off topic.

"So what have you been doing lately?"

"Honestly," I said shyly "Thinking of you."

"Wow, Dib." he said sarcastically "Anything other than that?"

"Just that…" I became quiet and he looked at me blankly, waiting to be told "That I think we should move in together." I sucked my breath in after saying that with fear and he seemed a little surprised. He looked around awkwardly as if trying to find something to catch his eyes and slipped off me.

"Well… that sounds… interesting." he said finally after he had pulled his pants on and was sitting on the ground his arms around his legs sitting in an arched position.

I didn't dare say anything. I didn't want to show my pain at how he had said that so casually and I repeated, "But then, then we could be together always."

Zim looked at me slowly and I knew he was thinking hard, a concentrating expression was on him, his eyes low and I swallowed in terror at what he'd say next.

"I think…" he finally spoke and I bit my lip in fear, "I need to think about it."

Think about it?! I thought desperately at how he didn't want this? HOW COULD HE NOT WANT THIS! It didn't make sense to me and I felt like bursting into tears at his rejection but he didn't seem to take my face into consideration. He was too busy looking in the air with a million thoughts in his head and finally said back to me, me trying to look as calm and responsive as I could but it felt like a dagger had gone through my heart and it was killing me looking at him.

"We really should be at school."

I breathed in silently and nodded with a sad force, pulling my pants on and zipping my fly up. He was up off the ground and never offered me a hand up. I felt a tremble inside as I got up on my own and we walked to school in silence. As we stepped into the building another dread came over me. That I was late for class and I shuddered coming in the door and seeing Mr. Twinky looking at us with the most disappoint and said in his soft voice as we sat down at our desks.

"And why were you two late?" he asked in his boring tone even though he was serious and as I was about to speak Zim said sternly.

"We got sidetracked."

People's eyes opened wide hearing that and they looked at us with googly expressions. I dropped my face into my hands embarrassed. Well not embarrassed for I didn't care what people thought but why did Zim had to reinforce their prejudice against us anyway? Had he no concern or was that how he presumed we were being portrayed as now at the school anyway.

"Well I'm sorry but you boys are twenty minutes late, one more tardy and-"

"We'll get _detention_, yeah we know." Zim said not caring and Mr. Twinky looked flabbergasted but ground his teeth together and continued on with the class.

I watched him speak and got lost in the boringness of his voice, my mind swimming in a million thoughts at what Zim was thinking and then suddenly I felt like I heard Zim's voice in my head saying, _Sorry Dib but it was my plan to fool you all along so I could USE your broken heart to distract you while I try to take over the world._ I felt like crying in heartbreak at this pre-imagined dialogue and looked at Zim's beauty as he sat in front of me but he suddenly seemed a bit drowsy as he seemed to swallow something back in his throat but lurched forward suddenly onto his desk and spewed up.

"Zim!" I gasped shocked and was half off my seat in worry but Mr. Twinky gave me a warning look and I froze in my position as he rushed over to Zim and helped him up. I looked at his desk to see brown mushy vomit seeping down it and my eyes went horrified in panic.

"Are you okay, Zim?" Mr Twinky asked calmly, his hand on Zim's pack and Zim nodded his head slowly but seemed annoyed as he felt vulnerability at his state and said harshly.

"Yes I'm fi- _Urhh_!" he croaked as he vomited again on the floor and my heart sped up in terror as I shouted in haste.

"I'll take him to the bathroom!"

"No Dib!" Mr. Twinky replied angry and pointed to my seat with heated eyes "Sit."

"But his-!"

"I'M FINE!" Zim shouted pushing the teacher's hands off him, "It's just a little sickness from something I ate this morning… err, Sea food! It was gone off."

"You ate sea food for breakfast?" Someone in the class asked with a suspicious raised eyebrow and Zim glared at them for questioning him.

"YES."

"Okay Zim, now do you think you need to go to the nurse?" Mr. Twinky asked slowly and Zim stared at him in irritation but said with one breath.

"No."

"Okay. Could you go out to the office anyway and get a wet towel?" he asked in a second thought kind of way and Zim stared at him deeply annoyed. I hated seeing him like this and why should he have to get it for he wasn't able to help vomiting up.

"I'll do it sir." I said quickly and Mr. Twinky sighed, putting his hands on his hips and replying.

"Fine, whatever."

I stood up and glanced at Zim worriedly as I left the room, his face was plastered in a sickly expression like he was still woozy.

I walked in slow but worried steps as I went to the sick room and knocked on the door with an unsure smile.

"Hey can I get a wet towel here, someone vomited up in class."

The nurse was fiddling with her red painted nails idly and glanced quickly up to me like she was caught off guard, jumping on her seat and saying fast, I could tell she was pretending to be professional "Err yes, and what for?"

"Someone… spewed." I repeated for a second time with an annoyed furrowed brow and she smiled silly saying,

"Oh right, he, he. Well sure, I'll go get a towel right now." and went off in a clumsy way to a press, getting a white towel and wetting it at the sink. She had blonde curly hair and seemed to have a good physique but I hated how this had come upon my thoughts, she was nothing compared to Zim and at the moment he was in trouble. She handed me the wet cloth with an unprofessional flirty grin and I just looked at her with low eyes, taking it and leaving the room. Why would they hire someone so ditsy? I thought to myself and then it took me a second to realize it was probably over her looks. I blinked a few times at how I could be thinking about something so stupid as to why the nurse was hired when Zim was in serious harm. I had never seen him so sick before, never seen him woozy and thought to myself that maybe it was because of us having… sex? Could my human sperm in him actually be poisoning him? I felt myself sweat a little in fear that that could be it. I-I mean, we did have sex this morning and now he was vomiting up? I took hasty gasps of panic as I stood outside Mr. Twinky's door but held my breath coming in to see Zim wasn't there and that there was extra vomit on the ground. My heart stiffened as I looked at his empty seat in stillness.

"W-where's Zim?!" I asked in a yelp as I glanced about in crazy worry and Mr. Twinky took the towel off me, mopping the top of Zim's desk first.

"He was sent home, he went to ring his parents."

"What!" I said in a shriek "Well can I GO AND-"

"Go to your desk Dib." Mr. Twinky said blankly and I glanced about panicky to the door. I gave him a pleading look to allow me to leave but he just stared plainly at me and I sighed out pathetically, going to my desk and slumping down on it in worry.

My eyes glanced about hastily just thinking of how Zim was in pain, vomiting and how I was stuck here, in this stupid GOD DAM school which would have NO impact on my future for my dad was already filthy rich. I felt like getting up and leaving the class, I couldn't see why I should stay if Zim was in trouble and slowly started to get up but Mr. Twinky stared with striking impatience at my attitude, tapping his black shoe on the ground annoyed and I breathed hard out, falling back down on my seat and bit my nails in fear, a drop of sweat running down my forehead in fret.

I waited in agony for the bell to ring, every minute felt like ten and finally the knelling came and I shot up, sprinting out of the room and going to the main office as I had already formulated a fake excuse to go home.

I knocked on the office door and said in fake pain to the receptionist.

"Urgh… my stomach, oh God! I feel so sick…"

"Are you okay Dib?" she asked looking away from her computer and I said in a moaning voice.

"Urgh, can I _please_ go home."

"Why don't you rest on that seat over there?" she said pointing to a couch in the room and I said loudly.

"No! ….it's just, Urrrrrrgh, I feel so faint. Can I ring my dad?"

"Okay," she said worriedly and handed me the phone "If it's that bad."

I nodded and took it, dialling the number in a fake slow aching way and waited to hear the answering machine say in my father's voice.

"Hi! I'm professor Membrane and this is the Membrane house! No one is here but feel free to leave a message and we'll get back to you _straight_ away!"

"Dad, I'm feeling really sick." I said in a woozy voice and pretended to wait so that it looked like he was answering "Uh huh, okay, you'll get a taxi home for me… thanks," I said coughing and hung up, holding my belly and saying to her, "He said walk out of the school and a taxi will pick me up."

"Okay." she said and as I was just about to leave she added "Just sign out for me please?"

I strained my teeth in eagerness to leave but quickly jotted down my name into the booklet and walked painfully out of the room, but ran as soon as I left her sight through the halls and out of the building.

"Oh God ZIM!" I shouted to myself in distress once I was running on the footpath down the street "Please _don't die_! PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO _YOU_!"

If I was poisoning him I could never forgive myself! If he died it'll be all my fault! Tears started to stream down my face as I reached his house and I slammed my fist in terror at his door waiting for him to answer but only Gir came to it and I looked down at him, wiping my wet cheek with my sleeve in a hurry.

"Where's Zim?!"

"Master gone downstairs to POOP!" Gir shouted back in a goofy voice "Except his pooping out of his mouth! Just like I do sometimes. Yay!"

"Gir, he's not pooping! His vomiting! Let me through!" I said in plead but stormed my way in anyway and looked around in fretfulness for the entrance into Zim's lab. I was too big for the toilet and so was Zim by now so how the hell did he get in?

"Gir!" I shouted and the robot looked at me with a big smile "Where's the elevator located?"

"In the couch!" he said back gleefully and pushed a button on a remote that magically appeared in his hand, the couch pushing automatically to the side with a platform underneath it.

I hurried to it, but Gir followed me on and I groaned in annoyance as we started to descend, metal walls surrounding us and I felt my body holding back nervous fidgets of what might happen next. As we reached the lab floor I quickly ran out and looked about urgently in the red light for Zim. I saw him finally, sitting on a metal table and holding his stomach as if in fear and grief with a large basin beside him and I shouted "Zim!" running over to him and his red orb eyes looked up at me quickly in surprise.

"Dib?!" he said in astonishment but also had anger in it "How did you get in here?"

"Gir let me in." I replied as I hugged him but he pushed me off him and stared at me hatefully.

"I don't want you here."

I stared at him confused… what was he talking about? Why wouldn't he want me here, I could help figure out what was wrong with him and I said barely "Why…?"

He stared at me sharply but I could see a little distress in his eyes and he replied coldly "I don't think we can be together."

I felt like something tingly had just happened to me, like I was having a stroke when those words came out and I blubbered quickly, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"If it's about the sex I don't care! We don't need IT! Zim I only want to be with you for you!" I pleaded desperately and grabbed his hand begging for him to reconsider but he only glared at me and said in a demanding voice.

"I DON'T LIKE YOU DIB! I NEVER HAVE! I WAS USING YOU… I despise you as much as I ever have."

I opened my mouth to breathe for I was finding it impossible to take in his words "You… d-don't mean that."

"Yes. I. Do." he said in a cold voice and threw my hand off his getting up and yelling "GET… OUT."

I stumbled back, staring at him in a tremble.

"…Zim…"

He just looked at me with soulless orbs and I walked slowly back looking at him in despair… before running to the metal stand and it ascended; my face red and drenched as I looked at Zim's hateful one watch me until it disappeared behind the metal walls. I started shaking uncontrollably standing there with saturating tears draining my face and I gasped for air running out of the house, the sunny day lying about how much suffering the world was in! I HATED EVERYTHING! WHY! WHHHHHHYYYY!

I ran to my house, bashing off everyone on the street and as I got in the door I went to the kitchen and pulled the cutlery draw opened, tearing out a sharp knife and not thinking for thinking always hurt me so much!

-stabbed myself in the gut.

"AHHH!" I screamed in torture as I felt my blue top get soaked with red blood and I crouched over, staggering across the slippy blood drenched floor before collapsing and staring at the table legs, desperate to crawl over to hide myself under them. Things started to go blurry as I lay there and I could feel light inside as if my body was emptying of all the pain it was in and filling it with peace and understanding. I was in peace in all my pain and I closed my eyes sleepily, my head dropping hard to the tiled ground with a bang. Maybe it was me imagining it but I could hear sound whisper in my ear.

A door opening, a girl's voice gasping as she said in horror.

"Oh God."

Feet running across me to the phone and desperate talking trying to explain to someone not there what was happening.

I smiled as I heard that familiar girl's voice yell at me in horror and hands turning my body around so that I was facing the ceiling. I opened my eyes barely and saw purple hair dangle across me with yellow eyes peering down at me as a voice said.

"Dib? Why would you doooo thhhhhisssssss-"

The words becoming stretched before becoming completely inaudible and I lay there, near death. But happy, happy that I didn't have to go through the pain of not being with Zim… for I loved him. And living with him hating me, was not worth living at all.

* * *

Well... I can't say much, Dib is just, in... very... deep. If you liked the chapter and would like to find out what happens next, please review and I'll update sooner than later. Bye.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Zim**

I sat there breathing slowly on the metal stand and thought at how I had made the right decision. I could not leave myself vulnerable to Dib, not when I had been so powerful in the relationship. But had I done the right thing? Now that I knew there was something inside of me, attached to my life stream. I could feel movement in me the first time we had had sex… an hour later it was like a little worm was inside of me, penetrating my core. My body was very sensitive to things on the inside, I had complete control over all my organs, if I wanted my squiggly spooch to stop beating then it would. If I wanted to digest food straight away then I would. My pak was like an electronic manual to my insides but now… there was this thing that was inside of me that I couldn't control. At first I thought it was because I had gotten some parasite in me somehow, but my body would've killed it straight away. So it wasn't a parasite in me… but something else. If I sent a message to the Irken lavatory they'd ask me what my activities had been in the past week and I couldn't tell them of my… physical doings. I'd be an outcast. But I had thought of the possibilities that maybe, I was… pregnant?

It seemed absurd! Irkens were meant to be sterile, for thousands of years! So it couldn't be… but I started to wonder to myself in fear…. maybe just our seamen was. After all, we had never tried to get pregnant by another species of alien… we had found it deplorable, disgusting, DEGRADING. But even if I did admit to it, Dib was not any of those things.

I sat there, my face a pale shade of green as I felt undigested food suddenly surge up my throat and I lurched forward, pulling the basin to my face and threw up in it, gasping barely as the process had burned my throat and I groaned, feeling my forehead sweat a little from all the stress.

"Are you done with that yet sir?"

I looked down, seeing Gir standing below me and looking up with a blank face… God, I had forgotten he was here and I stared at him annoyed.

"Why Gir?" I asked barely and he smiled raising his metal hands up in a grabby motion.

"Cause I wanna use it for a bath!"

"Gir that's disgusting."

"Ohh…" he said disappointed and dropped to the ground in a sitting position, a baby sad face on him "But I loves food!"

I just stared at him and felt the movement in my stomach again, something wiggling around in it and I thought to myself in fear… if I was pregnant with a smeet… what would that mean? We had learnt in Irken history class that a smeet took a year to grow and I had learnt here a fetus took nine months to develop. If I was impregnated, I'd be stuck like this for the better half of the year at any case. I'd be weak, and vulnerable. I'd have to stay in my base. CURSE! I thought furious, how was I ever going to gather information on earth… granted that had not really been on my mind lately… all I had been consumed with was Dib and the pleasure I had felt when I was near him. But ever since the first time we'd had intercourse… I had had these weird feelings in me… like I wasn't completely myself. I was having images in my head at night of colours unlike my usual thoughts of blood and human enslavement. I had even been have the feeling like I was someone else; like these feelings in me were someone else's, like I was feeling… Dib's emotions. That was insane! How could I be feeling what Dib was? I had to research this more. It had been ten minutes since he had left and I wearily got off the metal table, going over to my computer chair and saying to the computer in a demanding voice.

"Computer! Show me the trimester periods of an Irken and what there is to expect."

"Yes sir…" it replied bored and not really bothered but groaned and the screen flashed up a bunch of information which had pictures of pregnant Irkens and I stared at them with fear as I saw the large bellies on them and I sweated worried reading the Irken text quickly.

_When fertile Irkens mate they make a connection to their partner through the seamen taking the brainwaves of its original Irken producer. Thus the two parent Irkens will always be able to keep track down each other through thoughts and actions through any distance of space so to make sure that each of their offspring is safe from harm. The parents will grow an attachment to each other through each day for their smeets will be wanting their original producer to parent them. This will show with strong urges to be by an Irkens partner at all time._

This was INSANE! I reread the information again and again, my large eyes skimming through it speedily and I plopped back on my chair, distressed from it all. So that's why I had been having these strange urges to have Dib in me so much, as close as possible. But I couldn't be completely reliant on him! No I would not allow my self. I felt like a part of me I was ignoring was now yelling out in my brain as I heard a voice in a desperation say, _It can't be true… it can't be true, he does love me… how can he do this to me, it can't be all a lie!_

Was that Dib's voice I was hearing… could I already be attaching to his mentality? He sounded so needy, so helpless and than I felt like a sharp pain pierced in my gut. I looked down terrified as if something had stabbed me but there was nothing and I fell back in my chair trembling in fear. I was fine, I was not in harm. But I felt like blood was pouring out of me and I looked about hurriedly but there was none. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel like I was being harmed when I obviously wasn't. It was only mental pain I was feeling… all in the head and I gasped as I heard Dib's voice say barely, _it's fine… it can end now. _I felt peace go through my body and I breathed slowly in confusion… what had Dib done? My mind went blank from his voice and I sat there in silence… wonder running through me so slowly. He had hurt himself… I could feel it, and why, I thought in fear… because I had said it was over? Was he stupid? He would hurt himself if he wasn't with me? I didn't understand, it didn't make sense and I became shaky with the fear that I could no longer feel him… he was gone from my subconscious and I quietly got up. I walked in silence to my lift and went up in no sound, Gir running hurriedly after me and just jumping on the platform as it started to ascend.

"Don't leaves me in the dark!" he said annoyed and then started laughing. I was silent… worried that I couldn't hear anything and whispered in fear.

"Gir… I think Dib… is hurt."

"Yeah!"

"GIR!"

"Wha?"

"That is bad."

"Why is it bad now?"

I sighed annoyed, "Why wouldn't it be… I need him." I said despite my better instincts but I felt my self growing every second more attached to my absent boyfriend. The squiggling inside me seemed to be going berserk and I held my stomach in fear as we reached the ground floor and I stepped out into the sitting room looking about and heard a ringing from the kitchen. One of my eyes slit in confusion and I went over to the phone but felt a foreboding in me… something was wrong… I could feel it. I picked up the phone in one silent movement and said to whoever it was.

"What?"

"Zim… you bastard."

It was a girl's voice and I recognized it instantly.

"Gaz?" I said annoyed and I could hear her growl.

"Yes Zim. Me. And you know what, Dib is in hospital."

I froze. This information didn't seem to register with me properly and I took a few scarce breaths saying "What for…"

"He stabbed himself. What the hell did you do?" she said in a snarl and I felt a shudder go through my spine. He had stabbed himself… because of what I said… was he really so delicate? My old arch nemesis who I had been fighting for five years… had stabbed himself over me…?

I was so out of it that I wasn't paying attention to the shouts coming out of the phone in my hand but blinked slowly and listened.

"He's in hospital! He's in surgery! They say he might not be able to pull through, he's got internal bleeding."

"He's stronger than that." I replied barely knowing that Dib had survived through worse things and she said in fury.

"If you love him you'll be at the hospital when he comes out of the operation." and with that I heard beeping as the line went dead. I stared ahead of me in fear and slowly put the phone back down on its dial. I looked around quietly and went over to the kitchen table, sitting down and thinking in silence to myself. He would pull through this, he was not weak. It didn't make sense. I knew I meant a lot to him, he had made that blatantly obvious the first time he confessed his love to me. And how he did so much for me. So he had actually taken me so serious when I had said I despised him…? And what was this about the sex he had been going on about? It didn't make sense saying he didn't care about it. I blew my lips frustrated and Gir came over to me with a smile as he asked.

"Was that the pizza man? COS I love PIZZA!"

"No Gir…" I said quietly and bit my lips in a little anxiety "Dib's in hospital."

"No! Really! Amazing! WOW!"

"What are you doing?" I asked confused as I watched the little sir unit put on different expressive stances like he was auditioning for a play.

"I don't know." He replied in a confused voice and I sighed annoyed. I leaned my head on my hand in distress of the situation and finally, tapping my other hand's fingers on the table I got up and headed for the door to go to the hospital. I pulled out my wig and lenses from my pocket and put them on reaching the door but as I opened it I set my eyes on the suddenly stormy weather.

"Oh Great!" I shouted frustrated, looking at that acid to my skin water fall from the sky. I stiffened my body in anger and decided the only way to get there was by using my voot cruiser. I could just disguise it as a cloud anyway and I slammed the door close, heading up the stairs to my attic where the ship was kept. Gir would mind the base while I was gone but as I came into the ship room I startled back confused at myself. Why was I so easily bending to Dib's need and seeing him. It wasn't my fault that he had hurt himself… yet, I felt bad for some reason. It felt so odd inside, an Irken was never meant to feel sad but there it was inside me. I sat into the cruiser quietly and the glass top descended over me in an instant. I felt my stomach churn slowly as the small squiggling went around inside and I frowned bothered by the constant movement that I now felt in myself which wasn't me. I lowered my eyes and felt like punching my belly to control this creature that was sucking my life force but as my fist flew into a punch something seemed to restrain me mentally and my hand stopped a moment before impact as if in something else's control.

"What?" I gasped confused and tried to punch myself again but my hand also froze a centre metre from contact and instead redirected to my face. I swiped my cheek and a dark green mark appeared on it. I looked at horror at my belly, terrified that I wasn't able to hurt it… this thing, IT HAD CONTROL OVER MY MOTIONS TOWARD IT. This was insane, as soon as I could I'd have to perform an abortion, there was no way I was going to have this thing that was sucking my force with me not able to do anything about it. I pressed on the button for camouflage and chose the cloud covering. I started up the cruiser and quickly flew out of the house, the roof opening for me as I did. I flew over the landscape of the city in silence and glanced a few times at my stomach in fear and hate. But as I flew I could start to feel the presence of another conscious with me and feelings of pain swept over me as well as grief.

_No…_ a voice that sounded oh so familiar said in my mind_, I survived… and I'm alone… why would they save me, no one loves me… why would they save me…? _

Dam it Dib, I thought to myself frustrated at the second set of thoughts running through my mind, why are you talking like that? Had I really done that much damage… he was so, so very sensitive. I had caused all this and how was I supposed to make it better? I neared the hospital and landed on top of it, putting the cruiser in the camouflage of some bricks. I put a raincoat that I kept in it on me, zipping it right up over my head and jumped out of the cruiser running to the roof's door and entering it quickly. As soon as I stepped into the building I could feel a pull from my stomach as if it was trying to force me to go a certain way and I grabbed the rail to the stairs that I was on, looking down them to see another door in the dim shadowy light which led out to the hospital's main floor. My stomach was pulling forward so hard I thought it would break away from me and I shouted annoyed, unzipping the raincoat down from my face awkwardly with one hand to see what was going on.

"Stop it!" I shouted at it frustrated and tried to hit it again but my hand reflected back onto my face with a slap "I control where I go!" I yelled in anger and walked slowly down the stairs, just to prove that it didn't make the choices around here. As I reached the final step and let go of the rail it felt like my stomach took control of my legs for it pulled me through the door and into the halls instantly. "H-hey!" I said angry as my stomach shot right out, bending my back for it pulled me down the halls in front of all the people and my legs just trailed behind in obedience "What the hell is wrong with my body! This shouldn't be happening!"

Aside from the obvious need for my smeet to find its father, Dib's thoughts that I had pushed away were becoming more prevalent in my mind as I heard his voice gasp in tears, _it hurts so much… why does it always have to HURT THIS MUCH!_

I wasn't even paying attention to the direction I was walking but when I looked I could see that I was barely missing people.

"STOP IT!" I screamed in fury and defiance as I ran passed them "I control where I go!" They looked at me confused and not thinking I grabbed onto a doctor so I could stop the disobedience of my body moving. The man looked at me annoyed and I spat back "Hey at least you don't have a GOD DAM SMEET in you trying to tell you what to do!"

"Hey, did this guy escape from the mental ward?" He replied back looking around for some assistance and I hissed letting go of him and walked in stomps as I was led to a wall with glass windows showing people in beds sleeping. I looked ahead of myself to see a girl with purple hair and arms folded sitting on a chair with a grimace on her face and I lowered my eyes in dislike as I was stopped being pulled and looked down at her saying.

"Gaz."

She looked up with a face of rage and said back "Zim, you dick."

"Good to see you too." I replied in vehemence and felt Dib's voice say in my mind, _it's so isolating in here… do they want me to die of depression?_ I looked at her and than to the closed door that was to the side of her with deep… unrest.

"Is he in there?"

"No, I just like hanging outside stranger's doors who I don't give a dam about for the fun of it." she replied meanly and I stared at her in irritation at her always so snappy attitude.

"I came didn't I?"

"A bit too late."

"I know he's not dead."

"A bit too late from stopping him from stabbing himself in the gut in the first place." she replied more informatively and I breathed out in annoyance.

"It's not my fault Dib hurt himself." I said harshly and felt guilt in even those words "And I came like you said so I do care."

"You were just using him." she said standing up and staring at me in rage, "For your little sexual pleasure, and as soon as you got bored with him you dumped him."

I felt fury at what she was accusing me of. I did care about Dib; I would not put myself through the torture of being near a human unless I felt some sort of happiness and that bitch was really towing the line with what she was saying.

"I came." I repeated darkly and looked slowly through the glass window on the door, seeing Dib laying there in the bed on his side looking at the wall in depression and had a blood bag hanging over him on a trolley. I took a mental breath and pulled my face away from the glass, thinking of how I was just supposed to go in there and make things all right. I knew I could. I could do anything but a question that lingered in the back of my mind was maybe Dib was reacting this way because subconsciously he knew I was holding his offspring. Now that I thought about it, it did make sense. I had said I didn't want to be with him, he must of thought that he was loosing his offspring so in desperation tried to take his life. It was a theory that I started to automatically believe.

So he didn't try to kill himself over me but for his offspring! I thought in anger, and would not accept that I was deluding myself into thinking that I wasn't the cause. I lowered my eyes in wretchedness and caught Gaz's stare at me.

"What is it stink beast?!" I shouted pissed at her constant presence and she replied with a sour voice.

"Aren't you going to go in."

I looked at her suspicious; I was not the cause for this! It was the smeet but I ground my teeth and pushed the door opened coming in, Dib was still looking with wet eyes at the wall.

"Go away doctor." he grumbled in misery not looking up and I said a little hesitant.

"No-" he recognised my voice instantly, his eyes brightening "It's Zim."

He turned his head in a fast movement to see my face and I could see wasted features of exhaustion and blood loss. Even through his misery he started to smile and said in a quaky happy voice.

"Zim…" but continued as if suddenly remembering the break up "What are you doing here…?"

"I was told you stabbed yourself." I replied crossly and he pressed back on his pillow as if scared that I knew that "Why?"

"I… don't know." he said quietly in an unconvincing way and I stared hard at him, "I guess… i-it's because, you broke up with me."

"That… was the reason?" I said back warily "And not because you thought something was being taken away from you?"

"Only you." he stuttered in sadness and a tear rolled down his cheek "Why are you here."

"Because I had to see if you were alive." I replied plainly and glanced my eyes off nervous "Are you going to attempt something like this again?"

_If the pain gets so bad, _I heard his thoughts say in my mind and my eyes were hard listening to him, _God he looks so beautiful._ I grinned hearing that, of course I was beautiful.

"No." he said in a lie and I frowned looking back at him in anger.

"Do not lie to me."

He shuddered and started to cry a little, holding his sore gut in a crouch and I breathed out frustrated, I couldn't be like this to him.

"Dib." I said as nice as I could for I really did care, "I think we should get… back together."

_Only because you feel sorry for me, why don't you love me! _I heard his thoughts scream but when I looked at him he nodded back quickly.

"Only if you want to be with me." he whimpered and something suddenly forced me to take his hand and hold it tight. I smiled slowly, nervous that I was doing this so soon after his attempted suicide and felt needed to say.

"I do."

"And Zim I don't care about the sex." he said quickly looking into my fake eyes with quaky ones of his own "I only want to be with you for you. I love you." he said scared and I felt obliged, like the smeet was putting in feelings of intimacy in me, to crawl under the blankets with him. I swallowed nervous as I sat on the bed and pulled my legs in, laying there with him. Dib was smiling so happily, but I could sense fear in him as well. Yes I broke up with him, but I was not willing to let him try to kill himself again. I could feel his arms nervously wrap around me and I sighed but felt as though my stomach was trying to push itself against him in need. I squirmed a bit which made him feel scared but I kept getting this urge to be completely close to him so I held him back, leaning my head against his and feeling hot inside which really bugged me.

He seemed to feel my rise in temperature too and looked at me with wondering eyes saying "Y-you know, no one will probably come in."

I stared at him in shock at his suggestive tone and was about to remind him that my disguise probably would fall off but felt the heat burning in me, desperate for sensations and without thinking I started kissing him, pulling him onto me as I sunk into the mattress a little and I could feel his body squint a bit in pain. He was wearing one of those hospital gowns with thin underwear and as my finger quickly got under them I pulled them off but I heard in his thoughts him say, _Ah, ow… it hurts_. I slowed down my kissing of his lips a little as he lay on top of me and looked up to see his face quenched in pain from his gut. I sighed annoyed and pushed him off me, which he did immediately as he gasped and held his stitched up belly in pain.

"Why did you s-stop?" he asked quietly and I replied in a plain voice.

"Didn't want to burst your stitches.". He looked disappointed but I could tell in his thoughts it was only because he was trying to please me. I slowly started to get up from the bed but I felt my stomach try to pull me back down. I forcefully ignored it and stood over him saying in an unsure urge.

"I think you should move in with me once you get out of here."

He stared at me, completely caught off by this and mumbled "…why?" _If you said you despised me so much before_, his voice said in tears in my head, _how can I trust you..?_

"The reason I broke up with you was stupid." I said back in vigour and he stared at me confused. I became hesitant but continued in a high voice "I thought that I would be vulnerable to you… not that I despised you. I was _scared_." I said that word in hate that I was using it but it best explained what I felt and I looked at him with large worried eyes whispering in fear "Dib"

I had to tell him of the curse that was afflicted on me; I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to.

"I'm pregnant…

with your offspring. "

His eyes widened slowly hearing that, his mouth opening in what I could only imagine must be horror…

* * *

Well here's the next chapter. It came really quickly and is the longest yet so I hope you enjoy it and if you do then r&r


	10. Chapter 10

Well sorry it's taking this long! I really haven't had much time! But don't worry this story will get finished. Hopefully you'll enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Dib**

Was this real…? It didn't seem possible, Zim, my _boy_friend was telling me he was pregnant… with my child. I felt a volcano of emotions erupt in me in a hurry, fear, terror, worry and- and… I didn't understand but for some reason I felt… happiness. I did. It couldn't be true but it was and I was going to be a father! A FATHER! I looked at Zim as he stood there in front of me with a blank face, my eyes widening than narrowing in confusion and I said loudly, "-What?"

"I'm pregnant…" Zim said in a strained voice "With your baby…" he had a sour face on him now as he continued with more restraint from anger "But I'm getting rid of it as soon as I can."

I looked at him more confused. H-he wanted to get rid of our baby? My baby? Did he not want me in his life? Did he not see what a miracle this was? It was a miracle! I was able to have a child with the alien I loved and he didn't want it? My eyes quivered in fear as I flicked them down to his stomach and replied shakily.

"Why? Why don't you want to… keep it?"

His eyes widened hard as he seemed to be taking in more information than what I had actually said and looked at me heatedly saying.

"Dib. This creature-" I stiffened hearing him say that word, that inhumane word "could be dangerous!"

"D-dangerous?" I stuttered confused at this, it was not even probably a week old and he was calling it dangerous "How could it be? It's our child! Tell me!"

He seemed to grow still as if not wanting to tell me something and I looked up at him in anger at this, our child… my own kid… someone who'd love me unconditionally and finally not a love I had to bide for from Zim or not receive from my own family.

"You think I don't give you love unconditionally?" Zim said in an angry voice and I blinked up at him, suddenly realising he was talking and said confused.

"What Zim? What does that have to do with anything…?"

He seemed to realise what he said and folded his arms saying stubbornly "Nothing" but I could hear a tint of worry in his voice. He frowned in concern and looked at me with his fake eyes saying "It's not Irken DNA. I'll probably miscarry anyway."

"But you mightn't." I said hopefully and he moaned in displeasure at my eagerness.

"No… I MIGHTN'T. But why does it matter… humans and Irkens have completely different organs, I'm surprised it hasn't died yet of the different anatomy structures… but then, it PROBABLY hasn't developed any organs yet."

"Zim… I don't want you getting rid of the baby." I said in a calm stern voice and he glanced at me frustrated tapping his fingers along his folded arms and gave a glare.

"I thought you loved me DIB" he said in a snarl "What about what I want? It's my body."

"And I thought you loved me." I said barely with tears in my eyes, "What about what I want and also… part of my religion," I decided to add in quickly even though I didn't really have much faith in anything "It's wrong to kill another being."

"And you want me to keep it?" he spat angrily "And what if I don't want to. If you love me you'll let me decide."

I was kind of surprised that he was even saying that, he had all the power in this, I couldn't be with him all the time and he could get rid of the baby whenever I was gone for a minute. I swallowed and looked at him hard saying slowly.

"You broke my heart Zim…" I looked at him deeply as I spoke "and you can't just expect to get back in a relationship with me and have all the power you had before… I was a push over, doing anything to make you happy but now I'm standing up. I want to be with you so I will. I-if we're having a child together than I decide whether we keep it or not."

I couldn't believe what I was saying, my own bravery and knew it was so easy for me to falter on these words but kept eye contact with him with out slipping to show I was sincere in this matter. He looked at me, almost in an examining way and seemed to murmur a "hmm" like he was planning something. He looked at me some more and said sharply.

"And what would you do if I did… kill it?"

I shuddered, scared now that my tactic hadn't seemed to work and muttered quickly "I-I-" if I said that I'd leave him I'd automatically be lying, I couldn't live my life without Zim in it, I'd die of depression… I'd literally suffocate in tears knowing that we were so close in distance but weren't with each other. I decided to give the only response I could, trying my best to indicate that I wouldn't leave him even if he did… kill it.

"I'd never look at you the same. I'd still love you, but I'd know that you didn't love me as much."

His eyes narrowed; something that looked like hesitancy and his arms fell to his sides. He looked worried and said in an almost trying voice, "Dib… don't you understand… I'm…sc-" he cut himself off but I automatically knew what the word was.

Scared. He was scared and I immediately felt like holding him in my arms to reassure him that there was nothing to fear, I desperately felt like crying out to him and he seemed to know this as he grinned, knowing I wanted to be close to him.

"Okay." he said then in a clear voice and I looked at him in surprise. He just agreed "I'll keep it for as long as I feel it necessary. But only because it is _my_ smeet and an Irken would find it horrific to kill something that has the same resemblance as it."

I stared at him, a smile slowly rising in disbelief… he was keeping it. My baby. He was willingly going to have our child, err smeet- whatever it was and I reached my hand out, trying to gently stroke his but I measured the distance wrong and barely touched him. I blushed with watery eyes of happiness and felt his fingers intertwine in mine, his extreme hotness warming instantly up my skin.

"Thank you. Zim."

He slowly grinned and we both stared into each others large eyes longingly before the door opened and a nurse came in.

"I'm sorry." she said with a friendly smile and looked at Zim kindly "Visiting hours are over."

"What?" I said suddenly in shock at this and glanced at her quickly, Zim still holding my hand "Well can't you make an exception- can't he stay the night?" I decided to add on eagerly and she put on a disgruntled frown saying slowly but sternly.

"I'm sorry but that is hospital hours."

"Well, when can I go home?" I asked annoyed, shifting about in my bed and she stared at me irritated at my attitude.

"I don't know, I'd have to see the doctor's chart."

"Urf," I moaned and Zim looked at her quickly saying in a calm but ticked off way himself.

"_Okay_, I'll get going."

"Well you could stay if you were close family I guess, but-" she looked at us holding hands with smugness and my hand dropped down as Zim let go of it immediately.

"He's my cousin." I said quickly, the idea forming in my head and she seemed to smirk, not believing.

"Look Dib, I'll see you tomorrow." Zim continued on getting aggravated by all this silly confusing talking and I sighed, looking down to the ground as he pulled away and went to the door. I felt like crying seeing him leave, it was so _hard_ to know that he had to go… leave me here, ALONE. With these people who didn't understand how important he was to me- no one understood.

Zim seemed to feel my emotions as he stared at me in heartbreak nearly going through the door and I glared at the nurse who seemed to step back quickly, feeling my anger and sadness cloud the room.

"Your doctor will be in shortly, with your family, there's some things they'd like to discuss."

I turned away from her, pulling the blankets on me and hiding in the darkness… hating them all and felt like there was a tearing in my soul, the darkness elapsing deep into me… why?

I heard the woman leave after a few minutes and I covered my ears scared as words went through my head… loneliness, all alone, he isn't here to be with me, to make me feel that emotion that made everything all right. He wasn't here.

I closed my eyes in terror, loss, agony as tears ran down my face but soon my wallowing disappeared as I went into unconsciousness.

I felt a vibration all around me, as if a small voice was calling my name but couldn't make it out "Da-"

It said in desperation and dark red surrounded me, all in my vision. It was so warm, so safe in this place and even though I felt squished, like I was inside some form of organ… it felt like home. I looked around and saw this tiny pale green peanut shaped thing move about in front of me. It had these black orbs but nothing else and I could hear a small squeal of sound as it mumbled,

"Da…"

I reached my hand out and held it, it felt so soft in my fingers, like the smallest pressure could squash it but all I felt inside was warmth… I only wanted… to love it. And be safe in this small red spongy organ.

"N-nr…" I mumbled as my eyes wearily opened, I could hear talking around me in soft muffles and I slowly rose my head out of the darkness looking about barely at the murky people in the room. I realised gradually that my glasses had fallen off and reached about under the blanket for them, feeling the thin long metal side of one end and picking them up. I fixed them onto my face tiredly and saw in the room two men with white coats and my sister. I soon realised that one of the men were my father and I sat up irritated seeing them talking before Professor Membrane noticed and looked at me saying.

"Why, he's awake right now."

"What are you doing in here?" I mumbled awakening more and the other man turned to look at me. He said in a confident concerned way.

"We were just saying that we think… you'll be in the hospital for a while."

"How long?" I asked quickly not letting a word in edge way.

They all looked at each other before glancing back at me and Membrane said.

"Well son, you see. Because of modern day technology you'd be able to leave in five days, based on medical anyway."

"Okay." I said but disliked that I had to stay here for even one more day.

"Yes but we are concerned about your mental health." the doctor said slowly and I stared at him confused, whispering.

"What do you mean?"

"Your sister told us that you tried to commit suicide because your boyfriend broke up with you?"

I felt like glaring at Gaz but kept my angered furrowed browed face on the man and said, "No, we're together."

"Look we know teenage years can be hard, emotions run high, it's your hormones that do it… but we'd feel a lot better sending you home if we knew you had spent some time in the psychiatric ward."

I looked at him perplexed, my eyes widening in confusion… they thought I was crazy?

"I don't need a psychiatric ward. I need to go home and rest."

"We think some time apart from your boyfriend would do you some good."

"How would you know?" I shouted suddenly in rage "You don't know me, if anything it'll be worse for me!"

"Calm down sonny." Membrane said quickly, putting his hands out in a calming waving way but it had no effect on me "I didn't even know you were gay, let alone in a relationship."

"I love Zim. You don't understand!" I mumbled in trembles "If I'm not with him I'll _SUFFOCATE! _I CAN'T _BREATHE_ WITHOUT HIM!_"_

The three moved back slowly in fret at my reaction as I clung to the side of the bed, leering out at them in desperation. Gaz seemed the most concerned as she stamped suddenly forward yelling.

"See DIB, that's the problem! You're too dependent on him for your _happiness_!" she seemed to be boiling up in rage as she screamed "What if Zim does something else that upsets you? How do we know you won't turn to the knife again?"

"Because I know the reason why he did it…" I said barely in fear at her worry for me "and we resolved it."

"It'd only be for around three weeks," the doctor said calmly and my eyes went watery hearing this, "We just want you to be safe."

"Nooo," I said, my voice becoming muted in tears "P-please."

"It's for your better, Dib." Membrane said in sadness from seeing me this way and came over, placing his hand on my shoulder but I flinched away in hate of him. I HATED THEM ALL.

"We'll transfer you there in a couple of days." the doctor said with sincerity and the little kindness he could give at this moment but it didn't make me feel a _bit_ better.

I watched them in silence as I felt stupid resentment at this fact… but there was nothing I could do about it at the moment with the state I was in. I'd have to stay, for a little while at least.

I gripped the sides of my mattress frustrated as I slumped back down on the soft bed and breathed out in hate, the three just seeming to be watching my every move and Gaz said annoyed.

"God, don't be such a baby about it."

I didn't even bother to respond, not when I was so mad and upset and I just stared ahead at the black television screen, my chest raising and falling in coldness. The two men shifted about uncomfortably but Gaz kept a dead stance with low dark eyes.

"Okay Dib," the doctor said nicely and clasped his hands together as if trying to finish something "We'll let you sleep, nurses will be in every hour to check on you."

I didn't respond and my dad just looked at me, his shadow falling over my head before the three began to leave. Gaz was last out and stared back slowly at me with what seemed like could be empathy but there was hate and confusion mixed in with it and I just closed my eyes not wanting to have her in my view at all. I heard the door close quietly and I lay there, my eyes feeling heavy as I tried to sleep and not let this prison engulf me in sorrow. The sound of silence with a few foot steps outside in the hall spread through me until I could hear nothing and the lights seemed to turn a dim blue night shade.

I just breathed in and out… trying to forget until tomorrow.

The whitish sunlight lit through the blinds slowly and hit my forehead, making me feel warmth as I hugged myself still dreamy. I flickered my eyes opened only just and felt the speedy disappearance of the fuzziness I had felt in that red organ I was in, the familiar voice I heard being muffled into the spongy walls on the outside and the green peanut creature in my hand, cuddling up into my flesh as if it had known me all its life. And now, I was alone again. I shuddered in my bed as I breathed out slowly and looked around, feeling the early hours of the day approach me. It was 10:02 on the circular clock that hung on the wall to my far side and I sighed. I wanted to get out of the bed but as I sat up I could feel the stitches in my gut hurt me and I hit the nightstand to my side in anger that I was still in unnecessary pain. All it did, this pain, was remind me of that moment yesterday when Zim had told me he was using me and even though it was all a lie it made me scared now that I was so easily thrown off everything. I had so easily broken down, and this hurt reminded me of those words… those painful non true words. Zim couldn't so simply hurt me like that again, or else next time I mightn't be found in time… but at least I was sure he knew that. I stretched my face down with my pale hand in fear, fear that maybe I was too unstable. But there was so much terror in me, so much agony at love and hope and living life for just that one person. That one alien. I would try to get out of here as soon as I could… I would get help, at least I WOULD _try_.

As I sat there I felt a longing for him, to be near him and it felt so strong… I missed him so much but at least when I did arrive home, my new home would be Zim's house, and we could be together always. Always together and that was one thing I wanted so much. No one understood how I felt, no one got me, only Zim… and only then, God I wish he could feel my emotions and read my thoughts so he knew my every second, knew my soul just like I had discovered his.

The hours seem to pass by slowly and, nurses came in every once and a while to see how I was doing but that was all, no visitors, no Zim. At half one I was getting nervous that he hadn't showed up and asked one of nurses when visiting hours began.

"They start at two o clock to five o clock." she said with a quick polite smile before walking out in a flustering way and I fell back on the bed impatient.

I looked at the clock in boredom as it ticked one second at a time, the minutes going by every sixty and I blinked my eyes warily, sad that they had to have God dam visiting hours, why couldn't they just let people come whenever. They did it for the dying, well… I _was_ dying.

Knock, knock,

I blinked up to the door as I saw a green skinned alien with lenses as eyes come in with a bit of eagerness in himself as he stood over me and said with an annoyed face "Hello Dib, yes Dib, how are you?"

I looked at him confused at his indifferent attitude and said "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh nothing," he said quick and casual "but you'll just probably tell me that you wished I got you and I'd just like to reassure that I get you quite fine, an Irken can analyse its enemy to the very last inch."

"Wait-" I said cutting him off, how did he know that I wished he could get me more, and what was this about "Enemy?"  
"Oh right, old habits" he said quickly not observant than seemed to add instantaneously but with a slow tone "But I'm here to tell you Dib that I do get you." he slipped to the side of the bed as he sat down and looked at me a little off beat, "But it's time to _bond_." he said that word in a mixed way, some of it sounding like _oh God, do I have to do this _while the half was of a deep needing for something to be expressed.

"Zim, you're confusing me and I've been studying you for years." I said nervous and he cracked up into a crazy laugh.

"HA HA HA HA HA! No Dib, I mean… I have needs…"

"Well we're talking aren't we?" I asked more confused and he grabbed my hand, rotating one of his gloved fingers around the palm slowly as what seemed to be to try to _tickle_ me? I blinked at him in more bewilderment and when he saw my face his lips slipped down in a frown.

"I see I'm confusing you." he replied blankly and looked around the room cautiously as if his primitive instincts were really acting up before saying "I need to be close to you right now Dib… okay? I can't explain it. But I'll be coming as much as I can."

Something didn't feel right when he said he couldn't explain it… like he was lying or didn't want to tell me something. He always knew everything, or at least would assume he did so why was he telling me this. He seemed to sense that I was thinking too hard about this and said in a sharp voice.

"I'm not hiding any information from you Dib."

"I never said you were?" I said confused that he knew what I was thinking and he lay down on the bed, snuggling up to me and almost making me forget about the whole thing. But this was even queerer. Why would he suddenly snuggle when he never did that unless after sex? He usually did that to thank me and not make me feel used but this just didn't make sense.

"Why do you think so much?" he said tired of me for some reason and I looked at him with low eyes "You analyse way too much… can't you just LIVE."

"No, just that you're acting real weird… and you're keeping something from me."

"You are just being paranoid, it's an old habit around me."

"Zim I haven't been paranoid since we got together."

"Wow, two weeks of NOT being paranoid, I'm so impressed."

I smiled annoyed at this, "Yeah well, sorry." and I thought to myself about what he had said about being close "Is this a pregnancy thing? Being close? As in physically or emotionally or what?"

His frown went lower and he blew out, his hand leaving my palm and grabbing my hair, running his fingers through them and I was getting a really weird feeling of what this was coming to. In me I felt a strong urge to be close to Zim as well, but I almost felt as if this was naturally, being I always wanted to be around him.

"Zim there's something I have to tell you," I said nervously but felt kind of tingly with the fingers playing in my hair and he looked at me, what seemed to be confident as he said.

"Yes I know, that you feel an urge to be with me as well."

"Err, no." I said fast catching him out and one of his eyes narrowed suspicious.

"What is it then?"

"Just that the doctor. He's being a fucking asshole. He said I should spend some time away from you; that they're sending me to a psychiatric ward for a few weeks."

His eyes widened in hearing this as if in total shock and he shouted furious "WHY THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY CAN DO _THAT_?"

His reaction actually pleased me a little, seeing that this was as painful for him as it was for me and I said quickly "Well you can talk to them, tell them that I don't need to go to a ward. I mean no one has ever believed me but I'm sure you can change their mind!"

"Dib I've got a healing formula at my lab, my cruiser is cloaked in invisibility and hovering just outside this window. If you want I can take you to my lab where you can stay."

He said this all so quickly and in a low whispery voice and my heart beat quickly in the sudden suggestion. I could go back to Zim's place, get all fixed up and everything but what about my mental health? I was still unstable, still prone to fallen into deep depression and desperation so easily and I looked at him with worried shaky eyes.

"Your brain is fine Dib." Zim said quickly as if answering my unspoken question and then said in hurried panicky words "Dib I just can't be away from you that long!"

"Zim this all sounds crazy!" I said in disillusionment and bit my lips anxious "I mean, they'd come searching for me! And when they find me at your place you'll be arrested and maybe even exposed!" I was basically shrieking in crazy fear and he panted heavily as if all his emotions were boiling up too.

"Dib! The smeet needs you! It's, it's-" he stopped with dodgy eyes not sure if he should say "…I can control it for now, but I've read about a pregnancy of an Irken and this is how instinctual partnership is made!"

I didn't want to say but this was really freaking me out. It didn't seem real, how could a baby even be a threat to Zim, and what did he mean by control it? It wasn't actually taking over his body, was it? There was so much he wasn't explaining properly.

"Zim! How is a pregnancy for an Irken?"

"AGONISING!" he said urgently "It, it- ZIM is more superior than it, but… it's just instinctual to be near the partner who produced the seamen. I can not believe I am telling you this."

"Why not?" I asked confused and he rolled his large eyes saying in annoyance.

"Because by knowing something over you it gives me strengths," he than widened his eyes in horror that he said that "Why am I telling you so much about the Irkens?"

"I thought you would because we're together?" I said kind of hurt at the way he was behaving. So he had been keeping things from me? Why would he do that, I told him everything.

"Dib don't feel inferior feelings over this!" he screamed frustrated at me and I shrunk back from him on the bed. All of a sudden he climbed hastily on top of me and I looked up at his smiling face in terror at what he was trying to do.

"I don't know! I just need to be closer to you!" he said in hurriedness and I stared at him surprised he knew what I was… thinking.

"Zim," I said slowly as if coming to a realisation and he looked back at me in vulnerability of it all "Can you… read my thoughts?"

"MMMM!" he mumbled out with his lips sealed shut and his hands grabbed mine as he lay flat on me in desperation "There's something else I found out about Irken pregnancy."

"What?"

"I'll be wanting a lot of intercourse with you."

"What?" I said, trying to laugh at this and he squirmed about on me as if in deep irritation.

"Well you see because Irkens are unisex we try to impregnate each other."

"Right." I said still thinking this was kind of funny and he glared at me, his face only two inches away as if I didn't get something.

"DIB." he said seriously and clawed up further to my face

"I need to get you

Pregnant."

My face went blank in hearing that. Knowing that that was impossible. It just wouldn't work… but I knew nothing about the Irken breeding ritual and didn't know how strong Zim's instincts for this were.

"Dib, I am not going to stop trying to get you pregnant until I have this smeet." he said in a dead voice.

My body froze… the alien I was in love with was going to try and impregnate me -which was impossible- for the next nine months.

"DIB!" he moaned in desperation on me and I could feel his boiling heat radiate into me. Zim would soon become a sex maniac; maybe he already was one… and if he was unisex… he must have a penis as well as a split.

I swallowed nervous and freaked out by this.

… I should've worn a condom…

* * *

Well that was chapter ten and it's starting to get a little crazy I feel, but one of my methods of writing is to never have anything set in stone. Sorry it took so long to update but the Leaving Cert is coming up real soon so I really gotta study. Hope this satisfies whoever is reading this and r&r if you like it. Bye! Next chapter might take a while to get up.

(And by the way, I've watched commentary on this show and it's based in the future so if Dib healing completely in five days seems a bit quick, just remember it_ is_ set in the future so they have the technology)

Adiós!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Okay Zim, we just have to calm down!" I said quickly as he squirmed about on me, he looked at me with beady eyes and I felt like holding him, first to comfort and second because he was vibrating in fear. I grabbed his legs pulling them up as I held him in a cradle but he just pushed me away saying angrily.

"NO! It's my turn to be the male!" and I felt his fingers lifting up my hospital gown quickly but I grabbed his hands stopping him.

"We can't do anything here!" I said in haste and he stared into my eyes in need, "its broad daylight!"

"You wanted to have sex yesterday!" he replied snappily and I breathed heavily in annoyance.

"And what? How are you going to impregnate me? I DON'T HAVE THE ORGANS!"

"Don't lie!" he said fast pushing me over as he held my body against the bed and I sweated quickly at how this situation had turned "I've seen you humans with bellies of smeets!"

"Those are the females!" I shouted obviously "I'm male! I'm not unisex!"

"rrrrgh," he growled frustrated and let go of my hands, sitting on my chest and thinking in silence for a few seconds. I was giving out little pants before he turned his head down with a little smile as a thought arose and said, "Dib, silly… I never explained to you about Irken seamen before."

"Err no," I said quickly and calmly, feeling the heat of his knees on my chest warm me and almost felt kind of soothing in a way "But I'd like to find out about it now if it has something to do with me getting _pregnant_."

"Do you want to get pregnant by me Dib…? If what I think might work?" He seemed quite serious in saying this and stared at me with still eyes, waiting for my honest reply. It scared me, this whole talk of getting pregnant. I knew that my body wasn't built for it… how would it work? But at the thought of having Zim's child in me? God! Was I going crazy or something because I actually thought it'd be pretty neat… having a part of him in me. NO this was crazy! How could it even work. I looked up at him slowly, gulping and he smiled.

"I think you just answered me Dib." he said with contentment and I raised one of my eyebrows confused by this, but then remembered stupidly that he could read my thoughts.

"Oh," I said barely with a nervous smile but then added scared "But how."

"Irkens are meant to be infertile, we can't impregnate each other, but that just makes me think, maybe my sperm can impregnate other species just like you impregnated me."

"Yes, yes." I said quickly frustrated by this but then added "But how? How can you get me pregnant without performing an operation on me?"

He grinned darkly and I never liked that look on him.

"Dib." he said in a cunning voice "Us Irken don't have the some reproductive organs as humans. None of us have a womb; our seamen connect to the digestive system of whatever species it is inside."

"So… I don't need any woman organs?" I muttered realising this slowly and he nodded with an evil face, "But how the hell am I meant to give birth?"

He leaned his head right up to the side of my face and whispered licking my ear "Push."

"OH _GOD!_" I shouted in horror "If it's going to connect to my digestive system then the only way it's gonna come out is my hole!"

"So?" Zim asked wrapping his arms around me as I shook in fear "I heard a woman's can stretch to quite a large diameter."

"Mine will rip open and kill me!" I replied in a scream and he made a _tut tut_ sound with his lips saying blankly.

"If it scares you so I could perform a caesarean."

"Yes." I said quickly in a blunt voice, my face obvious of that "That would be very much what I'd want."

I sat up nervously, Zim's arms still hugging me and I looked ahead of me to the door in still a little panic as people walked by with no knowing of our lives and how complicated they were becoming.

"But Zim…" I said kind of nervous and he leaned back, looking at my face with a calm smile "Is it really… that important?"

He stared into my eyes deeply, and I wondered what he was thinking so thoughtfully about.

He smiled with reassurance and replied slowly "Dib. If it doesn't get done, I will soon become violent. I will not be able to control myself around you and may even try to ra- force you into submission." He said with a flinch, trying to find better words and almost felt guilty in himself at how his primitive instincts were controlling him "Please." he said holding my chin with his finger and I looked at him breathing deeply "Either get me locked away or do this."

I just stared into his beautiful face, his words so powerful on me and without thinking I leaned forward and kissed him, our warm moist lips slipping into place and I gasped, pushing his top lip in between my two. I could feel him smiling and he pushed me over again, holding me against the bed and running his lips down my neck and pulling my gown over me with his hands. I laughed at how crazy this all was… this whole idea but my thoughts soon became idle as I turned over onto my belly and Zim hurriedly pulled down my thin underpants. I could hear him pulling down his pants and suddenly a sharp unexpected hot long thing pierced hard into me and I bit my lip in the sudden agony I felt, gripping onto the sheets as I was heaved forward and I heard Zim moan in some sort of sensation.

I felt his shaft slide in and out quickly as if it was very lubricated and felt feeling in parts of my body where I had never felt it before. I gasped hard at the strangest most foreign sensation I had ever felt but it actually felt kind of smooth and wet… and because it was Zim who was doing it I know this might sound really girly, but it felt… home. It didn't matter if it was me in him or him in me anymore, it was that we were connected in this special way, that neither of us had shared with anyone else and- OH! GOOD GOD! I suddenly felt an explosion in me and millions of microscopic sperm filling my insides rapidly, going through my large intestine, which I didn't even think I could feel and felt a small tiny bite into my organ before a small vibration through my body.

"Ah-AHH!" I screamed shakily and Zim held me down whispering softly and comfortingly into my ear.

"I feel it Dib. I feel how you feel and it is just the one dominant sperm that has bitten you first killing all the others with a small electric wave."

He pulled out of me slowly and I collapsed onto the bed, my sore butt sticking up barely in the still mounting position and he laughed kindly.

"It's over."

"But…" I said quickly in a nervous voice that I was saying this "I don't want it to end."

With that he burst out into insane laughter and got up, fixing his pants on before I turned slowly onto my back and looked at him with a dizzy smile "Okay, that was FANTASTIC!"

He shook his head giggling and came over, getting on his knees as his face was close to mine and he said with an almighty voice "Of course it was! IT WAS ZIM!"

"HA HA!" I laughed and pulled his face to mine with my hands, kissing him hard and our lips did rapid movements in excitement.

"This is brilliant!" Zim said as he looked into my eyes when we separated, "You will carry my Child, we can go through this together."

"Yes" I replied tiredly with a worn out smile as I lay back on my bed, my hand stroking his face softly. I actually felt kind of fuzzy inside now, like I had pins and needles in my belly but it slowly faded and I watched Zim as he pulled up a chair and sat down on it, sitting quite still in patience.

I looked at him nervously, as a question had popped into my head and I decided it was important to know, "Err Zim," I said shyly and he concentrated more on me even though his eyes had not been away "How long does it take an Irken…_smeet_ to develop anyway?"

"For Irkens" he said quickly replying as if in command to the question that was given "It takes one earth year… but for humans… you produce more blood because you naturally have bigger bodies than us so… it might be a lot quicker for… you." He seemed to be realising this as he said it and I could tell he was configuring something in his mind as his eyes had the glazed look about them.

I gulped in hearing that, the longest I could be like this would be for twelve months but if what he was saying was true, well an adult human was twice the size of a normal Irken so would this mean the smeet be double as fast in growth? I was actually starting to freak out a little as now we hadn't thought of the actual labour time and _what if Zim wasn't with me?_

"Don't panic Dib." He said quickly in almost a commanding voice as he was trying to get a control of the situation "I'll be prepared. We don't need to worry about anything."

"As soon as I get out of here." I said a little panicky "I'm moving in with you, like you said."

"Yes, of course. It wouldn't be any other way. You are too important to me to have anything happen to you."

I sighed a breath of great relief as I felt a weight lift off my chest but then another realisation hit me again like I was being shelled with bombs this whole day "Oh my God, we're going to have children… we're going to be parents! Ahh! AHH!" I didn't know why I was screaming, maybe because I had been hit with so many things and Zim looked at me completely freaked out by my reaction.

"Calm yourself!" He shouted annoyed in a stamp "Why are you screaming"

"Because of my life… I'm going to be a dad…" I said nearly going into silence as my voice got smaller and smaller. I would be one of the only two people that my children would be able to rely on. I was going to have a family… everything, e-everything was going to be… good. Zim must have been reading my thoughts as his cheeks went a dark green in embarrassment or uncomfortable at what I was thinking but he shook his head even reading this and said in a broken up voice.

"No… just the life you were thinking, that we're going to for once be loved unconditionally. That our children will look up to us for everything they need… normally I would hate the idea, but. It's wonderful, and I don't understand why."

"Children," I said nervously and blushed a little myself, my cheeks going a light shade of pink "are meant to be the evidence of two people who love each other."

He stared at me, unhinged a little bit, not sure of what was going on and smiled slowly, getting up from the chair and just then the nurse came in and looked at Zim, her face going angry as she said.

"Sorry no visitors besides family"

"He's my cousin." I said in a hard voice, and she shook her head replying like the unbelievable bitch she was, the first impression I had gotten off her anyway.

"Only immediate family. Doctors' and family's orders."

"You've got to be joking." Zim said immediately and she stared at him, her eyes in a heated slit.

"We were warned not to let you see him by the family's order. So please leave before I ask for assistance."

No! They couldn't do this! I looked at the woman and then Zim showing them both my rage and upset in my eyes at how my family was trying to control me.

"I DECIDE WHO I SEE!" I shouted almost instantly after she said 'assistance' and Zim looked at the woman in hate, but said in a calm voice.

"Look. What if I wait outside…I-I just can't be too far away."

She stared at him confused at this and replied coldly "You're not allowed on the premise while Dib Membrane is here."

"NO!" I cried furious, going into a frantic upset frenzy on my bed "You can't tell me who I can't _see_!" tears streaming down my face and the nurse turned her head furious to Zim who blinked surprised at this.

"You've upset him!" She said furious and he lowered his eyes in shock at this.

"No I did not!"

But she had already ran to the door and shouted over to some nurses. In a few seconds there were some men in the room wearing pink scrubs and they looked at my drained face then Zim's before advancing on him quickly. I could hear him growl in anger and defence but he said in hate at this behaviour.

"This is barbaric!"

Before going to the door and leaving. I could sense he only did so because he felt forced. I glared at the people left in the room in anger but suddenly felt a painful groan in my gut and held my stomach, with a sickly face quickly coming upon me.

"Oh God…" I said weakly before staring at the people as they slowly left "I'm really hungry, can anyone get me something to eat?"

"Dinner will be at six." The bitch nurse told me in a high almighty voice and I said in anger, not giving an fucking time to when it was,

"Well I have to eat something now!" I said quickly, the hunger pains suddenly becoming more distinct and she rolled her eyes saying.

"_Fine_, I'll get someone to bring you in a sandwich."

"Fine" I replied sharply still in a slightly irritated way and she left me, finding myself once again alone and at the hospitals doing. I grit my teeth, annoyed at this… these people… taking away the only person that made me happy, they just didn't understand how important our time together was. I felt a buzz whenever Zim was near me, like he was literally bringing my body to life and these people thought he was a threat. Maybe it was just instinct. Like their subconscious knowing he wasn't from this world but their minds not able to make heads or tails of this inkling. But I tried to remind myself, like I had thought over yesterday, that I should not be so dependent… it was hard keeping to this word for whenever I saw Zim I always felt like I desperately needed him with me… why did love have to be so fucking confusing. Maybe some of it was true to what the doctor had said yesterday, that some of it was due to hormones… but that was just my personality in reality, even when Zim had first come I was obsessed so hormones really didn't play a part. I suddenly gulped remembering the smeet I was carrying inside of me and thought, was it safe to be far away from Zim… for what if something went wrong with the pregnancy? It had only been twenty minutes since I had been impregnated and what if my body couldn't handle having something grow inside me? I didn't care, it was one joyful thing that Zim was carrying my baby, it was a second blessing that I was able to carry his. And what would it look like when it was born? If Zim's appearance was anything to go by it would be beautiful, a small baby Irken. My stomach groaned in hunger pains taking me out of my head as I held my belly in ache… but it was a weird sort of hurt, like when I had stabbed myself, it felt warm and almost kind of fuzzy and cherishing, like I had butterflies in my stomach.

After a few minutes a different nurse came in with a tray, a sandwich on a plate being held by it and pulled over the hospital bed table for me to eat on. Man I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten and I stared at the sandwich, licking my lips in anticipation at the taste.

"What flavour is it?" I asked quickly, glancing up at her as she placed it down in front of me and she said in a duty type of voice, as if just doing her job.

"Ham and cheese."

My eyebrows lowered a little in hearing that, disappointment showing just the slightest, but I shook it off and picked up a slice of the sandwich as soon as she had left. I took a greedy big bite and could taste the salt of the ham and the tang of the cheese, swallowing it down in impatience for it had been ages since I had ate and I sunk back in heaven, God that was good.

I continued eating and after one minute there was no evidence that a sandwich had ever been in the room. I lay back on my bed in satisfaction and rubbed my stomach in peace but heard it wheeze inside of me anyway. I rolled my eyes, being reminded that I was now eating for two and that the baby would be absorbing probably half of what ever I ate. I blinked my eyes suddenly confused at this, would I get a big belly? I didn't care either way, I didn't care what people thought… I barely even considered myself on the same mind waves as the people of earth. So STUPID they were; never believing me and why so many years had I tried to save them when all they ever did was call me crazy and beat me up for it. I was happy that Zim didn't care about that anymore, but to be honest… even I in the end really didn't care about if the earth ended… no one had really loved me… until him.

The time passed at a casual pace and when I heard a dead walk coming towards my door I knew immediately who it was. Gaz came in with an air of hate surrounding her and I stared at her, a low brow remembering what she had said yesterday but had to remind myself… she had also saved my life.

She stared at me with her low golden eyes and said as if confused as to why she was even here,

"How's it in here?"

I looked at her puzzled by this question and replied "I hate it obviously,"

"So it was a waste saving you then" she said darkly and I got hurt by that, which clearly showed on my face. She stared at me and said in an uncomfortable voice "Was it a waste Dib? You tell me? Are you just gonna try this crap again?"

I breathed in barely and said in a brave voice "No…

…Thank you."

She blinked, if Gaz had the word surprised in her vocabulary, I would've said that she was surprised at my answer but she only stared at me, standing far away in an observing stance.

"The nurse told me Zim came today."

"Yeah?" I said quickly seeing her expressionless face "He's allowed to come, I can see who I want."

"Is he really good for you, Dib?" she asked in a non caring voice "Tell me that."

"He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"To be blatantly plain, not much has happened to you yet. You're only sixteen." She responded coldly and I stared hard at her.

"A sixteen year old who has _travelled_ in space, fought against alien empires and is having a-" I cut myself off in that second, realising I had nearly told Gaz about the smeets and she looked at me, not giving any hint of this sudden end.

"I meant in life… you've never even kissed a girl. Or gone to a disco or house party?"

"And you _have?" _I replied snappily at her judgemental view and she didn't say anything for a moment.

"I hate all living things." She finally said in a slow voice as if that had been obvious ever since she was a baby "I thought that was clear to everyone, especially you."

"Then why did you save me?" I asked quietly, looking down to my belly and holding it… thinking of the living thing I had inside of me and Gaz was silent. She looked confused by this, as if not wanting to admit something… not wanting to say that she did not want me to die, that she cared for me.

She finally raised her head off from the view of the ground and pierced a gaze at me in abhorrence "So I could kill you myself one day."

"Come on." I said in a cold upset voice by this and she said nothing more on the subject.

"You'll be going," she finally said talking about something else and took a dead breath out "in a few days to the psychiatric ward," she then grinned darkly at this "Lucky you."

"I don't need a fecking psychiatric ward. And how will it help me with any of my emotional problems being in a place with a bunch of nuts?"

"How Dib?" she suddenly said angrily with a stamp "because they will talk about your problems! You'll be with other people who have tried to commit suicide."

"Along with all the crazies." I muttered in hate of it and then said in a spiteful voice "Will Zim _be_ able to visit me?"

"What do _you_ think?" she replied coldly and that really upset me, they honestly wouldn't let me see him while I was trapped in a cold isolating place away from the world.

"If I don't see him I'll only get depressed." I said quietly in pain and she sneered annoyed.

"Dib, you really don't understand anything." She said in frustration, "You have to get better, you have to get mentally better. YOU have to learn how to control yourself without him! YOU CAN'T EVER TRY _THIS_ AGAIN!"

She was shaking in rage and I moved back on my bed, my spine against the bed rest in fear and confusion as to why she was yelling. Why she was so angry. It didn't make sense.

"…why didn't Dad come today?" I asked then quietly in weak voice and she folded her arms, still shaking slightly as she turned her head away and said looking through the window, her voice shallow.

"He had to host his show today."

I looked at her hurt by this. But my dad had never really cared about me, he was never there to celebrate a birthday or even for Christmas or Easter. So why would I expect him to show up anymore after yesterday.

"Okay." I said barely and looked down with watery eyes so that Gaz wouldn't see "I guess his show is important."

"Grow a pair Dib." She replied looking at me with her same heated face "A real man doesn't let emotion rule him only."

But I wasn't a man yet, and her telling me to grow a pair just didn't make me feel good. It made me feel weak… and in everything I had done in life, calling me not a man was a cold thing to say.

"You can leave now, Gaz." I said in a quiet voice and she stared at me with still eyes "I don't need someone making me feel sad and useless. Especially someone who doesn't care."

She slit her eyes, her face unreadable as she walked to the door breathing heavily like she was finding it hard to take in air… and I could only imagine was because she had so much hate in her.

I heard the close of the door and shut my eyes softly, breathing slowly in through my noise and out through my mouth before my stomach groaned a little and I got the fuzzy feeling back inside of me.

This was all so crazy and messed up and I longed for things to be simple again. For mine and Zim's being together being like it was a week ago, with no force trying to keep us apart. And keeping me in this hospital.

The days went by… and I didn't see him in any of them, but she came back and stayed only for a few minutes each day. Saying nothing for I could sense an unpleasant vibe from her, like she was angry about something in particular. The only thing that made me happy was when I dreamed, I'd dream about being inside that warm organ, holding that precious thing in my hand and being with Zim. My dreams were my only escape from the reality of staying in a bed, my legs becoming weak but the day came one morning when the doctor unplugged the blood bag and I stood up, a bit unsteady at first but I straightened up quickly, the doctor at my side ready to catch me if I fell. I would not allow to feel weak, not to the perpetrators who had banished Zim from my side.

"You okay there?" The young doctor asked, his hands hovering behind my back and I stared at him fed up with all this.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Your sister brought some of your clothes over. Do you think you can get changed?"

"Yes." I said quickly and walked wonky over to the chair where my clothes lay. He smiled friendly staying put as he watched me pick up my shirt and examining it before I glanced over at him and said in an annoyed voice.

"I'd like some privacy."

"Just pull the bed curtain, I'm not allowed to leave the room."

I grunted irritated by this as I pulled the thin white curtain across hiding me from view and quickly took off my hospital gown and pulled on my pants and shirt. I sat on the now empty chair to put on my shoes, vehemence steaming in me at all these stupid things I had to do, common day things which I hadn't done in a week and now for some reason found a burden. I pulled back the curtain and he said in a kind voice.

"Are you ready to go to your new ward?"

"How about no. I'm NOT CRAZY!" I said snapping but walked tiredly out the door and he quickly jogged ahead of me to lead the way.

"You'll be with a lot of adults," He said informatively "We don't often get a lot of teens, but there sometimes are a couple."

I just followed him with low dark eyes in hate and we walked for minutes on end, ending in about twenty when we finally reached these hard metal doors and he had to press a button to get them to open.

_What is the importune human doing?_

I blinked, for some reason I suddenly heard Zim's voice in my head and I thought to myself depressed, _oh God, I miss him so much that now I believe I am hearing him_.

My mind went silent as if in eerie shock before Zim's voice said slowly.

_Dib…? Can you hear me?_

I looked around cautiously before whispering back scared in my mind, _Oh my God, Zim… have you taken control of my mind?_

_No_, he said with a bit of happy quirk to his voice, _it has worked! The smeet you are carrying has taken a bit of my brainwave and now you can read my thoughts!_

"Ha ha!" I said in a laugh out loud, this couldn't be real and I started giggling in over joy at what was now happening, _This is, this is brilliant! Oh sweet Jesus Zim! I can feel how you feel! I can hear your thoughts!_

_Calm down! I'm breaking you out of there! _He said hurriedly and I glanced about warily, scared at this sudden reply.

The doctor looked back at me confused as he saw me slow down and said to me annoyed and confused "Dib? Come on."

I blinked up, noticing my slowing pace and walked on quickly as he took me to a small room with just a bed and a TV and said nicely as I stood there in silence, my mind to drawn into the sensations I was feeling from Zim, as if he was busying himself preparing something.

"A nurse will be here in a few moments to accompany and will stay with you for the rest of the day, you will have some counselling sessions later on, this is your room, normally a patient must share with others but because you are only sixteen we thought it best to separate you."

"Yes, thank you." I said trying to pay attention and he nodded, sitting down on the bed as he waited for the nurse.

I stood there uncomfortably for I could not here Zim's vocal thoughts anymore and I bit my lip scared as to why he had to break me out. I knew he could read my fear and wandered why he hadn't thought anything back but reminded myself that Zim was a different creature to me and that maybe he had better control over the thoughts he submitted than I did.

I gazed up when a lady came into the room and talked to the doctor before he waved goodbye and left in a casual stroll.

_Zim! _I pleaded quickly in my mind as the lady talked to me and asked if I wanted to walk around "Yes, WHATEVER!" I replied and thought quickly, _Please be careful, look it's fine now! We can read each other minds! You don't need to break me out… it'll be hard, but we can be together in thoughts and dreams! I'll be out in a few weeks- _but I suddenly couldn't even sense his feelings anymore and I swallowed scared that he was putting himself in unnecessary danger… because of me. And if they caught him trying to get into the building to see me…? I couldn't bear to think of what they might do…

_Please Zim_, I said in desperation with sorrow, _come back, talk to me…_

_I told you I can't be away from you Dib_, I gasped as I heard his voice say this seriously, _We have to be together… for the smeets… forever._

My eyes got watery and I wiped them barely with my fingers, the wetness dampening my skin… as I walked down the hall with the nurse, scared that the alien I loved,

…was making a big mistake.

* * *

Well that's it for chapter 11 and I hope you enjoyed it. If you did review, :D and I'm so sorry it took so long to update but I really shouldn't be writing at the mo because it's my Leaving Cert week! AHHH! What can I say... I just love to write.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

I breathed in and out panicky as I tried to steady myself. The nurse and I were walking down the hall just to pass time but my insides were scrunching up in total fear and horror. Zim was going to try and break me out? And my eyes grew watery just at the thought… everything would be alright if he just let me stay here for a few weeks… but the smeets… they were so strong and empowering on him! They had not yet affected me very much but I only feared when in a few weeks, just like Zim's smeet had made it near impossible for him to stay away from me, that I would find it powerless not to be by his side. I was shaking as I walked and the nurse looked at me with an unsure smile as she said.

"It's okay, there's nothing to fear from these people… they've had some hard times too."

I just looked at her afraid and swallowed, nodding as I said barely "Y-yes."

"In around ten minutes they'll be a group session on in one of the gathering rooms if you want to go to that?" she asked kindly with just a bit of edge and I breathed in slowly… just trying to clear my thoughts… trying to center myself… OH! But it was sooooo _hard_!

I looked ahead, trying to get my mind off Zim and I saw some old people just walk around like zombies, looking to the ground and some yelling and hitting the walls in fury and confusion.

I blinked and saw a round lounge in the centre of the main area. I took a breath in as I went over to it and sat down, the nurse standing just to the side of me and looking at the patients going by.

I grabbed the cushions of the lounge with my fingers tightly as I tried to think and thought calmly, _Zim, please talked to me… if you're going to break me out it has to be discreet! PLEASE! It doesn't have to be done! _There was no response and I pulled my hand down my face in fret, my stomach groaning; and fuzziness coming just the slightest. I suddenly could sense something from around me and looked about the room barely, seeing a strange young pale man with dark bags under his eyes stare at me from the corner of the room. I shuffled about nervously and he just stared straight through me, getting up slowly and walking over in a weird off hinged type of walk.

The nurse looked at him quietly with wariness and he looked down at me with an expressionless face saying.

"You're so young."

I looked up confused and he suddenly raised his clammy hand to my black hair, scuffling it up and I pushed him away with low eyes.

"You must be special." He said with a grin and I pressed back against the lounge wary.

"I'm not special…" I replied barely and he sat next to me with a plump, staring straight into my eyes and said.

"I was told you were special… _so, _DON'T lie to me."

"Okay, David that's enough." The nurse said cautiously and he smiled kind of, saying to her with dark devilish eyes.

"He's special isn't he?"

"No… hey why don't you go to the cafeteria, lunch will be served soon."

He looked at her with a rising grin and then nudged his eyes back at me, making me uncomfortable as he said "Will he be coming?"

"Maybe later… come on." She said and grabbed his arm, pulling him up and David grabbed my arm softly, as if trying to pull me up as well.

"I'm not hungry." I lied and pulled my arm free easily. He just looked at me… before being led away by the nurse in the direction of the supposed cafeteria. She came back and sat down next to me, sighing out barely. I looked at her a bit wary before saying quietly.

"What was wrong with that guy?"

"He had a mental breakdown." She said back in a low voice and I moved about a little, trying to grab my bearings.

"Is he dangerous?"

"No…"

But for some reason I didn't believe her… all the people in here seemed dangerous. I felt an ache in my gut and said in soreness "I'm actually really hungry."

"Well come on then, lunch is being served at the moment." She said mundanely and got up leading the way and I hugged my stomach in pain as I followed.

The cafeteria was a white room with a tiled ground and the tables were square and spaced apart to give room to walk. People were in the queue for the counter where there were sandwiches and soup on trays and they picked up their food one at a time in a dead manner.

I walked slowly over and waited behind a tall skinny man watching as the people took one step at a time, closer and closer to the food. I could here crying in the background noise from a heavy woman and just the sound of silence as people ate in emptiness. I blinked realizing I had reached the trays and picked one up, turning around and looking at the people in the seats, just staring blankly down at their plates. I heard a whisper.

"_hey! Psss! Over here!_"

I looked to the side seeing David at a table with a small woman and it was him who was calling me. I quivered unsure of what to do… this man had gotten a strange lure towards me and it couldn't be trusted, but I looked to my side, reminding myself that I had the company of the nurse with me at all time.

I took a step towards the table but the nurse grabbed my shoulder saying quietly "You don't have to sit with him"

I lowered my eyes, feeling my fight against this authoritarian hospital and shoved her off me taking some more steps over saying "I want to."

I sat down, placing my tray hard onto the table but I made sure to sit in the opposite direction of David. He looked straight into my face as I took a slice of my sandwich and devoured it hungrily… he grinned and pointed to the small woman saying to me, "That's my mother… isn't she lovely."

I tried to ignore him and could sense that the nurse had taken a spot in the distance, away with all the other helpers and nurses. The woman to the side of David only looked in her twenties herself, but her face was completely drained with caved in cheeks and large wrinkly eyelashes.

_Dib! _I suddenly heard his oh so sweet metallic voice in my head and I froze my eyes, just looking down to the table as Zim spoke.

_Yes!_ I said joyously back and for a minute it was like I was seeing things through his eyes… I could see the lab and felt my body- or his body- busying itself with a concoction he had bustled up at the table, _What is it?_

_I've invented a hologram displaying device, _he replied quickly holding it up so I could examine it in my mind's eye.

_So you're coming here in a different disguise? _I said quickly and I could hear Zim laugh. I smiled relaxed a little, as there was no way he'd be found out now.

_I'm coming tonight, _he said in haste, _but I need to see who ever is watching you for the day so I can configure their image into the machine. _

I swallowed as I glanced around quickly and spotted my nurse talking casually to the other helpers. I slit my eyes trying to concentrate on her face and body, showing Zim the outfit she was wearing and I could sense him fiddling nubs and bolts on the device, putting her image into it.

_Okay, _he said quickly and I relaxed myself, looking quickly away back to my food and eating my other slice of the sandwich warily, trying to act normal.

_Now Dib, listen to me very carefully, _he said with an edge and I listened intensely to the voice in my head, _I've been watching things through your eyes ever since you've come to the ward and noticed you have a bathroom in your room._

_Yes, _I thought quickly notifying him on that instantly.

_When your nurse goes to the toilet later on today push your bed in front of it and lock her in there, I'll see this and then I'll quickly come into the hospital disguised as her and take you out but we have to be quick!_

_This is all so crazy! _I screamed in my head shaking about in worry and I could feel Zim's annoyance at my erratic response.

_Don't worry it'll work! _He yelled frustrated and I could start to feel him fade away which made me frantic as I begged quickly.

_Wait Zim!_ _Don't go… _

There was silence for a few seconds and I munched on my sandwich nervously as David watched me a bit wary.

_I'm not… I'll still be with you but just… you won't be able to feel or hear me. I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON THIS, _he shouted suddenly impatient and I felt him completely cut me off again which made me feel desperate that I couldn't feel him anymore and a tear slipped down my pale cheek in sadness.

"I know, I know."

I looked up slowly as I heard David talk to me with a smile "The food here is so bad that it makes you want to cry."

I stared at him silently hearing this and nodded barely, continuing on eating my food and he reached over, grabbing my wrist and said, staring straight into my eyes.

"It'll be alright…boy."

I didn't try to shake him off, the slice still in my hand and I replied scarcely "Dib."

"Cool name." he said grinning and let got of me slowly, returning back to his spot and I nodded, eating more and he continued to just stare… at me. He said after a few more seconds "Did… your girlfriend put you here?"

I felt kind of like laughing at that but shook my head with a smirk saying quietly "Something like that."

"Rachel…" he said in a broken voice, his eyes growing dry and I looked at him confused "She was so beautiful."

"Was…?" I muttered mystified and he stiffened, his eyes to the wall behind me and he started to breathe heavily in haste as he said in a quaky voice.

"They keep telling me she's dead, _but _she can't be… I feel her… she talks to me." He said, his voice breaking and I looked about nervously, seeing if anyone else was seeing this.

"She told me." He said suddenly, lurching forward onto the table, his skinny bony hands grabbing my side of it "That you were special."

"I told you already." I said a little scared and angry at this accusation "I'm NOT."

"You know how much it hurts to LOOSE someone you l-l-lo-"

"Is everything okay here?"

I quickly looked up to see my nurse and David shrank back quickly, in whimpers and tears as he fell onto the tiled ground and started screaming in agony, salty water pouring down his face and my eyes widened as I looked to the nurse who said to me.

"Come sit with us, okay."

I nodded fast and took my tray of the remaining bowl of soup and walked quickly over to the nurses' table sitting down in barely a sound and drank my soup… but watched in fear as David crawled mercilessly on the ground before some male nurses came over and picked him up, leading him out of the room.

"What happened to him?" I said to them forcefully and the nurses just looked at each other nervous before one said quietly.

"His girlfriend got hit by a car and died a month ago… she was pregnant with his child."

I froze in hearing that. And… Zim… the danger he was putting himself in, our child, because he couldn't be away from me… I started to breathe unsteadily, panting quickly and a nurse put her hand on my back as tears burst out of my eyes, and I couldn't stop! I-it was all so dangerous! _Why! Why did he have to do it! _I felt my stomach groan in pain and all I wanted was for him to be with me… for us to be _FREE! _For if he got killed…!

I wiped my face, and sat up straight… it wouldn't happen… it wouldn't. I was being erratic, Zim was a genius… he knew how to handle this situation. I gulped with a dry throat and finished the soup, getting up and leaving the room, my nurse quickly following me and she said kindly.

"Would you like to go to the meeting in the gathering room?"

"No." I whispered and put my hands on my stomach, thinking in no words but feelings to myself. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed. So that's where I headed.

I came into my small room and walked in dead steps to my bed, falling on it and wrapping myself up in the thin blankets, just looking to the white ceiling as the nurse sat down in the chair in the distance.

My eyes had red veins in them… my body feeling so weak and vulnerable and I was here in this place that was so… cold… lifeless… and alone. I tried to imagine that he was laying next to me… his hot warm green arms around me and keeping me safe from all the craziness… all this painful world, just holding me. I felt fuzzy and a little woozy as I lay there and closed my eyes, Zim's red eyes being the things I saw glow in the dark and I tried to smile as I imagined him being over me but when I opened my eyelids to see his face it was only the ceiling…

I sighed silently and cuddled into the quilts and then suddenly realized to myself… me and Zim had never been in a bed together alone…? Yes there had been the hospital… but it was so uncomfortable and there were people all around, we had never been in a soft warm bed… or anything.

I started to see darkness all around me as I began to fall asleep…

-_Dib! _I heard Zim call my name and I opened my eyes instantly stretching a little in the bed as I yawned and said out loud, "-Yes?"

_Don't fall asleep! You have no concept of time do you? _I shrugged happily to just hear his voice and he said annoyed, _you've been daydreaming for two hours now, I'm outside the hospital, get your nurse to go to the toilet._

_How? _I asked confused, _I mean there's no way to force her to go._

_Trick her, _he said in stretched out words of impatience and I lifted my head up from the bed, looking at the nurse as she read a newspaper making little noise. I felt a cold sweat come over my forehead and sat up on my bed, the nurse glancing at me for a second because of the slight movement before returning back to the paper.

"Err…" I said to her quickly and she looked back up at me.

"Yes Dib?"

"Could you check if there is a urine fountain in the bathroom?" I asked awkwardly trying to add a bit of neediness to it and she looked at me confused.

"I'm pretty sure there-"

"Please?" I asked pleadingly interrupting her before she could say _there isn't_, and she sighed, getting up and going into the room. I darted off my bed in that instant and ran to the door slamming it shut before jumping around panicky. I spotted the chair that she had been sitting on at once and shoved it under the handle, my body exhilarating in a total adrenaline rush.

"Dib!" She shouted angrily, rattling the door's handle in fury, "Let ME out."

I saw the chair slip a little from the movement of the door and bit my lip in terror, running to my bed and pulling it over to hold the chair in place. I turned the TV on quickly to drown out her furious yells and rushed to the door, glancing out ecstatic as I saw my same nurse walk up the hall in a hurry and I knew in that second it was Zim.

I came out of my room quickly, shutting my door and he came up, his steps in a march of hurriedness to me and said in a speedy wary whisper "Follow me."

"Okay ma'm." I said in haste and he grinned darkly turning around and walking down the hall in fast steps, I was just keeping up with out looking like I was jogging and he stopped at the office saying to one of the nurses.

"Dr. Salone wants to see Mr. Membrane for a second to tell him about his blood results."

He didn't sound anything like the nurse but tried his hardest and the woman looked at him warily saying.

"I don't remember hearing anything about that..."

"It was a REcent development." He said trying to keep calm and she lowered her eyebrows, but for the thank of GOD shrugged and pressed the door open button, and we walked as normally as we could out of the ward and into the main hospital. Zim waited till the automatic doors closed before grabbing my hand, which made me jump over the moon to have his touch again in so many days, and pulling me down the hall a little before pushing open the exit doors and we were in the car park.

"OH ZIM!" I shouted in over joy and was about to throw him into a embracing hug but he stopped me by outstretching his arm and saying.

"We have to get to the voot cruiser."

"Where is it?" I asked quickly and he grabbed my hand wildly pulling me over to the corner of the building and pulled out another device, pressing a button on it and the cruiser appeared hidden behind a bush.

"QUICKLY _NOW!_" he shouted and opened the glass roof pulling me inside and descending the glass over us again, cloaking the cruiser in invisibility before his hologram came off and I could see him as the truly beautiful alien he was.

"Zim," I whispered in a soft voice, we were so safe and alone in this small place and he barely glanced at me as he started up the ship and began to ascend upwards.

"Yes…Dib."

I looked at him once he said my name and smiled; reaching my pale hand over to his gloved one that was on the joystick and wrapped my fingers in his. He was silent as he seemed to loose concentration, his red eyes becoming blank in thought that I wish he would let me read, before he put the cruiser on hover above the skyscrapers and looked over at me with still eyes.

And suddenly I could feel his emotions… his warmth of his feelings that seemed so overpowering and he lifted my hand up with his, wrapping his other arm around my skinny waist and looked into my eyes with a sullen face. He was so silent as he stared at me and it would have made me nervous but his warm exploding feelings filled my body like a drug and I leaned my head forward, pushing my lips to his hot neck, before letting go of his hand and wrapping my arms instantly around his body, bringing him close to me and as our flat chests touched in the embrace I sighed deliriously, hugging him even tighter.

"…Dib," he muttered barely and I had my eyes closed, hardly even hearing him "We have to get to the base… and I can't have you distracting me."

"Mmm...?" I murmured and he smirked in superiority, raising his arm and pushing me back so he could stare into my face.

"I've read that in human males that they often can't pay attention to words when they're doing something physical."

"I…" I said shyly with a pinkness coming over my cheeks "I just want to have you in my touch, please…"

"Can't you wait till we get to the base?"

"I only want to hold your hand… or something."

His face went still in uneasiness before I could feel his emotions being pulled away from my mind and I startled a little as I held onto him tighter and said.

"Please don't take your mind away from me Zim!"

"I'm not…"

"I want to feel what you feel ALL the _time._" I pleaded and he pushed me back from him as I stared at him with heart broken eyes "W-why?"

"Huff… Dib." He said in a nervous voice as he turned away from me and put his hands on the control wheel, starting up the cruiser again. I loosened my grip on him, as my hands fell down and withdrew from his body, Zim just tried to stare ahead into the sky but I could sense him become tense before he finally glared a little at me and said to my saddened face.

"Why does it matter to you so much? I feel everything of you, I even see through your eyes! I'm in your dreams, I hear your thoughts so why must you have all that from me?"

I moved back against the glass in hurt, pain from this… why would he detest me so much? What had I _done?_

_I __**don't**__… detest you Dib… _I blinked up as I heard his voice in my head and saw his red orbs stare at me with a shimmer of wetness in them from frustration. He suddenly turned away and started punching his controls in rage. My eyes widened fast as the ship started shaking out of control and I grabbed his arms, holding him back.

"Zim- Stop!" I said quickly and he struggled angrily in my grip, the voot cruiser stopping in mid air and I hugged him close. He hissed at me, his arms around me too as he tried to claw at my back.

"D-_Dib_!" he yelled, his angry scared face staring at my silent worried one and all of a sudden I knew the reason why he kept his thoughts away from me.

"You… don't trust… me?" I whispered and he bit his lips, glaring at me and responding in a defending tone.

"It's not like that!"

"Than what is it?" I shouted with tears just holding back and continued helplessly "I can't not be around you! I need your every substance! Your heart and soul! _I'VE given you MINE!"_

"Don't you see that I can't. I can't." He stuttered "I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I _CAN'T!"_

And he suddenly started kissing me desperately on the lips, grabbing my head with his hands and pulling me into a suffocating grip. I kissed him back hopelessly, salty water dripping down my face and burning his skin and I tightened my hold on him, pulling him on top of me.

_I'm giving you all I can! _I heard his metallic voice scream in my head as I felt his tongue attack mine, and I froze pushing his face away from me and saying.

"Zim… Tell me with your words!"

"An Irken can't be_eee_ vulnerable! You know how vulnerable I've already made myself by getting pregnant!"

"I thought that didn't matter," I said in a scarce voice and he clutched onto my shirt, staring into my eyes with a distinguished flame.

"I-t doesn't." he said, his voice weak from the kiss "I, I-I-I, I LOve You! So why should it matter but it does because for so long you were my enemy! And now.. NOTHing makes sense. I don't get it… I want you to know my _everything _but then that's it… YOU know everything. And what invader am I? Tell me!"

"I thought you didn't want to invade anymore…?" I whispered confused and he stared at me with hidden eyes.

"I don't mean that…" he said in a barely heard voice "I don't care for invading the world anymore… but I have invaded you… I have conquered you… and now… you want to conquer me?"

"I don't _see_ it as conquering!" I said frustrated and sat up properly, Zim sitting back down at his seat "I see it as loving you!"

"But…" he said in lost words and looked away through the window in angst from this all.

"Just let me." I said quietly in love and he started up the ship again driving onwards till we could see his house and the roof opening to let us in.

He flew the ship into it and I saw for the first time in my life the ship room of his base. And I knew that everything I had thought, he had heard and looked at him deeper as the glass roof of the cruiser opened and thought with all my desperate love, _…Zim… _

_You win… _he thought back as if in sadness and I blinked confused as I started to feel his heart in mine… his very soul and there was so much now. Emotions I had never felt that I couldn't even describe were flowing into me and I could suddenly feel like I was in him… I was seeing through his eyes… I was living his every memory and I felt his hand take mine as he stood outside the ship and helped me down. But I was too distracted, I couldn't concentrate, seeing his images and feeling his emotions.

_Dib? _I glanced up as I saw I was standing in the attic with him and he was looking at me, his thoughts pulling away and I said quickly.

"No… don't."

And he smiled barely, the thoughts and feelings coming back and he led me by hand to the elevator as we descended down and all my eyes were looking at was him… his alien face looking so calm but I knew from his thoughts that he had fear of it all.

"Take me to your bedroom." I said slowly and he glanced at me, a scared face but he grinned and the elevator stopped.

We came out of the fridge and into the kitchen. I could hear Gir laughing insanely as he watched Angry Monkey and I smiled shyly at that, Zim catching it and squeezing my hand tighter to remind me he was present. He pulled me softly out of the kitchen and walked on through the house till we reached a door. He opened it slowly, leading me in. And when I did step in I was in the soft yellow room with a large cushioned orange bed. There was a large sun roof that let the golden light in from the sky. I gasped at the whole warmth of the room… and never expected Zim to have such a heavenly place to himself.

"Well I am Zim." He said cockily and before he could move I hugged him tight, pulling him onto the bed. He fell on top of me, his body as hot as fire but to me was just warmth and home.

"You are such a silly person since you've given yourself to me." He said darkly, stripping down of his clothes and I ripped off my shirt and pants but still managed to keep his warm light body on my own as I hugged him so tight around the neck, the blankets wrapping around us. He rolled over to the side of me as my arms still held him close and said with a smile "Give me, give me your life…"

"I already have." I said confused, looking at his red eyes from under the soft blankets and he shook his head saying more strongly.

"Never leave my side… so I can always see you."

"YES!" I cried in happiness and kissed him in passion, his body becoming one with me as I pushed him inside of me and screamed in glorious joy "YES!"

But he was silent as he stared at me… and hugged me ever closer so I came more into him, a cruel happiness I felt him feel, but understood it as something other than that… that he had something over all his race… that he had love and had finally EVERYTHING THAT HE WANTED.

"I love you." He said to me in his metallic voice and lay there just hugging me, but I was nearly going death with the sex and all his explosive feelings inside of me. He seemed to read this so just thought.

_I'll give you everything…and will never take it away._

I started panting tiredly from the orgasm and pushed into him one more time feeling the release before I wanted to withdraw but he hugged me tight, rolling on top of me and saying slowly, _Is that all?_

I giggled tiredly saying confused, "W-what do-you-mean? I can only give, o-one round."

_No_, he said with a grin and pushed me back into him, his valves suddenly clutching onto my shaft and I felt a sting from him giving me another erection. I gasped shocked but smiled deliriously falling back on top of him and he smiled looking at me as I started going in and out of him in pleasure. I had never been in so much overwhelming sensation as we made love for hours on end and when he asked me again and again in my mind if I had enough I would keep begging pleadingly to continue this heavenly feeling as if I had been denied of him my whole life. Until I finally started to slip away into unconsciousness and could feel him lay beside my tired body… just staring at me in amaze. He had a shared victory with me… but somehow I felt I had conquered him for once and as my body began falling asleep I tried to reach out and hold him close to me, but he just lay to my side…reaching… his…h-a-n-d…o-u-t…

There was a bang, a smash, screams and yells.

I jumped in terror at the night sky above our heads as the sun window had been smashed by men in suits, falling in the room from ropes. I jumped about panicky on the bed and saw Zim asleep next to me, his large bulbs closed in peace but I shook him hurriedly before one of the men pointed a gun at me shouting.

"Don't move! Dib Membrane! You're returning to the hospital"

"-What? NO!" I shouted in rage and felt the bed move a little as Zim opened one of his eyes barely but I threw the blanket over him to hide his undisguised face, _Please Zim! Don't look up! _I begged but I could feel him feel completely confused as he thought in disillusion.

_You said you'd never leave my sight?_ A hurt voice and he sat up, the blankets falling off him and the men screamed in terror as they shouted lost.

"An ALIEN!"

Zim's red eyes opened wide in shock and they all pointed their guns at him, making him instinctively flare out his spider legs and they screamed in horror. I looked at him with gaping eyes.

"Don't move or we shoot!" one of the men yelled and he glanced about at them in almost terror but hissed.

"Get out of my house!"

I rushed to him, hugging him tight in panic on the bed begging, _Zim put your legs away! They'll think you're bad!_

But he seemed to be too much in defensive mode to hear.

"Please Zim!" I shouted out loud and then one of the guns went off, the bullet hitting the wall and making Zim spring up to the roof to get away but a net fell on him from the helicopter above and he fell off the house's roof, disappearing from my sight.

"ZIM!" I screamed petrified and tried to run out of the bed to be with him but the men grabbed me as soon as my foot hit the ground, straggling my naked body as they shouted.

"Dib Membrane, you need help! You might have been infected! We must take you to the labs!"

"ZIM! _ZIM!_" I screamed as they pulled me with them out through the smashed window into the helicopter and I looked down in gushing tears below as the men restrained Zim. His mind in so much fear and terror… until I could feel his thoughts go blank from tranquilizers. I roared in ferocity.

"!"

My panting… my l-life… my heart…

All…

….Zim…

* * *

**Well that's all... for now. It was really hard to write the last bit because I became a bit emotionally but I did. Next update will come soon. If you do like this story, review. I hope you had fun reading it...bye.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Final chapter... scared? Oh did it come to soon? There won't be any author notes at the end so if you liked this story, thanks. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"NOOOO!" I screamed desperately as they tied me up with straps and put me on a metal trolley, white lights everywhere, shining on my skin and blinding my eyesight "P-p-please!" I cried pathetically "Please let me GO!"

How was it that I ended back up in a hospital night gown? Why was this all happening? I couldn't take it, why? _WHY? _I believed in God, I believed in good versus evil my whole life and because I had fallen in love with evil it couldn't be? God wouldn't accept it? Was that it?

"Oh PLEASE!" I begged, my pupils shrunk so far they were like microscopic dots in my irises and the men looked down at me as I was being pushed through the different white halls in speed.

One said in a quickened voice,

"I think he's in shock."

"What should we do?" Another guy yelled whose face was as flushed as mine in panic "Do you think it's because of skin contact with that _thing?_"

Thing? Everything slowed down when I heard him call Zim that… a thing… like, he was some kind of monster? Like what they were doing was not monstrous themselves? They were not human beings… they were the aliens, getting ready to test me and probe me. This was not real… Zim had not just been dragged away in a net and taken from me… i-it wasn't real… this wasn't real.

"This is a dream!" I shouted panicky to them and they stared at me with wary eyes as doors burst opened by the trolley "You are all NOT REAL! YOU'RE NOT! _YOU'RE NOT REAL!YOU'RE NOT! NOTTTTT!_"

"HE'S DEFINETELY IN SHOCK!" The oldest man said fast and nodded to the other men as suddenly the trolley banged hard against a surgery tray "Give him morphine"

"DON'T YOU GIVE ME MOR-OR-ORTHINE!" I screamed with tears clashing down my face in the strain I was in with my heart just beating madly. Zim wasn't here with me! I couldn't feel him! I _COULDN'T FEEL HIM!_

"STOP! ST-STOP!" I yelled trying to bite the men as they neared the large needle toward my flesh "STOP IT! _WHY W-WON'T YOU ST-STOP!_" I begged, staring at them,

"AHH!"

It pierced into my skin and was oozed quietly in, my eyes trying to stay wide awake but lidded a little in tire and I slowly started to feel relaxed… but not calm… n-not caaaaaaaaalm.

I never fell asleep… but couldn't move… I could feel that the needle was never pulled out but was instead connected to a hospital bag full of morphine to keep me relaxed and immobile for the whole experiment. It was actually kind of peaceful as the people looked like black shadows in the shining white light that was above my barely covered body… it was like I was seeing my loved ones in heaven, and I smiled weakly trying to say,

"…am I home…? Heh heh, A-are you all welcoming me?" but when it come out it was all sluggish and salivary and the people just whispered _shhh_, _everything will be alright_.

"Oh it will…" I said in joy and peace in hearing that "I'm going to you… L-Lord… I'm coming…"

I could hear one of the dark figures chuckle and I tried to laugh too, I was so deliriously happy.

_DIB! W-what's happening?_ I heard an angel voice say to me and I looked slowly around confused.

"Who iss dat…?"

And then in one of my eyes the room started to change, showing a dark room with hooks and needles and saws…knives for dissecting, for chopping up flesh and then I felt, it felt like it was a dream… like I was suddenly completely someone else… this person with three fingers on each hand and with huge eyes that could see so many colours my human ones couldn't.

I was tied down, trapped, just like before in the surgery room but I wasn't happy anymore… no, I… I-I was _terrified._ And I was screaming, screaming out those humans' words that they still didn't seem to understand.

"_I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT! I THOUGHT YOU FELT LOVE! I WAS GOING TO __**DESTROY YOU ALL **__BUT I DIDN'T! __**I DIDN'T!**_"

I felt the knives slowly cut across my skin and felt the screams of my other half… my dream half.

"DIB!" I heard him say "SAVE ME! _SAVE ME!_"

When ever I was sad or in pain and crying me eyes out I used to imagine I had a mum, and what she'd sing to me if I was upset… my dad bought a CD when I was a toddler with a song on it and every time I was upset it played and… I was no longer sad.

Maybe… if I sang it… it would make him stop crying.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word… mommas gonna buy you a mocking bird, if that mocking bird don't sing…"

The men on the table looked at my white face as I sang in a delirious voice, my golden eyes half closed in peace and I felt my other half stop screaming… just listening and wailing silently.

"…and if that horse and cart falls over, mommas gonna buy you a dog name Rover."

"_D-dib_…" Zim whispered as purple blood squirted from his body and I could see a knife heading right for his… my… chest.

"…and if that pocket watch won't work…"

It dug in… and hit this large organ… I couldn't recognise it but because of this cut, blood started to pump out all over the body and suddenly I was singing to myself… as he had gone away and I knew it… I just knew… he hadn't just gone away… he had just…gone.

"Y-you'll still be the sweetest little baby in t-town…"

…a tear silently rolled down my face… and I lay my head back on the trolley… just not there anymore.

Everything else was a blur but as soon as I had stopped trying to speak… to feel… a familiar voice shouted slowly in the room.

"What in the name of Isaac Newton are you doing to MY son?"

The men that stood over me stopped instantly in terror as a man with raven black hair and goggles looked down at me and started demanding an answer as to how bringing me back to the mental ward (as he put it) ended up with me naked on a surgery table?

_Well you see- THERE was an ALIEN! It was in self defence. _

_Nonsense! _The man yelled in fury, _there is no such things as ALIENS! That green kid just had a skin desease and pink eye…uh huh…mmm- what? YOU _

That one word went around and around and around in my head, _KILLLLLLLLLLLLL,_ spinning and making it so real, _KILLLLL_… NOT Alive… not breathing… not living… not anything…

_Take him to a room and get him off that dam morphine!_

I felt woozy as a long needle pulled out of my vein and I was suddenly whooshed along with the trolley bursting through halls until I came into a patient recovery room and my lifeless body was lifted off the trolley and put in a soft tepid bed… warm blankets being pulled over me… and then the curtains opened… showing the light of the day.

I lay there… in silence. My eyes dazing up at the ceiling.

White boards over my head… like squares… ice-creams… love… how I had loved. Now I was dead… barely able to feel anything in my numbed body.

But even though I couldn't move… I could still feel… the things that I didn't want to feel.

I would sacrifice my emotions forever if I could just feel physical pain instead of what I was feeling.

"Oh…oh o-ohhh…" I whimpered tears starting to form in my eyes. "G-gone…" I whispered as water streamed quietly down my cheeks "six years… all G-gone… No, _n-no_…!"

And what did I say when he said my name, what did _I _say?

"_Hush little baby, don't say a word_"

WHAT DID I SAY!

"_HUSH LITTLE BABY DON'T SAY A WORD_- _YOU'LL STILL BE THE SWEETEST LITTLE BABY IN __**TOWN?**_"

"ZIM'S DEAD!" I suddenly screamed as the numbness broke away in my face and the whole hospital shook… shook all around "_HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! NOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" _my face going red in rage as furious sweat poured down my forehead and I bounced about in the bed trying to shake the numbness from my body but men with coats ran in restraining my hysterical bouncing and then everything went blurry to dark.

Everytime I aroused from my sedation it was the same thing… vigorous juddering, screaming… and then blackness again.

My eyes slowly flickered opened for the fifth time in the last eight hours and just as the pain was starting to come back… I froze… as a girl was looking back at me with clouded eyes and messy distressed purple hair.

I gasped in a tremble and just looked at her… my eyes wide opened. And she stared at me, her cold voice saying in a quiver.

"Dib… I didn't mean too…"

"…what?" I said in a weak voice from all the sedation "W-what didn't you mean?"

"I just wanted you to get your care… to help you recover…"

"Gaz…?" I whispered, my eyes hurting from all the tears I had cried that day "What did you do…?"

"When you escaped from the ward… I-I-I,"

"what?"

"I told Dad that you were most likely heading to Zim's house…" she said in a stone voice, a weak scared emotion peeking out and I just stared at her.

I breathed… slowly…

And just whispered,

"and so what do you want _now_?"

"I want to get you and Zim out of here. I want to be…" she shuddered at the word… as if she didn't want to say it but hissed "Forgiven."

"Zim's dead." I hissed back and she shot her golden eyes up at me in shock- disbelief as she said,

"What?"

"You just killed Zim" I hissed "…when you told dad that I was at his house you killed him… you killed him…my child… your nephew… you KILLED THEM _**ALL!**_"

She just stared at me, her eyes quaking as she muttered "what-"

"ZIM WAS PREGNANT! YOU _EVIL _BITCH! _**HE WAS PREGNANT!**_"

"It can't be… no…" she said confused "Don't lie to me Dib or I'll-"

"Pound me?" I screamed "IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU WHO DIED!"

"Oh my God…" she said staggering back "Dib, I-I didn't know! I… I-I didn't…"

"I have always been nice to you…" I growled furiously, my face a cold hate filled sweat "All the times you've hurt me, kicked me when I was down, told me I was a friendless loser… you do the one thing that I just c-can't FORGIVE! AHH!"

"-Ahh!"

She screamed ducking as I was about to strike her but something physically stopped my hand a minute from hitting her, and I shook all over, wanting my hand to destroy her flesh just in the way she had destroyed MY LIFE! But I felt a whine in my stomach… a swirl, which made me gasp… my hands falling down and holding it realising…

I still had Zim's baby in me…

I stiffened… the foetus moving about, what could this shock have done to it? The raised blood pressure pumping into it's little body… it was suffering, because I was suffering… I was torturing my little Zim and I closed my eyes, breathing in and out as slowly as I could. Just in and out. Holding my stomach and praying… praying that I'd get out of here… b-but… Zim was gone… who would deliver this baby with out trying to destroy it.

Zim was gone… and I was a pregnant boy with a baby that might be growing at double or even triple the rate of a normal human foetus.

My eyes were closed and I breathed in deep breadths, Gaz looking at me with confusion but obviously she was near to crying and she said scared.

"Dib… hit me, kill me if you must! I deserve it! I'm a _bitch_! I've destroyed the life of the only person I ever loved!"

I was still silent… holding my belly and meditating on what was going to happen to me.

"Please! Do something!" she yelled and grabbed her head in grief, ripping out some of her purple hair and looking at it with hate whispering "I deserve to die. I de-serve to **die.**"

"Gaz." I said quietly, listening to her anguished moans and slit my pained eyes opened, glaring at her but my eyes eased, I c-couldn't do it…

"Please…" I cried weakly in a begging tone grabbing her hand that lay on the bed and she flinched at my touch in premeditation "I can't do this… I can't,"

"You can…you can hit me." She said strongly and I shook my head, tears coming down my face.

"No!" I said "Because I need you to deliver… my baby!"

Gaz's eyes widened immensely to the state of popping out and she said in total confusion "What?"

"I'M PREGNANT!" I yelled with a face of a waterfall "With Zim's baby!"

"How many drugs do they have you on?" she asked in total hysteria and I shook my head desperately, pulling her hand to my gut and whispering to my smeet in total plead, "Please… please do something."

There was silence… Gaz just staring at me in totally apprehension, and I kept pleading, begging it to do something.

"D-dib…" she said worried and I silenced her trying to tell the thing inside of me to just move.

And then...

"There!" I said suddenly feeling it make a bump in my flat belly and Gaz stared at me concerned. "C'mon…" I whispered and suddenly felt another punch, this one hitting hard where Gaz's hand was touching me and she shot back instantly in fear saying freaked out.

"Dib what the hell?"

"Zim got me pregnant."

"How?" she yelled in shock.

"We-"

"Eww! NO! I don't want to know what my brother does with extraterrestrials!" she replied in a loud disgusted voice and then took a few breaths, staring at me in deadness and asking "So how?"

"I thought you didn't want to know-"

"Not that moron!" she said angrily but saw my face and calmed down, knowing she really shouldn't have called me that at this time "I mean," she said with a nervous sigh "How am I meant to deliver it? How? HOW CAN I DELIVER A BABY FROM A GUY?"

"I don't know," I said barely, breathing in and out calmly but my mind was on that Irken invader…on where he was…where his body lay and I said in sadness "Just take me to Zim."

"How-" but she cut short seeing my face, my destroyed, strained face and said looking to the ground "We'll look in every room of this laboratory. Just say when you're ready."

"Now." I replied coldly.

We searched all through the giant laboratory, scientist who played the dark deed watching us but didn't dare stop us because of our father's power. I didn't asked which room he was in… I didn't want a person who was actually there tell me, I would've killed them. My feet were shoeless as they walked on the cold tiled ground, Gaz just looking in the windows of doors that I passed to see if she could see him. I just kept walking straight up the long hall and when I felt the nudge in my stomach suddenly point to the door on my left I stopped my cold hard walk and turned, my dead dark eyes going to the door that had no window and I pushed it opened, Gaz walking up behind me with a self-loathing face on as she knew I had found him.

The room was dark just like I had seen in Zim's eyes, a dim green light shining on all the tools, the knives…scrooges and saws… which they dissected him with.

Eight hours ago.

"Oh God."

I turned around hearing Gaz speak in a sickened voice and I turned my eyes in her direction and saw him.

His body parts all in separate liquid filled containers, his green arms… legs…torso…and…

His eyes stared back at me with an anguished face, his whole head in a jar filled with the same gooey liquid and I stared at him… my heart breaking, my soul literally tearing in half.

"What have they done to you?" I asked with a jolted voice, and I walked stiffly over to his head, seeing with every step, more and more of the lines on the tortured expression. I was only a step away from the jar and just stopped, breathing.

"I'm so sorry Dib." Gaz said barely, and came behind me, scared to put her hand on my shoulder for she never did anything that intimate.

"Just cry… just cry and we can go."

"I'm done crying." I whispered with nothing, for my soul had finally been broken, crushed "I don't want to cry anymore… I just want to take him home…"

"Then let's."

I closed my eyes sinking my head down in a half nod and picked up the heavy container, but I knew it was only because of the goo and jar… Zim had always been light to me…

We walked out of the lab with Zim's head staring hatefully at all the men that dared look at him. I was glad that he had that face… I wanted everyone to see the pain they had caused…imprinted in his face just like it was imprinted in my soul… and I still wondered… wondered why fate would play such a cruel trick on me… on the night that Zim let me into his whole being… when he had finally learned to…love, completely and utterly back.

I shuddered away at that memory, that all so clear memory that would now never be realised again…n-never again.

We arrived at Zim's house by foot, the children screaming when they saw his face as we walked along the footpath but I knew that was what he would've wanted. As I opened the door I saw Gir hitting his head and singing "Do de do de do de doo!"

But he stopped dead when he saw his master's face look at him in a scream of agony.

"Master?" He cried running over to me and I lowered the jar as he pressed his little metal hands against it staring straight into Zim's eyes "Why are you in a jar?"

"Zim is dead." I said barely and Gir shook his head laughing.

"That's not true, when ever my head falls off I justs sticks it back on!"

"That won't work." Gaz replied lowly and Gir just looked up at us confused.

"W-why wouldn't it work? W-why wouldn't it?" he asked nearly begging and started tapping the glass saying innocently "Hey Zim! You missed the Angry Monkey show again but don'ts worry, I recorded it!"

"Gir." Gaz said sickened at this ignorance "His dead! Are you effed up or something that you can't see HIS NOT ALIVE-"

"I-I- UHHH!" he roared frustrated hitting his head and I took the plunge knowing I would have too.

"Gir… Zim told me that he's going away on a new mission…forever…b-but he wants you to stay here… with me."

He stared at me with his big aqua eyes, narrowing them suspicious "Well if that's what Zim said…Okay!"

And he went off, watching the television again.

Me and Gaz just stood there motionless as the tv played noise in the background before I continued on walking, walking on into the backyard and laid Zim down, getting on my knees and digging at the dirt with my pale strained hands.

Gaz had followed and was watching me quietly, knowing she should not interfere.

The dirt was cold, moist and full of life as I dug it away and I felt water drop from my eyes with out me knowing… I was at it for two hours… but I wanted it to be sincere…I wanted him to know I had tried.

I opened the jar's lid and slowly lifted him out with both hands.

I held him head level to me, Gaz watching ever so silent, and whispered with wet eyes.

"You're beautiful…b-beautiful," I said in a quaky voice and those red eyes stared at me, the moonlight reflecting in them as if he didn't believe what I said "Y-you are." I said and held his head next to mine… kissing it on the forehead and… on the lips.

I placed him gently in the ground and started to bury him, but my hands were shaking a little as I did. When he was gone... completely, I stood and walked quietly back inside, but Gaz stayed outside and I wondered if it was just to say that she was sorry… that she was wrong about the whole thing.

Every day I got bigger…

Not noticeable by much but if you took a picture of me on Monday and then on Sunday you'd see I had gained weight… and all in one area. I never left Zim's house since the day I buried him. Gaz came over everyday with food and drink… I was eating so much yet I was in so much pain as my ribs expanded grotesquely near my hips. But that's not the only reason she came… we were worried…

We didn't know how to work his computers, even when I used my Irken translator, I knew it would take me six months to figure it out at least… and I was in so much pain. My insides grounded around everyday as the smeet took up more and more room, if I could get any paler I did… it absorbed my blood and took all the food I ate… I was skinny to the bone everyway else beside my stomach which had purple veins streaking down it… stretch marks… but something wasn't okay.

I had been thinking the day when I realised I couldn't get up from Zim's couch… Zim said that Irken smeets take a year to grow but he estimated it'd be a quicker pace with me… Zim was going to do a caesarean. It had been two months and I just couldn't get off the couch… I was too big in the middle yet bone everywhere else… I hadn't been doing exercise for I was always weak from lack of nutrients. And what if labour didn't come soon…? I started to think worried, what if it wasn't coming out till the whole twelve months… I mean, the baby thought it was in an Irken… so it calculated the semester period as if it was Irken… what if it just kept on growing…

Gaz finally came in the door after school and walked over to me as she saw me laying there… a huge tumour lump around my torso and me praying to God… but no, not to God… he had never helped… I was praying to Zim. Praying that he'd save me, save the baby. And if I was true… praying that the last eight weeks were just a dream.

"Dib…how much longer is this going to take?" Gaz asked scared as she looked at my state, her eyes shaking as she was really looking at an incubator.

"Gaz…" I said scared "It's not coming out…for another ten months."

"Okay, but I've seen Zim… his race is not that big? But YOU, you're huge… how are we going to do this."

I shut my eyes, about to cry as I knew what was going to have to happen and I raised my head slowly, strongly up as I said in a barely heard voice "You have to cut me open."

"WHAT?" Gaz screamed hysteric "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It has to come out now." I said sturdily "Now. YOU HAVE TO DO IT _NOW_."

"What? But I thought you wanted to keep that little Zim thing?"

"It's developed enough," I said hastily with fear "it's OVER developed! It has to come out! Get the knife!"

"_DIB!"_ she yelled desperately "I'm not going to cut you open! N-no!" she cried "We'll take you to the hospital!"

"You know that if anyone sees it they'll kill it and CHOP IT UP!" Just like _him_, they'd destroy him as many times as they could, destroy any part I had left. And then it all came so obvious… I had prepared for this… I had known before it was even fornicated in the universe…

I was always meant to have Zim's child, the day he found out he was pregnant was the day I stabbed myself… testing the pain… knowing it would come again… but I had made it. I had _made_ it and I would make it again!

"Give me the knife Gaz," I said and she stared at me scared shaking her head.

"No."  
"You know I'll survive! GIVE ME THE KNIFE!"

She shuddered and gave me a pitiful stare before running to the kitchen and pulling out the biggest butcher knife she could find.

She handed it to me with pain in her eyes and I held it to the side of my stomach, stabbing it in deep and felt the sudden twinge of pain but it was nothing.

"Oh God…" Gaz said covering her mouth as blood started to spurt out and I screamed quickly "Pull the hole apart and get it out!"

She reached her hands forward toward the bloody puncture but squirmed back in ailing saying "No! No I can't!"

"_DO I-it!" _I begged as I felt so weak but she just stared at the blood all over the floor and started yelling in terror, her hands dashing back and forth and I finally grabbed my own open flesh and tore, tore myself apart until I felt something which didn't give a sensation… a small arm, and I, I smiled goofily, I was actually touching my child.

Gaz saw the small arm too and forced her hands inside of me, grabbing the smeet by its small skinny body and pulling it out with such force that she ripped out my… myy…

I couldn't remember… I couldn't remember anything as I stood up in a quiet room and listened to the most soundless noise I had ever heard.

I was still in Zim's living room, but it was empty… cold and alone…

What…what was I just doing? Whatever it was it just wasn't important anymore… like the world I just left was just a page… An empty page of… nothing.

And then I heard it…_hush little baby don't say a word…_

"I know that song…?" I said… or did I think it… the voice was different though… it wasn't the young ladies voice on the cd… it was a high voice… one you would only hear once and would think… what a unique voice.

_And if that dog name Rover don't bark, _I walked out of the living room to the yard and saw a green alien leaning against a wall singing to himself with violet cheeks…_Momma's gonna buy you a diamond heart._

"Z…zim?" I said in words that made him smile although he never looked at me.

"_And if that diamond heart is never found…_you'll,"

He was looking at me now and whispered "_You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town._"

"Why would you sing an earth nursery rhyme?" I asked confused and he giggled evilly.

"In Irk we have no nursery rhymes."

"I could swear… I was in the middle of something…" I said worried that I had forgotten something very important…almost-

"Life threatening?" Zim asked with a smirk "Why aren't you shocked?"

"Why would I be?" I asked confused.

"Because I'm here with you."

"But I see you in my dreams." I replied confused… and it was true "So if you're going to kiss me you better do it soon before I wake up."

He laughed "Dib, look behind you."

I burrowed my eyebrows confused and turned around slowly seeing that there was no wall blocking the inside and there I suddenly saw a foggy ghostlike Gaz holding close to her a wrapped up naked baby… with this large mangled body sprawled across the couch.

I suddenly felt a pain in my heart as I looked at them… it was so hot and violet and it was as if looking at these ghost like people was affecting me.

I blinked worried looking at them and said fast "Something's wrong."

"You're right…something is wrong…"

I froze hearing his voice and felt my body feel another strong attraction… this was it… it was yellow and fuzzy… like the way he made me feel when he kissed me but only a million times more powerful and I bit my lip hard in desire as I looked at him, his tall slender angelic body.

"What is this?" I asked scared "Why do I feel this way."

"Do you want me Dib?"

I just stared at him in longing and nodded saying "Yes."

"Then c'mon…" he said with a smile and reached out his hand to me.

I, I felt so much happiness as I reached for his hand, I wanted to take it so badly… too hold and to love and to be with him, his heavenly face and his beautiful smile and just a centre-meter from touch something clicked in me.

And I started to cry… cry so much that tears soaked my face and clothes and made me feel what was really happening.

"I'm d-dying!" I said and he looked at me sadly but still with a smile, "I'm _dying!_" I said again and turned around seeing my body get foggier and foggier… and my heart burned more as I looked at Gaz who had put the baby down somewhere and was shaking me softly… but then got more desperate when I didn't stir.

"Zim…" I wept with the pain… that was slowly getting softer "What about everything? What about…it?"

"It's a girl." He said with a smile "Gaz has always wanted a little girl."

"B-ut, how?" I whispered.

"Human blood gave it a sex." Zim said with a grin.

"He, he…a girl…" I said with a small smile and then just whispered to myself slowly "I have a girl…"

I had not noticed but his hand was still waiting for me.

"B-but…I… don't want to leave you," I cried weakly.

"Gaz has a little girl… she'll take her away and leave her life…" Zim said with a smile that seemed to know more than I would ever know, "You can stay if you want… I won't stop you…"

But even though I knew in my heart that that's what was needed to be done I knew I would never live my life… with out him.

I'd cry every night in the dark of my room, seeing only blurred images of him in my dreams… I knew in my heart that Zim would be fine with out me… but never me without him.

What I needed… the reason why I had been so unhappy throughout my life was because I had tried to ignore him… and maybe the reason why I had was because I knew… that I would've ended up here with him… only earlier.

And so I whispered knowing that this… this was happiness to me,

"…give m-me your hand…" a smile raising in my lip…I was going home,

I was with Zim.

"H-hush lil' b-baby don't s-say a w-w-w-word…" Gaz sang with trembling lips, tears running down her face as she looked at her lifeless brother mutilated on the couch "D-dib?" she whispered finally, reaching her hand out and touching the ice cold body. She just stared at him… at his cut up, torn about body and cried, her head shaking down… she was alone…but a little sound was made and she looked behind her seeing the wrapped up creature wailing a little and got up, her legs shivering as she neared the smeet and picked it up …holding it tightly.

As tightly, as she could…

The End.


	14. Sequel!

**Hey, I know I recently added a chapter about Q&A but I've got news.**

**I've been requested to write a sequel so I decided to give it a shot. It will be centred around Zim and Dib's daughter Zoe and the link is here**

_**.net/s/7614421/1/The_Dream**_

**I'll write a few chapters and if I get a good response I'll continue the story.**

**Guess that's it,**

**Bye!**


End file.
